The Complex Trauma Podcast

Everyone has parts. So how do you know when a part is just a part of you, and when it's crossed into a dissociative disorder like OSDD or DID?

This episode came from a listener healing from CPTSD who just found out she has a dissociative disorder. She asked two questions a lot of trauma survivors are carrying. How common are dissociative disorders in trauma survivors? And with parts work like IFS so popular right now, where's the line between ordinary parts and dissociation?

So we're walking the whole dissociative spectrum, from the drive home you don't remember to PTSD, complex PTSD, OSDD, and DID. We'll talk about what clinicians who specialize in dissociation might actually pay attention to, why "not me" matters so much, and why not losing time doesn't rule anything out. 

In this episode:

• Why "dissociation" means two different things, even to professionals
• Structural dissociation, explained in plain language
• How common dissociative disorders really are, and why they're so often missed
• Six things that help separate everyday parts from dissociative parts
• "Am I making this up?" and other fears that come up
• Why a diagnosis is a map, not an identity
• What healing can look like, including goals your system gets a say in

This episode is for education, not diagnosis. If something here feels familiar, bring it to a therapist trained in trauma and dissociation.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der Hart
• My conversation with Dr. Janina Fisher on dissociative parts
• My dissociation Q and A episode
• Last week's episode, "Why Do I Want Two Opposite Things at the Same Time?"

This episode's sponsor: Cozy Earth. Get 30% off home and sleepwear at cozyearth.com with code RECLAIM, through Sunday, October 11.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Why can you feel lonely and then want everyone to leave you alone, or set a boundary and immediately want to take it back? Today, I explore why conflicting parts and contradictory responses can feel especially intense after complex trauma, drawing from parts work, attachment research, fear learning, and Somatic Experiencing.

You’ll hear why missing someone doesn’t mean the relationship was safe, why guilt doesn’t prove a boundary was wrong, and how the body can move toward something while also putting on the brakes. The goal isn’t to decide which response is the “real you,” but to understand what each one expects, protects, or needs.

The question to take with you: how much might be right for me right now?

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

How do you grieve a childhood you never had? If you grew up with childhood emotional neglect, you may have heard that grief is part of complex trauma recovery and still have no idea what you're supposed to be grieving, or what that grief is supposed to feel like.

This episode is built around a listener's question. She grew up without much affection, remembers wanting it, and came to believe that needing it meant she wasn't growing up properly. Decades later, she's wondering whether she has anything to grieve, and whether feeling sad about it is selfish.

We talk through how the grief of emotional neglect works when nothing specific "happened," why you often only recognize the loss through contrast, and why receiving care now can sometimes make you feel worse before it feels better.

In this episode:

• Why the grief of childhood emotional neglect is hard to locate, and how a point of comparison can suddenly make it visible
• What you're actually grieving when you never had the thing
• Why grief can feel like self-pity, and what "my childhood was good overall" might be protecting you from
• What this grief can look like, including anger, envy, numbness, disbelief, and trying harder with the parent you still have
• Why a partner's hug or a therapist's kindness can make your body brace, and how to read that response
• Memory reconsolidation, and how receiving care now may update old emotional learning
• Why you don't have to go looking for grief or perform it correctly
• What grieving can look like in actual life, without turning it into a checklist
• Whether accepting a parent's limitations means giving up on the relationship
• When grief gets too big, and what to bring to your therapist

This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth! I’m so excited to have them supporting The Complex Trauma Podcast. Head to Cozy Earth and use code RECLAIM for 20% off your order.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

What happens when you grow up learning that someone else’s needs, emotions, or version of reality matter more than your own?

In this episode, I’m joined by Amy Marlow-MaCoy, MEd, LPC, to talk about narcissistic abuse and its relationship to complex trauma. We unpack narcissistic family systems, gaslighting and DARVO, the roles children can take on in these families, and why survivors may struggle with self-trust, perfectionism, overfunctioning, guilt, and boundaries long after childhood.

We also talk about what happens when you begin changing these patterns, the complexity of low and no contact, and what it can look like to rebuild a relationship with yourself after years of learning to question your own experience. 

About Amy

Amy Marlow-MaCoy, MEd, LPC, is an internationally known clinician and trainer specializing in gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, and complex developmental and relational trauma. She is the author of The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook and co-author of The Clinician’s Guide to Treating Adult Children of Narcissists. Amy is also the founder of The Courageous Heart Institute, a learning community for clinicians specializing in treating survivors of narcissistic abuse.

Amy has advanced training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, Brainspotting, and other trauma treatment approaches, and provides therapy, consultation, supervision, and continuing education for clinicians working with narcissistic abuse and complex relational trauma.

Follow Amy on Instagram and Facebook!

Check out her website here

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

You’re functioning. You may even be the person everyone relies on. But inside, you feel stuck, distant, or like you aren’t fully there for your own life.

In this episode, I'm answering a listener’s question: Is functional freeze actually real, or is it something the internet picked up and oversimplified?

