The Complex Trauma Podcast

What is the real impact of growing up with emotionally immature parents? Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of the bestselling Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, joins the show to explain what it costs a child over decades, and how to parent differently.

In this conversation, we get into:

• What actually makes a parent emotionally immature
• Why the love can be real and the harm can be real at the same time
• What this can cost a child over years, including a shaken sense of trust in their own perception of reality
• What a healthy relationship with an emotionally immature parent can look like in adulthood
• The fear so many carry, that we'll become our parents, and why Lindsay says that fear itself might be a good sign
• The four essential jobs of parenting: protection, nurturance, guidance, and limits
• Her seven parental mindsets for maturity, and the chapter she calls The Absolutes

Dr. Gibson's new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child, is out now. Order a copy on Amazon or Barnes and Noble

Find her at lindsaycgibson.com and on Instagram @dr.lindsaygibson.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

If you've ever caught yourself wondering who you actually are underneath the anxiety, the people pleasing, or the version of you that shows up to keep everyone else comfortable, this episode is for you.

I break down what a sense of self actually is, why complex trauma gets in the way of building one, and what it looks like to start forming it now, as an adult. That means looking at three capacities trauma tends to disrupt: knowing yourself, expressing yourself, and experiencing yourself, and a few grounded, body-based ways to start reconnecting with each one.

In this episode:

• What a sense of self actually is, and why it's built through experience, not something you're born with fully formed
• Why survival responses like fight, flight, freeze, or fawning aren't fixed personality traits, they're predictions your nervous system learned to keep you safe
• The three capacities complex trauma most often disrupts: knowing yourself, expressing yourself, and experiencing yourself
• Why healing this is often less about finding yourself and more about forming yourself

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Sometimes a hobby amplifies whatever relationship your nervous system has with uncertainty.

If you've ever found yourself staring at a blank page, putting off a creative project, or feeling tense doing something that's supposed to be relaxing, this episode is for you.

Today we're exploring why perfectionism can turn creativity into a performance, how complex trauma changes our relationship with uncertainty, and why your hobbies may feel more like a test than a source of joy.

We'll talk about the connection between self-worth and perfectionism, predictive processing, why healing in relationships doesn't always translate to creative expression, and gentle somatic practices to help your nervous system reconnect with curiosity and play.

Whether your "painting" is art, writing, dancing, cooking, starting a business, or trying something new, this episode will help you understand why perfectionism runs much deeper than wanting to get it right.

It might just be your nervous system trying to make sure you still belong.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

If you've ever wondered why insight alone hasn't been enough to heal your trauma, this episode is your answer. We're going all the way back to fundamentals with a real somatic therapy 101, covering what somatic therapy actually is, how the nervous system holds onto trauma, and why healing from CPTSD requires more than just understanding your story.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why trauma is a biological response, not just a psychological one (and what that means for your healing)
• The actual definition of somatic therapy, and the myths the internet keeps getting wrong
• A quick look at nervous system states: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal, and why they matter for complex trauma specifically
• What your window of tolerance is, and why it can narrow over time
• Titration and pendulation: how somatic therapists help your body approach painful material safely
• How parts work (Internal Family Systems) connects directly to your nervous system states
• Why EMDR is a somatic therapy, not just "the eye movement thing"
• A nuanced conversation about The Body Keeps the Score and where current research agrees and pushes back

Whether you're a trauma survivor trying to understand your own healing, or a fellow therapist looking for a clear, clinically grounded refresher, this episode is built to meet you where you are.

Mentioned in this episode:
Fawning as a Trauma Response episode
Inner Child Healing and Reparenting episode

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Ever been called controlling? Too rigid? Too much? On today's episode I breaks down why it was maybe never about control. Your nervous system has maybe been trying to answer one question this whole time: am I safe?

This episode covers the real reason behind reassurance seeking, perfectionism, hypervigilance, overthinking, and food rules, and why none of it is a character flaw. Using research on predictive processing and a concept called precision weighting from EMDR therapist Thomas Zimmerman, Sarah explains why your brain keeps choosing the old danger prediction even when you're safe right now. And why understanding alone won't change it.

In this episode:

•  Why control was never the real issue
•  What your body's been telling you
•  Why reassurance works for five minutes and then stops
•  What precision weighting is and why it matters
•  What healing actually requires instead

Listen to Thomas Zimmerman's episode on The Beauty and the Work of Complex Trauma here

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Emotional flashbacks are one of the most common and most misunderstood experiences in complex trauma. Unlike visual flashbacks, they don't come with images or a clear memory. They arrive as intense feelings, shame, fear, loneliness, helplessness, often with no story attached and no warning.

In this episode, Sarah breaks down what emotional flashbacks actually are. You'll learn why insight alone doesn't change the nervous system's predictions, what's happening in your body when each survival part gets activated, and what healing actually requires at the level of the body.

