The Complex Trauma Podcast

Complex Trauma and the Belief That You're a Burden


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Do you feel guilty every time you need something, even from people who love you? Do you find it easy to show up for everyone else but nearly impossible to let someone show up for you?

If so, this episode is for you.

In episode 135, I explore the belief that you are a burden. Not as a passing thought, but as a felt sense in the body that gets activated the moment you need something from another person.

I break down where this pattern might come from developmentally, how it shows up differently across attachment styles, and why receiving care can feel more threatening than giving it. I also cover the body-based signature of shame, why you might not reach out until things are really bad, and how to start telling the difference between what you actually feel and what's actually true.

If you've ever deleted a text asking for help, felt sick after reaching out, or wondered whether you're actually a burden or just convinced you are, this one's going to hit close to home.

In this episode:

  •  The developmental roots of feeling like a burden
  •  Why giving feels safe and receiving feels threatening
  •  How attachment tendencies shape the way this shows up for you
  •  The body's role in shame and why connection sometimes can't get in
  •  A reflection and a small practice to try this week

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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The Complex Trauma PodcastBy Sarah Herstich

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