We explore what trauma clinicians mean by functional freeze, why it isn’t a formal diagnosis, and how mixed patterns of activation and shutdown can make you look capable while everything inside feels stalled. I also explain why functional freeze and dissociation aren’t interchangeable and why difficulty getting started can have many possible contributors, including complex trauma, chronic stress, depression, ADHD, exhaustion, and executive-function challenges.

You’ll also learn:

• Why you may mobilize instantly during a crisis but struggle to begin a simple task
• How childhood emotional neglect and complex trauma can give you more practice responding to others than initiating from within yourself
• Why urgency, pressure, and responsibility may organize you more easily than desire
• Why stopping doesn’t always make rest feel restorative
• How small choices, movement, pleasure, and everyday acts of agency can help build greater nervous-system flexibility

Functional freeze can be useful language for a real experience. But it was never meant to become the whole explanation for you.

This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth! I’m so excited to have them supporting The Complex Trauma Podcast. Head to Cozy Earth and use code RECLAIM for 20% off your order.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

You finally understand something about yourself. Something that took months of therapy to even name. And now you need someone else to get it too.

This week we're talking about that longing, where it comes from, why it can feel so urgent with certain people, and what happens in your body when the conversation doesn't go the way you hoped. We'll cover emotional flashbacks, the fight flight freeze fawn response, and the difference between being understood and being agreed with. Plus, what's actually yours to hold onto when someone doesn't meet you where you're at.

This episode is for anyone who has ever tried to explain their trauma response to a friend, a partner, or a family member and walked away feeling more alone instead of less.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Why can you handle a crisis without blinking but completely blank when someone asks what you want for dinner?

Brain fog, forgetfulness, trouble focusing, difficulty starting tasks, and executive dysfunction can all show up alongside complex trauma. But “trauma changed your brain” is a much more complicated story than the internet often makes it sound.

In this episode of The Complex Trauma Podcast, we’re breaking down what may actually be happening when your brain feels scattered, slow, forgetful, or wildly inconsistent.

Instead of another tour of the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, we’re looking at three things that can help make sense of cognitive struggles after trauma: priority, capacity, and access.

We’ll talk about how trauma can shape what gets your attention, how rumination, hypervigilance, perfectionism, and people-pleasing can take up cognitive bandwidth, and why memory, focus, and decision-making may change depending on stress, dissociation, and emotional context.

We’ll also unpack working memory, processing speed, executive functioning, the overlap between ADHD and trauma, and why being incredibly capable doesn’t mean your brain won’t struggle sometimes.

Because maybe the better question isn’t “What’s wrong with my brain?”

It’s “What is my brain trying to do right now?”

This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth! I’m so excited to have them supporting The Complex Trauma Podcast. Head to Cozy Earth and use code RECLAIM for 20% off your order.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Maybe you barely remember your childhood. Maybe you've done years of trauma work, you're finally feeling better, and now you're wondering, was it really that bad? Did I make it all up?

This episode is about trauma, memory, and self-trust. 

Why memory isn't a recording, why gaps and fragments don't prove or disprove anything, why healing itself can create distance from a memory, and why I don't remember doesn't have to become I can't trust myself.

You don't have to make yourself hurt again to prove that you once hurt 🧡.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

This week's episode is  a little different. Instead of something super polished, I'm giving you the real time version of my own messy middle. What dysregulation actually feels like in my body right now, why regulation isn't the absence of activation, and what's actually helping me stay steady in a hard season of my life, from a walk around the block to finally asking for help.

If you're a complex trauma survivor in your own hard season, this one's for you. It's okay to lower a standard, ask for the help, and let the tears come if they want to come.

Grab the free Dysregulation Toolkit, an interactive tool with real techniques for whatever you're feeling in the moment here

If you haven't listened to the episode about why nervous system regulation can feel impossible with CPTSD, tune in here. 

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Why does connection feel so hard after complex trauma?

You want closeness, but when someone gets too close, you pull away.

You want support, but "I'm fine" comes out before you've even thought about it.

You want to trust people, yet asking for help, receiving kindness, or staying present during conflict can feel surprisingly difficult.

If you've ever wondered why relationships feel so complicated after childhood trauma or emotional neglect, this episode is for you.

Today, we're exploring how your earliest relationships taught your nervous system what to expect from connection and why those expectations can continue shaping your adult relationships long after childhood is over.

Rather than focusing on attachment styles we'll look at the relational experiences that teach us whether it's safe to have needs, depend on others, receive care, repair after conflict, and be fully ourselves in relationship.

We'll also talk about:

•  Why receiving help can feel uncomfortable 
•  Hyper-independence and why depending on others feels so risky 
•  Why conflict can feel like the end of the relationship 
•  People-pleasing and the fear of authenticity 
•  The difference between managing relationships and actually experiencing them 
•  Why you can still love people who hurt you 
•  The difference between love and emotional capacity 
•  Grieving the relationship you needed but may never have 
•  How healing happens through new relational experiences 

If you've ever felt like your nervous system wants connection while another part of you is pulling away, I hope this episode helps you understand why.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.