"I thought of her with each miscarriage I saw in COVID+ mothers, and during each delivery of premature rupture of membranes due to infection. I thought of her every time I gave steroids, increased the oxygen flow for someone struggling to breathe, or held the hand of someone before their emergency delivery. I saw her face when I was frantically calling a pulmonologist to help me manage oxygen on a deteriorating patient on the unit. She stayed with me through each obstetric emergency.

She probably never thought of me. I was the doctor who made her cry when she was most excited to tell me that she wanted children.

I don’t know if she’ll be back, and I don’t know if I am better or worse at explaining the urgency. All I know is that we all make choices. With COVID, some choices will save lives, whereas other choices might end with the unimaginable."

Yuliya Malayev is an obstetrician-gynecologist.

She shares her story and discusses her KevinMD article, "What does it even mean to work through the unimaginable?"

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