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Stress: What Happens to Your Brain and Body (And How to Stay Grounded) 

Have you ever felt hijacked by your emotions in the middle of a family conflict—and later wondered, “Why did I react that way?” In this episode, Tina Gosney breaks down the powerful brain and body science behind your stress response. You’ll learn what happens when your nervous system senses danger, why it’s so hard to stay calm in high-conflict situations, and how to ground yourself when you feel emotionally flooded.

Discover the truth behind fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses, what it means to experience an “amygdala hijack,” and how you can shift from reactivity to resilience with a few simple tools. This episode will help you normalize your stress response, reduce shame, and take your power back in emotionally charged family moments.

Episode Outline

Understanding the Stress Response
Tina explains how your nervous system responds to emotional threats the same way it does to physical danger, often without your awareness.

Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn: What They Look Like in Families
Learn how these stress responses show up in real life—especially during arguments, boundary violations, and family gatherings.

The Amygdala Hijack: Why You Can’t Think Clearly When You’re Triggered
Explore how your brain shifts from logical to reactive and what that means for your behavior in high-stakes moments.

Stress in the Body: Cortisol, Adrenaline, and Physical Symptoms
Understand the physical side effects of stress and why it’s not “all in your head.”

Tools to Calm Your Nervous System
Get 5 simple, science-backed tools to help you re-regulate your body and re-engage your thinking brain.

Related Episodes & Additional Resources

“When It Comes Out of Nowhere: Responding to Unexpected Family Hurt” – Learn how to handle emotional “gut punch” moments and move through pain without spiraling.
Bridge to Connection Program –

·         Find out how to identify your triggers

·         Discover how your brain shapes your relationships

·         Gain the strength to stand strong in the emotional storm

·         Move out of destructive conflict and into constructive conflict

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

 

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 186 - How to Rebuild Emotional Connection in Marriage with EFT Attachment Questions 

Have you ever felt like you and your spouse are speaking different languages? Like no matter how hard you try, the two of you just keep missing each other? 

You’re not alone. Many couples struggle with emotional disconnection—not because they don’t love each other, but because they don’t know how to answer the real questions underneath the conflict. 

In this episode of the Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, I share: 

• A personal story from my early marriage that shows how easy it is to miss each other emotionally.
• The three powerful attachment questions from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) that can completely shift the way you relate to your partner.
• Why “being there” for your spouse is about emotional presence—not just doing things for them.
• How we actually keep choosing our partner every single day—not just when we said “I do.”
• The truth about bids for connection—and why so many of us miss them.
• Practical steps you can take this week to show up differently and begin rebuilding emotional connection in your marriage.

Whether you’ve been married for five years or thirty-five, learning to answer these three questions—Are you there for me? Do I matter to you? Will you turn toward me?—can help you rebuild trust, deepen intimacy, and create a more secure bond with your spouse.

If you’ve been feeling distant, disconnected, or like you’re living more like roommates than partners, this episode will give you both insight and actionable steps to start creating change.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
 

• Episode 180 with Leah Davidson: How Your Nervous System Shapes Reactions, Relationships, and Resilience 
• Episode 184 – How Attachment Styles Affect Your Partner Relationship – and Your Whole Family

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 186 – How to Set Boundaries without Damaging the Relationship

Most people think boundaries are about drawing a line in the sand to keep someone out. But when boundaries are used the wrong way, they can actually harm the very relationship you’re trying to protect—especially with your adult children.

In this popular episode, I’ll show you how to set boundaries that strengthen connection instead of shutting it down. Whether you’re navigating emotional distance from an adult child, feeling like you’re “walking on eggshells,” or wondering how to protect yourself without pushing someone away, this episode will give you a better way forward.

You’ll learn:

• Three common mistakes people make when setting boundaries—and why they backfire.
• The hidden beliefs that cause us to use boundaries ineffectively.
• How to protect yourself and stay open to connection.
• When creating distance is the healthiest and safest option.

If you’ve ever searched for:

• “How to reconnect with an estranged adult child”
• “Why won’t my adult child talk to me”
• “Setting boundaries with adult children”
  …this episode will help you understand why boundaries sometimes fail and what to do instead.

It’s time to stop using boundaries as walls and start using them as bridges—so you can protect your well-being and keep your most important relationships intact.

 

Related Episodes:Top of Form

Episode 142: How to Stop Polluting the Ecosystem of Your Relationship

 

Episode 130: Withdrawing from a Relationship- Losing Relationship Strategy #5

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

How secure is your emotional connection with your partner?

In this episode of the Coaching Your Family Relationships Podcast, with guest Thomas Westenholz, we explore how attachment styles impact the way we relate to our partners—and how those patterns ripple into the rest of our family system.

