The Wise Effort Show

Choosing Wholeness in Relationships with Courtney Smith


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According to Courtney Smith, fear can send us “below the line” in relationships. When you act from fear, you end up scrambling for security, control, and safety–often at the expense of wholeness. In this conversation, Dr. Diana Hill and Courtney Smith, author of Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness, explore ways to shift into more authentic relating. They explore how to stay grounded while connecting, how to notice when we are caught in a story, and how to become growth-oriented co-creators. Along the way, Diana and Courtney demo some of these skills in their relationship, in real time. This is a fun one, especially if you are craving deeper relationships–ones that meet you at the soul level. 

In This Episode, We Explore:
  • How to know yourself and another with one-eye-in and one-eye-out
  • Growth mindset in relationships
  • Shift moves to approach life from a place of safety
  • How to claim what you want, out loud
  • What’s really behind envy and what to do about it
  • False Refuges finding true security
  • The Power of Soul Friendships

Suggested Next Episode:

Episode 114: How To Build Secure Relationships In An Insecure World With Dr. Ann Kelley

Related Resources

Get enhanced show notes for this episode

  • Order my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.
  • Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.

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  • Follow Diana on YouTubeInstagramLinkedInFacebook, and Diana’s website.

Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Mentioned in this episode:

Join me in Costa Rica April 2026

 So come to Costa Rica, go to drdianahill.com/costa-rica to learn more. I'd love to meet you. I'd love to spend a week of transformation with you and give yourself the gift this spring of renewal.

Diana's Retreat in Costa Rica

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The Wise Effort ShowBy Dr. Diana Hill

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