Yo! How was your weekend? Did you see The Batman? *Did Lazlo cut ties with a regular guest of the program for financial reasons? *Everything you need to know about masturbation pods and how to convince your company to buy a few for the office. *Doomscrolling!! The cease-fire in Ukraine didn't seem to hold up. When faking your own kidnapping goes wrong. What would you do if a teacher smacked your kid across the face? Brittney Griner picked a bad time to sneak contraband through Russian TSA. Gas prices are so high, the whole world is using Shaq math. *A Florida man uses the greatest excuse we've ever heard to try and get out of a speeding ticker. What's your go-to excuse? *Volodymyr Zelenskyy has made quite a name for himself by staying in Ukraine and fighting alongside his countrymen. Which modern-day U.S. presidents would do the same? *People voted on the saddest songs in the world and now we're all crying. Crying because the songs are literally sad, not sad attempts at songs like Kanye's recent work. *Monday out! Hope you have a great day and a nice little evening cuddled up on the couch with your favorite James Patterson book and a glass of grapefruit juice. I'm not allowed to drink grapefruit juice because it interacts with my medications so I'll have to stick with 99 Bananas. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @churchoflazlo and check out our website www.lazlo.church See you tomorrow! -Everybody Wang Chung!!!