You’ll learn:

• What attachment theory reveals about the ways we connect, argue, withdraw, or pursue in our closest relationships
• How to recognize your own attachment style—and why that awareness is the key to building emotional safety
• How a distant or conflict-filled partner relationship can lead to tension, emotional distance, or even estrangement from adult children
• The basics of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and how it helps couples repair and rebuild trust
• Why healing the parent-partner bond is foundational for improving communication and connection across the entire family

Whether you’re feeling emotionally shut down, constantly on edge, or just wondering why your relationship feels “off,” this episode will give you language, insight, and real strategies to begin shifting the dynamics—without blame or shame.

Learn more about Thomas Westenholz:

Website

Podcast

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 183 - When It Comes Out of Nowhere: The Emotional Gut Punch

What do you do when a family conflict hits you out of nowhere and leaves you reeling? In this episode, Tina Gosney shares how to navigate the emotional “gut punch” of sudden family hurt. You'll learn why these moments are so disorienting, how our reactions can intensify suffering, and how to begin responding with clarity, courage, and self-compassion.

Tina explains the Buddhist teaching of the Two Arrows and the difference between clean pain and dirty pain—two powerful concepts that will change the way you process emotional pain. This episode is packed with validation, insight, and practical tools for anyone who feels blindsided by family conflict and doesn’t know how to move forward.

Episode Outline

The “Gut Punch” of Sudden Family Conflict
Tina introduces the metaphor of the emotional gut punch—how it feels, why it’s so destabilizing, and why it’s common in family relationships.

The Two Arrows: Pain vs. Suffering
Learn the Buddhist concept of the first and second arrow. Discover how we unintentionally add suffering to our pain by believing fearful or self-critical thoughts.

Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain
Explore the difference between honest emotional pain and the reactive patterns that keep us stuck. Learn how to stay present with clean pain instead of spiraling into dirty pain.

How to Stay Grounded After the Gut Punch
Tina offers practical steps to care for yourself in the moment—naming the pain, noticing the second arrow, letting the emotions move, and finding compassion for yourself.

Why These Moments Can Become Turning Points
Hear how these painful moments, while difficult, can also be invitations to grow stronger, set new boundaries, and reconnect with your core self.

Related Episodes & Additional Resources

 Download: Heal the Rift – 5 Steps to Reconnect with Your Adult Child – A free resource with simple, powerful steps to begin rebuilding connection 

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE GUIDE

Set up a Connection Call with Tina: CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 182 - When Family Hurts: Why Pulling Back Isn't Selfish - It's Part of Healing

Episode Summary:
Have you ever stepped back from a family relationship because it just hurt too much to stay close? Maybe a child rejected your values, your faith, or even blamed you for their pain—and you’re left feeling broken, confused, and ashamed for needing space.

This episode is your reminder:
 You are not broken.
You are not selfish.
And you are allowed to take care of yourself.

In this heart-to-heart conversation, I’m talking about why it hurts so much when family relationships feel strained, especially for women who’ve been taught to self-sacrifice in the name of love. I’ll walk you through the survival patterns we develop—like control, silence, and emotional distance—and show you how to begin healing from the inside out.

You’ll learn:

• Why your pain makes sense (and doesn’t make you weak)
• How to recognize and unlearn reactive patterns
• What healthy emotional space looks like—and why it’s necessary
• How your healing becomes a gift to future generations
• Why pulling back can be a loving choice, not a selfish one

If you're feeling stuck, lost, or unsure how to move forward with a family member—especially an adult child—this episode is for you.

 

Free Live Online Training: End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships That Last

July 30 and 31, 2025

CLICK HERE TO RESERVE YOUR SEAT

Favorite Quote from the Episode:
"Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is step back and let the wound breathe. That’s not selfish—it’s wisdom."

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 181 - When Love Becomes Control: How Enmeshment Keeps Mothers Stuck

Have you ever felt like your child’s success—or failure—reflects your worth as a mother? If you’ve found yourself trying to fix their problems, steer their life, or hold it all together for them, this episode is for you.

In this powerful and vulnerable conversation, I share how many women—especially mothers—unknowingly lose themselves in their relationships. What looks like love and concern is often fear and control shaped by cultural, religious, and family systems.

You’ll learn:

• What enmeshment really is (and how it’s not the same as closeness)
• Why mothers tie their identity and worth to their children’s choices
• How your nervous system keeps pulling you toward old patterns
• Why we were never taught how to belong to ourselves and to others
• How to begin shifting toward healthy, grounded love through differentiation

This episode is not about blame. It’s about healing, clarity, and reclaiming your emotional freedom.

Join the Free Class: End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships That Last
Learn how to stop walking on eggshells and start creating secure, respectful connection with your adult child—without losing yourself in the process.

