Betrayal doesn't just hurt. 

It rewires your nervous system, shakes your ability to trust yourself, and makes you question everything you thought you knew about your relationship. 

In this episode, Joe Sanok shares what happened when his marriage ended suddenly on an RV trip, how he navigated the shock of becoming an unexpected single dad, and what it actually took to rebuild his life without replaying the same patterns.

Joe talks openly about waking up in a camper next to someone who was already gone, the nervous system chaos that followed, and why he built a "support committee" instead of white-knuckling his way through alone. 

We also get into dating after betrayal, how to show up for yourself when everything feels uncertain, and what it looks like to trust again without abandoning the parts of you that are still healing.

This conversation is for anyone who's been blindsided by betrayal, anyone who's had to rebuild their sense of safety from the ground up, or anyone who's wondered if they'll ever feel solid in a relationship again.

Topics covered:

• What betrayal trauma does to your nervous system
• How Joe's marriage ended and what the early days looked like
• Why building a support committee matters more than going it alone
• Dating after betrayal without repeating the same patterns
• Learning to trust yourself again after your judgment feels broken
• How to parent through your own crisis
• Rebuilding safety in your body and relationships

Download Joe's new book: Dating After Betrayal: A Guided Healing and Re-Entry Experience here.

Listen to Joe's podcast, Practice of the Practice on Apple or Spotify

Learn more about Joe's Consulting Services

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

What if forgetting your childhood, feeling disconnected from your emotions, or experiencing different "versions" of yourself weren't signs that something's wrong with you, but evidence of how brilliantly your brain protected you?

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Janina Fisher, one of the leading experts on trauma and dissociation, to unpack what dissociation actually is and why it's a survival response, not a pathology. We talk about why so many people say "I had a good childhood" even when they can barely remember it, what's really happening when you lose time or feel like different parts take over, and how understanding your parts can change everything about how you heal.

Dr. Fischer breaks down her Trauma-Informed Stabilization Treatment (TIST) model and explains why chasing "safety" might be the wrong goal if you've never known what safety feels like. This conversation gets real about fight parts, attached parts, and why noticing what's happening inside you matters more than remembering every detail of what happened to you.

If you've ever felt fragmented, disconnected, or like parts of you don't quite fit together, this episode will help you see yourself through a completely different lens.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

This episode is a bit different. If it's not for you, that's okay.

Right now, a lot of us are struggling. The anxiety that won't quit, the rage that scares you, the numbness that makes you wonder what's wrong with you, the exhaustion that feels bone-deep. You're not overreacting. Your nervous system is responding to real threat.

In this episode, we talk about what happens in your body when threat is ongoing and there's no clear way to resolve it. We look at vicarious trauma, suppressed anger, grief that doesn't feel like sadness, and the shame of struggling when you think you should be stronger.

If you're trying to figure out how to care without being destroyed by it, how to stay engaged without depleting yourself completely, this one's for you.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

In this episode, I sit down with Cassidy DuHadway, author of "Becoming Me," to talk about religious trauma as complex trauma. We dig into how growing up in systems that demand you not be yourself creates deep attachment wounds, shame spirals, and an outsourcing of your internal knowing.

Cassidy breaks down what religious trauma actually is, how it shows up in adult relationships, and why leaving or deconstructing your faith creates such profound grief and identity loss. We talk about the cost of purity culture, the weight of intergenerational patterns, and what it takes to rebuild when everything you knew gets questioned.

This conversation is for anyone who's felt the quiet pressure to conform, who's carried shame that never quite made sense, or who's grieving what could have been if they'd had different choices earlier in life.

About Cassidy DuHadway: Cassidy DuHadway, LCSW, is a trauma therapist, EMDR Approved Trainer, and author of "Becoming Me: Unraveling and Healing the Sacred Wounds of Religious Trauma." She specializes in complex trauma and emotional neglect and is the CEO of Purple Sky Counseling in Utah.

Connect with Cassidy:

• Follow Cassidy on Instagram: @therapywithcassidy
• Check out her website: cassidyduhadway.com
• Purchase her book: "Becoming Me: Unraveling and Healing The Sacred Wounds of Religious Trauma
• Learn more about her Utah therapy practice and work with her team: Purple Sky Counseling

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

"What counts as a trigger for CPTSD? And why do I get triggered by everyday stuff that shouldn't feel threatening?"

If you've ever found yourself completely activated by something that seems small to everyone else (a text message, a tone of voice, someone's silence), this episode is for you.

I'm breaking down what triggers actually are in complex trauma, why your body responds to threat cues that your conscious mind doesn't recognize, and what to do when you feel like you're walking around with an invisible tripwire system.

What we cover:

Why triggers are often reminders of a state rather than a specific event

The neuroscience behind why your body can hold trauma even when you don't have clear memories

How to tell the difference between being triggered and being overloaded

Seven practical steps to work with your triggers without turning life into a self-monitoring project

Why the whole "I shouldn't be triggered because I don't remember anything" mindset is keeping you stuck.

Download my FREE Dysregulation Toolkit Here! 

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

What if your anxiety, depression, or chronic overwhelm aren’t personal failures, but the echoes of unprocessed trauma?