In this episode:

• What emotional flashbacks are and why they're so hard to catch
• How implicit memory keeps the past alive in the present
• The four Fs and how each survival part feels in the body
• Why understanding your trauma isn't the same as healing it
• What ideal caregiver work looks like in trauma therapy
• A simple practice for when the wave hits

Resources mentioned:

• Emotionally Corrective Experiences episode 
• Understanding Dissociative Parts with Dr. Janina Fisher 
• Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Do you feel guilty every time you need something, even from people who love you? Do you find it easy to show up for everyone else but nearly impossible to let someone show up for you?

If so, this episode is for you.

In episode 135, I explore the belief that you are a burden. Not as a passing thought, but as a felt sense in the body that gets activated the moment you need something from another person.

I break down where this pattern might come from developmentally, how it shows up differently across attachment styles, and why receiving care can feel more threatening than giving it. I also cover the body-based signature of shame, why you might not reach out until things are really bad, and how to start telling the difference between what you actually feel and what's actually true.

If you've ever deleted a text asking for help, felt sick after reaching out, or wondered whether you're actually a burden or just convinced you are, this one's going to hit close to home.

In this episode:

•  The developmental roots of feeling like a burden
•  Why giving feels safe and receiving feels threatening
•  How attachment tendencies shape the way this shows up for you
•  The body's role in shame and why connection sometimes can't get in
•  A reflection and a small practice to try this week

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Many complex trauma survivors struggle to trust their memories, emotions, perceptions, and reactions. 

In this episode, we're exploring why being disbelieved can feel so painful, how emotional neglect and attachment wounds can teach us to question ourselves, and why trauma often leaves us with fragments of memory instead of a clear narrative.

We discuss:

 • Why not being believed can feel abandoning
 • How self-doubt becomes a survival strategy
 • Trauma memory and fragmentation
 • Why emotional neglect can be difficult to identify
 • The connection between CPTSD, self-trust, and attachment
 • How to begin rebuilding trust in yourself

Whether you struggle with childhood emotional neglect, emotionally immature parents, dissociation, hypervigilance, people pleasing, perfectionism, or chronic self-doubt, this episode will help you understand why trusting yourself can feel so difficult, and how healing begins.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Emotional loneliness is one of the most common and least talked about experiences in complex trauma recovery. It's not about the number of people in your life. It's about whether your nervous system has learned to let them in. And for a lot of survivors, it hasn't. Not because something is permanently wrong with you, but because your nervous system learned some very specific things about connection a long time ago.

In this episode, I break down some of the neuroscience and nervous system mechanics behind emotional loneliness in CPTSD, why it runs so much deeper than social isolation, and what actually helps.

In this episode:

• Why emotional loneliness and social isolation are not the same thing, and why adding more people to your life won't fix the second one
• The push-pull cycle so many survivors live in, desperately wanting connection and pulling back the moment someone gets close
• How emotional neglect specifically creates a loneliness that's hard to name because the wound is in what didn't happen, not what did
• Why hyperindependence is often a nervous system adaptation, not a personality trait
• The role of the HPA axis and oxytocin in why connection can feel physically threatening even when you want it
• How shame creates concealment, and how concealment sustains loneliness in a cycle that's hard to break
• What dissociation and hypervigilance have to do with why connection doesn't land even when it's right in front of you
• Why healing often makes loneliness feel worse before it gets better, and what that actually means
• What capacity building looks like when the goal is learning to receive connection, not just find it

Resources that might support you:

Episode 126: The Inner Critic with Emily Pagone

Episode 127: Attunement and Rupture in the Clinical Relationship with Katie Fries

Episode 128: Fawning as a Trauma Response

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Sleep is one of the most common struggles in the CPTSD community, and one of the least understood. If you've tried the routines, the supplements, the magnesium, the blue light glasses, and you're still lying awake at midnight or waking up at 3am feeling like something is wrong, this episode is for you.

Today I break down why sleep is uniquely hard when you have complex trauma, what's actually happening in your nervous system at night, and what might actually help. 

In this episode:

• Why sleep requires felt safety and why that's so hard with CPTSD
• The two ends of the sleep struggle spectrum: can't fall asleep vs. sleeps but never feels rested
• Hypervigilance at night and why the quiet, dark room can become the trigger
• Nightmares as attempted processing and what's actually getting in the way
• The IFS lens: the protectors, managers, and exiles running the show at night
• Why parts work is nervous system work
• Sleep hygiene that actually makes sense for a dysregulated nervous system
• Somatic tools to try before bed and when you wake up at 3am

References:

Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. Norton.

Balban, M. Y., Neri, E., Kogon, M. M., Weed, L., Nourski, B., Picard, M., ... & Huberman, A. D. (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine, 4(1).

Southwick, S. M., Bremner, J. D., Rasmusson, A., Morgan, C. A., Arnsten, A., & Charney, D. S. (1999). Role of norepinephrine in the pathophysiology and treatment of posttraumatic stress disorder. Biological Psychiatry, 46(9), 1192–1204.

Yehuda, R. (2002). Post-traumatic stress disorder. New England Journal of Medicine, 346(2), 108–114.

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.

Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw 

Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw

Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.