Is there tension in your relationship when you talk about your finances? This audio is part 1 of 2 in addressing the issues of money in a household.

Tapping for financial tension with your partner is part 2 of this series

Chapters

0:00 Introduction

1:16 Tapping in next video

1:31 What is your relationship with money?

1:48 Income associations

2:40 Spending associations

3:32 Debt associations

4:22 What's then root cause?

6:16 Why do we get triggered?

8:26 Conclusion

3 questions to explore

1. What is your relationship with money?

2. What is at the root cause of money issues?

3. What triggers you to get upset with your partner about finances?

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A controlling partner is a reflection of having experienced a controlling parent. And more than likely your partner had a dominating parent too. #controllingpartner #controllingparent

In this video I’m going to get brutally honest with you about why this is happening and we take a look at how to break free from being controlled.

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Being controlled by your partner means not having freedom in some area of your life. Where have you lost your freedom? Is it with money, time or relationships or self expression?

Does your partner control what you spend or who you talk to or how you dress or what you are supposed to be doing with your time or maybe it’s all of the above.

I want you to consider where you felt restrictions before you met your partner. Were you already constrained in these areas? Was someone else or something else, such as society’s rules or your family obligations, already determining how you spend your money or your time or how you present yourself?

You may not have noticed feeling strangled back then but in a romantic relationship the feeling of being controlled is accentuated.

All these restrictions are placed on you - your subconscious mind believes that you cannot change the way they treat you. What’s happened is that you have a filter that the world is not safe and you have attracted a partner who also believes the same thing. They are putting controls in place to make their world feel safer. That means controlling you too, because they can’t trust anything fully. Meanwhile, you can’t trust them fully because of these restrictions they impose on you, so your subconscious filter continues to perpetuate the belief that the world is not a safe place for you.

When you transform this subconscious pattern of betrayal, you create more freedom in your life. Feeling trapped requires a shift in mindset, feeling freedom to express yourself comfortably, to do what feels right for you, and to make the changes you’ve been longing for.

The freer you feel, the less you are trapped in your relationships, in your finances, in your goals, and the greater sense of wellbeing you are able to create for yourself.

Feeling you have freedom is an inside job. When you feel completely free, the world will show up for you as a place where you have complete freedom to create money, create wonderful relationships and create plenty of time for self-care and fun.

In this video I offer a visualisation of how to free your mind and in the next video we will be tapping to be free from a controlling partner.

Why do we seek out sex? What's at play when we think of being sexy? Why is it important to have great orgasms? We answer these questions for your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

We explore sex, sexiness and orgasms: unhealthy reasons for seeking out sex, what it means to really feel sexy daily and why we don't orgasm and why it's important to orgasm.

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Chapters

0:00 Introduction

0:26 Unhealthy reasons for sex

0:54 Sexiness

1:45 Orgasm & spirituality

3:23 Tapping for sexiness and orgasms

#efttapping #tapping

How to heal the feeling of self-loathing or the thought pattern that’s locked in your mind saying “I’m disgusting” or this part of me is disgusting. I’m going to explain how this originated in your childhood, how it plays out in your life and what you can do to release it.

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So where does this voice come from that says "I'm disgusting"

Disgust is a natural response when you want to expel something toxic from your body. But given that you are a wonderful human being why would you feel that about yourself? Well it begins with at childhood when the abuser hurts you.

Your natural feeling is to see their behaviour as disgusting - something toxic to you. But a thought pattern does not get directed one way. Thought patterns infiltrate every area of your life.

As a child being abused you internalised the phrase “to be disgusting”. Your mind took the thought pattern and extended it to all parts of your life and you’ll find a lot of things revolting or unstomachable. Most noticeably you find yourself disgusting. And as a child being abused it’s a valid dialogue. You must be disgusting to deserve being abused. Your psyche has to justify the horrific actions of the perpetrator- so a logical association gets locked in place as though it’s fact. You must be a terrible bad person ie disgusting and that’s why... it’s all these connections in your subconscious mind as you try to understand the world around you.

Lets explore the complications in adult life when this specific dialogue is left Unhealed. As you get older and work on your life Improving your health or your money or your relationships or Your connectivity to all - you find you can’t get it all right. Money gets improved and then your fitness drops off. Then health is improved but now you’re being mean to loved ones. Your relationships improve but now you’ve stopped tending to your spiritual self. This is so that you have a justifiable reason to feel disgusting. Your subconscious get to continue the thought pattern of berating yourself and feeling disgusting

it also means you feel unattractive to people in general not just sexually, like people don't want to hang out with you. you feel undesirable and again not just in your romantic relationship but also to be hired for jobs.

To clear the thought pattern you really need to target the childhood belief that you are unlovable, undeserving of love, repulsive, unacceptable because you keep getting rejected as you are, unwanted, loathsome,

And replace these thoughts with

I am allowing in love, I am deserving of love, I am loveable, I am wanted,

There's always something we wish our husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend did differently. Often it's something small but really annoying. Sometimes is bigger issues like addiction or abuse. Here are practical tools to help you in your relationship.

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Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

0:49 Scenario 1 (low impact)

3:45 Scenario 2 (minor addictions)

5:15 Questions to ask yourself

8:02 Scenario 3 (addictions or abuse)

11:45 Visualisation to create lasting change

14:29 Conclusion

Use this 3 part mini-series to heal being numb https://youtu.be/0EhJEyyzCs4

At the end of the video there is a visualisation that you will be able to recreate by yourself anytime. It will help you to create long lasting change.

Many people have advised the need for you to be vulnerable because of the benefits this has on your intimacy and income. By being vulnerable you open yourself to become closer to people. It creates connection. Connection is good if you want to have deeper relationships.