In this week’s episode, Sarah sits down with EMDR therapist, consultant, and author Thomas Zimmerman, whose work has shaped how thousands of clinicians around the world approach complex trauma. Together, they unpack what recovery from complex trauma actually looks like and why it’s not about willpower, positive thinking, or pushing through.

You’ll hear Thomas’ refreshingly honest take on:

• Why trauma is “learning that’s not meant to be changed easily”
• How EMDR helps the nervous system update old survival learning
• Why so many survivors struggle to “slow down and notice” (and what to do instead)
• The importance of preparation and resourcing before trauma processing
• How to widen your window of tolerance without getting flooded
• And why, even though recovery takes time, it’s one of the most beautiful acts of self-liberation there is

This conversation is both validating and practical for anyone walking the long, brave path of reclaiming themselves after complex trauma.

Connect with Thomas Zimmerman:

• Book: EMDR with Complex Trauma
• YouTube: Thomas Zimmerman EMDR
• His website: Thomas Zimmerman EMDR
  
  

Connect with Sarah & Reclaim Therapy:

• https://www.yourcomplextrauma.com
• Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 
• Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw
• Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

It's New Year's Eve, and if you're feeling anything other than excited, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.

This isn't your typical "new year, new you" pep talk. It's for the trauma survivors who are exhausted by the pressure to transform, who feel like they're failing because they didn't have some massive breakthrough this year, or who are just relieved the dumpster fire of 2025 is over.

In this episode, I talk about why New Year's can be so hard when you're healing from complex trauma, why your nervous system doesn't care about artificial timelines, and what actually supports healing (spoiler: it's not punishing yourself into productivity).

I also get real about my own year, what I'm hoping for in 2026, and the moment I realized I've been so busy overfunctioning that I don't even have hobbies.

Plus, a sneak peek at what's coming in 2026: narcissism in families, religious trauma, emotional neglect, dissociation, and betrayal trauma.

Whatever you're feeling tonight, it's allowed. You're allowed to be exactly where you are.

Happy New Year.

...

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

That weird week between the holidays and New Year's hits different. You've survived the holiday chaos, the family dynamics, the endless to-do lists, and now you're supposed to just... exist? 

Enter: the emotional hangover.

In this episode, we break down why that post-holiday crash feels so brutal and what actually helps when you're running on empty.

What We Cover:

• Why 80-90% of adults report increased stress during the holidays (and why the crash afterwards is inevitable)
• The real reason that week between Christmas and New Year's feels like floating through space
• How family dynamics amplify emotional exhaustion (hello, suddenly being 12 years old again)
• Five practical ways to take care of yourself when you're emotionally hungover
• Why grief shows up in unexpected ways during this season
• How to honor your actual capacity instead of pushing through

Key Takeaways: Research shows more than half of adults need weeks to feel regulated after the holidays. If you're crashed on the couch questioning everything, you're recovering. That's what your nervous system is supposed to do.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

You set a boundary. They ignored it. You repeated yourself. They pushed again. And by the fourth time, you weren't calmly redirecting anymore, you were yelling, crying, or walking out. Now you're sitting with shame, wondering if all that therapy was pointless.

In this episode, I answer a listener question about what to do when family members repeatedly violate your boundaries during holiday gatherings. I talk about what's actually happening in your body when boundaries get crossed (spoiler: you're not choosing to lose your temper, you're in a survival response), why family systems resist your boundaries so hard, and the difference between a boundary and a request (this one's huge).

In this episode, we cover:

• What happens in your nervous system when boundaries get violated repeatedly
• Why your family pushes back so hard when you start setting limits
• The difference between boundaries and requests (and why this matters)
• How family roles (peacekeeper, scapegoat, parentified child) affect boundary violations
• Six practical strategies to protect yourself at Christmas gatherings
• What to do if you lose your temper again (because it might happen)
• Why losing your temper doesn't erase your healing work

Resources mentioned:

Free Dysregulation SOS Toolkit

Have a question for the podcast?

Head to www.yourcomplextrauma.com/contact to record your question. We only share with your permission.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

If family gatherings leave you feeling drained or like you're reverting to an old version of yourself, you're not alone. EMDR therapist and yoga teacher, Abby Albright, returns to discuss the invisible rules governing dysfunctional family systems and how they intensify during the holidays.

We explore six categories of unspoken family rules: emotional (don't feel, don't be sad), need-based (don't need anything), relational (don't rock the boat, don't outshine anyone), role-based, loyalty (protect the family image), and safety rules. These aren't written anywhere, but they live in our bodies and shape how we show up.

Abby shares how these patterns create physical tension, why breaking invisible rules feels scary, and practical ways to find choice within challenging family dynamics. We talk about being a pattern breaker and giving yourself permission to show up differently, even in small ways.

What You'll Learn:

• How to recognize the six types of invisible family rules
• Why family gossip reinforces dysfunctional patterns
• The gap between family image and reality
• Small ways to practice choice during difficult gatherings
• When to lean into curiosity vs. contain awareness

Check out Abby's Therapeutic Yoga offerings here

For more on dysfunctional family dynamics around the holidays, tune into:

Family Dysfunction: What It Is and What To Do With It

Dysfunctional Family Dynamics & The Holidays

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.