Composed

Composed

By Chase BernsteinComedyStand-UpLeisure
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Composed episodes

  • A Very Croissant Christmas

    Slipping into the new year equipped with Super Duolingo, and two days of French under my belt... truly a high like no other. A tiktok shop hesitation, a free croissant from Starbucks, plus a Pinkberry Rite/Aid dissertation. Typing this having read 46 books last year and sans a shred of jewelry, you'll understand soon enough. 

    44 min
  • Sourcreamless Latke Bite

    I've recovered from an illness just in time to enjoy the exotic festivities of Hanukkah as well as partake in an unhinged bagel exchange whilst knee deep into a migraine. The aforementioned carbohydrates undoubtedly gave me the fuel I needed to cover such topics as: Going to a party alone, a candle miscalculation, and a vicious tirade against footnotes and technology. They say people start slowing down in December, which is funny... because I'm just starting to ramp up. 

     

    40 min
  • An Ode To Zelle

    Sipping a glass of frothy chocolate milk, as I put the finishing touches on episode 140, in which Black Friday is ripped to shreds, my digital vision board is live, a sub par Thanksgiving salad plus "the vanilla to end all vanillas." Don't fight it. 

    35 min
  • A Pre Thanksgiving Offer

    What am I grateful for? Well, let's see... I'm grateful to be celebrating my one year Duolingo anniversary, I'm grateful for the woman at the grocery store who was on my level, and I'm grateful for my hair length epiphany. What I'm not grateful for is the fact that I was never a camp counselor, that I don't actively own a clipboard, and Nikola Jokic being ejected before halftime of the Nuggets Pistons game. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, please pass the crescent rolls. 

    23 min
  • 48 Days and 48 Nights

    By the time you read this there will be 47 days left in the calendar year, and unlike Marie Condo, we're not jumping ship. Rather, we're emulating the Nuggets in their jaw dropping win over the New Orleans Pelicans last week. If the Pelicans weren't on the endangered species list, they're all but extinct now. Typing this with the freshest hair trim this side of the Mississippi... the other side as well.

     

     

    28 min
  • A Pack of Dolphins Etc.

    Halloween etiquette, a car wash, a dog at the door, a fabric shaver, John Steinbeck, dolphins, turtles and my dad's Barnes and Noble gift card... which of these things don't belong? Trick question, they all do, to episode 137. Enjoy. 

     

    29 min
  • COMPOSED - Trailer

    Comedian Chase Bernstein tackles the minutiae of everyday life in a stream of consciousness filled with humor, observation and a splash of rage. While we love to think life is defined by the big events, ultimately it's the trips to CVS, Trader Joe's, and the special yet forgotten interactions in between that comprise our days. Chase is here to celebrate the subtleties through a genuine and hilarious lens. As one listener put it, "What's the show about? Nothing. Everything. Wow." While another said, "This podcast is ridiculous and I cannot stop listening!" So what do you have to lose? Nothing. Everything. 

    1 min
  • Classic Nightmare

    This week's installment was recorded with extra eyelashes from my sister's wedding, a place where my mom lost an earring... or did she? All this plus, doing things poolside, nightmares and corn pancakes. Honestly unreal I'm still recording episodes. 

     

     

    30 min
  • Live From My Dad's Gazebo

    Recording episode 134 from the depths of my dad's gazebo, sans my glass coffee table (you'll understand soon enough) was not for the faint of heart. Then again neither were the topics touched upon: an excruciating post office experience, surprise parties plus a recounted Trader Joe's interaction that will leave you shaken. 

     

    39 min

About Composed

From the publisher's feed

Chase Bernstein tackles the minutiae of everyday life through a stream of consciousness filled bursting with humor, subtlety and passion. 

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