Rate + Review the Podcast:

If this episode spoke to you, would you take a moment to rate and review the podcast? Your feedback helps others find these healing conversations.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 180: How Your Nervous System Shapes Reactions, Relationships, and Resilience with Leah Davidson

Have you ever wondered why pausing before reacting feels impossible for you? Why do your automatic responses keep hijacking your intentions, especially with the people you love most?

In this powerful conversation, Tina is joined by Leah Davidson, a Nervous System Resilience Coach, life coach, and Speech Language Pathologist with over 26 years working in traumatic brain injury. Leah explains how our nervous system is running the show behind the scenes, shaping our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and relationships – often without us realizing it.

Together, they explore:

• Why your nervous system reacts as if you’re in danger even when you’re safe
• How childhood experiences shape your nervous system’s lens today
• The connection between nervous system regulation, health, and emotional well-being
• Real-life examples of how dysregulation shows up in families and relationships
• How to build nervous system resilience so you can pause, respond thoughtfully, and heal intergenerational patterns

“Your nervous system is the lens through which you see the world. If that lens is cloudy, it affects everything you do.” – Leah Davidson

About Today’s Guest – Leah Davidson

Leah Davidson is a Nervous System Resilience Coach and Speech Language Pathologist specializing in brain health, neuroplasticity, emotional well-being, and trauma-informed coaching. She hosts the Building Resilience Podcast and offers Advanced Nervous System Resilience Training, a monthly membership called Connections, and her mini-membership Nervous System Journaling Club that uses journaling and doodling as regulation tools.

Explore Leah’s resources:

• Nervous System Journaling Club
• Connections Membership
• Advanced Nervous System Training
• Resilient Brilliance Journals on Amazon

Upcoming Training: END FAMILY DISCONNECTION AND REBUILD RELATIONSHIPS THAT LAST

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR THE EVENT

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 179 - Break the Cycle and Lead Your Family with Calm, Loving Energy and Personal Integrity

You don’t have to repeat the patterns you were raised with.

Whether you're parenting toddlers, teens, or adult children, this powerful season opener will help you step into a new kind of leadership in your family—one rooted in calm, love, and integrity.

Tina Gosney shares why unprocessed emotions get acted out in parenting, how every family member is living their own version of the story, and what it really means to become the cycle-breaker in your family. This episode will shift the way you see your role—and help you start showing up as the parent your child needs and the person you want to be.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why staying calm as a parent is so hard—and why it matters
• What it means to “act out what you don’t process”
• How every family member experiences the same home differently
• The difference between reacting, fixing, and leading with love
• Why perfectionism blocks connection—and what to do instead
• How intergenerational trauma shows up in parenting
• The first steps to becoming the parent who breaks the cycle

Free Live Training – Save Your Seat Now!
Join Tina for a 2-day immersive experience:

End Family Disconnection and Create Relationships That Last

You’ll learn how to:

• Stay connected to yourself, even when parenting is hard
• Respond calmly and clearly in the most triggering moments
• Regulate your nervous system and stay grounded under pressure
• Build authentic, emotionally anchored relationships with your children
• End the cycle of walking on eggshells and begin creating real, lasting change

Register here: CLICK HERE TO REGISTER
Limited spots available!

Share this episode with a parent you love.
And if this spoke to you, leave a rating and review—it helps others find the support they need to become the kind of parent who truly leads the family with love.

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

You're Not Broken - You're Becoming (Season 5 Trailer)

Welcome to a brand-new season of Coaching Your Family Relationships! In this kickoff episode, Tina shares a vulnerable personal story about spiraling after a difficult conversation with a loved one—and what it taught her about emotional resilience, identity, and the power of curiosity. You’ll learn what to expect this season, including expert guests and real conversations that go deeper than relationship “tips” and tackle the true root of family conflict: how you see yourself. 

If you’ve ever felt stuck in a pattern with your family… if you’ve been trying to “fix” the relationship without feeling any better… or if you’re exhausted from trying harder and getting nowhere—this season will meet you right where you are. 

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• A true story about spiraling after a tough family moment—and what helped Tina come out of it
• Why relationship change doesn’t start with the other person—it starts with you
• The most common stories your brain tells you in conflict (and how wrong they usually are)
• What’s coming this season: guests, topics, and transformational insights
• Why identity—not strategy—is the secret to healing your hardest relationships
• How to get support through Tina’s free 2-day event

Coming Soon!  Free 2-Day Event:

"End Family Disconnection and Rebuild Relationships That Last"
This live, immersive experience will give you tools, clarity, and hope to transform how you show up in your family—starting with YOU.
Registration link coming soon!
 
Don’t miss an episode! Be sure to follow the show and set your app to automatically download new episodes.
 

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.