The concept of being vulnerable is great if you are comfortable with vulnerability. Most people are not, and that’s okay. If you are one of these people, I don’t advise vulnerability because you if you are not used to it then you perceive the act of sharing intimate parts of yourself as expressing your insecurity.

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The expression of insecurity invites people to give their opinion about where you are going wrong and why you have an insecurity. They believe they are helping you by advising you. But it wounds you further because you are already insecure about the topic. So you become resentful and put up bigger barriers.

Vulnerability requires you to trust that the person, who you are expressing your insecurity to, is a safe person that you can confide in. Trust that they are someone who will not judge you, and who will support you.

So how do you overcome this hurdle?

Be highly selective. Choose people that make you feel safe and secure.

There are one or two people that you will be able to trust. you feel safe with them already so be vulnerable with them. It’s easier to expect a good outcome when you are with someone who you know is safe to be around.

For everyone else, enhance your authenticity. Authenticity is a place where you feel comfortable to freely express yourself. Being authentic opens you up to expressing more of who you are.

Because no energy is spent on protecting or guarding yourself, you are free to listen to what they have to say. You can take it on if you like it, or discard it if you don’t. The feeling of safety and security has to come from within. You are way more influential about how people treat you than you know.

Chapters

0:00 Introduction

0:27 The problem with being vulnerable

1:16 How to overcome it

Blame is a destructive learned behaviour that we use as a defence mechanism to protect ourselves from shame or punishment. It is a behaviour we learn as a child to help us cope with the world.

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Chapters

0:00 Introduction

0:23 Why we blame

1:12 The pattern of blame

2:30 The cost of blame

2:58 The circuit breaker

4:03 Conclusion

As an adult we use blame to deflect pain but it has become a normal state of mind to cope with judgement, worry, blame and most significantly to cope with an inferiority complex.

The ability to blame someone else allows us to artificially inflate our ego so that we feel superior to someone.

Blame eats into our day-to-day life because it is a background process using up energy in our subconscious mind as our efficient brain looks out for opportunities to blame other people and find fault with things. Precious energy is spent on blaming and little is left for the enjoyment of living a life we love.

Using a circuit breaker we are able to break the pattern of blame. The key is in noticing that we are blaming something or someone. The hardest part is to ask the question "What am I afraid of?" This helps us to get authentic about what the real problem is. Knowing the real problem gives us clarity and this clarity affords us better solutions than to just blame.

Becoming faster and noticing a blame situation creates new subconscious patterns that stop you midway through a blame game and eventually prevents you from blaming in the first place.

We all have unhealthy thought patterns that play out when we are stressed. We address what an unhealthy pattern looks like, how you can identify one and four great tools to break free from a thought pattern that doesn't serve you.

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Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

0:17 What are unhealthy thought patterns?

0:44 How to identify limiting beliefs

1:47 Tools to break free from unhealthy thought patterns

1:55 Affirmations

3:11 Ask better questions

4:57 Meditation

6:23 Tapping

Learn tapping using this video

https://youtu.be/GJeFM4_7fXo

Stop following conventional wisdom about how to heal your trauma

I'm going to share with you the mistakes i made on my long journey to get to healing my trauma and then I'm going to give you my shortcuts because I bet you've started out with your self-help books and your counselling and of course - shoving it way down deep - but enough about the old me I want you to no longer be a trauma victim or a trauma survivor i want you to simply be the gorgeous being living your best life

Hi i'm Rossanne Clay helping you deliberately create a life you love

3 points to help you attract your perfect partner and as usual at the end of the video we will be tapping to attract your perfect partner.

1. How do you act to attract a prospective partner?

 I hear people asking - do I pretend I'm not interested? do I treat them super nice but then they'll take advantage of me?

There is a lot of anxiety in seeking out a partner working out how to act - it becomes like a hunt. Remember - these are people, not objects - they have thoughts and feelings like you do and are equally as concerned as you are about finding a a partner.

It's so cliche but be yourself - if you are not yourself you will be exhausted in your relationship from having to keep pretending to be someone else

Your next question should be how do I "be myself" when I don't know who I am - great question we can address in another video but for now - do whatever comes naturally to you: join community groups that bring you joy - for example, find an art class or join a basketball team or a trekking group; Doing things that are good for your wellbeing like art, music, exercise and nature, will help you to feel better about yourself and open you up to meeting more like minded people. It might take courage to put yourself out there but it will be worth hit.

Your “hunt” for a partner needs to become a journey of allowing in your ideal partner. The Universe knows you and knows all your wants and deepest desires. Trust in your own abilities to take the best steps towards finding someone and relax into it.

2. How do you look

While it's fun to feel gorgeous and dolled up don't be too concerned about it. You want to attract someone who finds you beautiful just the way you are. don't let movies and tv define what you consider beautiful because you might attract someone superficial. And I have a video I created to help you feel comfortable in your own skin. What you really want is someone who gets you emotionally and intellectually. If you were using your sex appeal to show you are sexually compatible - don't worry because if you develop a relationship where you both feel safe in the bedroom then you'll easily create sexy time play too

3What attitude do I need

If you don't fix up your self-worth then you might attract someone who really doesn't work for you - maybe they love hunting and you're an animal activist or maybe they're married or maybe they are clingy -

Online dating apps causing anxiety there’s a lot of self-judgement and judgement. 

You’re letting the algorithm determine how you feel about yourself. Know what type of relationship you want and use the appropriate app for example don’t use tinder to find a long term relationship. 

Greater self-love and self-compassion and self-acceptance