On a regular basis, people want to tell me about the problem with their marriage.  Then, they tell me about the current crisis:  "my spouse doesn't love me/is having an affair/won't talk to me/wants to separate/wants to divorce/etc./etc."

They want to solve the crisis.  And they think THAT is the problem!

They would be wrong.

What they are describing is a symptom.  Not the problem.

If you try to solve a symptom, all you get are other symptoms.  No resolution, no help, and no change.

We don't just do it about a marriage issue.  If you are running a fever, you may decide to take some acetaminophen or ibuprofen.  And you might feel better (the fever likely comes down).  But if there is an underlying problem, treating the symptom means that some other symptom will just emerge... and it may be even worse!

In this podcast, I look at the difference between a symptom (the crisis) and the problem (what led to the crisis). That will help you to actually make a difference in your marriage, solve the crisis, and resolve the problem.

Listen below.

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