Crystal Paine Show

I am joined this week by Lauren Gaines, author of Unshakable Kids: Three Keys to Raising Spiritually Strong and Emotionally Healthy Children. As someone who often discusses emotional language and nurturing emotional health in your kids, I have received many, many questions from moms about teaching these concepts to young kids, so Lauren is joining me today to help me tackle this topic!

Lauren is a mother of three with a background in school psychology, and she provides practical insights and resources for parents seeking to instill spiritual strength and emotional resilience in their children. Join us as we delve into the three keys of focusing on the mind, heart, and identity, emphasizing metacognition, emotional intelligence, and building courage and confidence in Christ.

Lauren also shares incredibly valuable brain builders and discusses the crucial role of rest in creating a more balanced and peaceful family life. If you're a parent navigating the challenges of raising spiritually strong and emotionally healthy kids, I hope this episode encourages you and gives you a lot of food for thought.

In This Episode

[0:35] - Lauren Gaines, author of Unshakable Kids, is today’s guest!

[2:01] - Lauren, a mother of three with a school psychology background, integrates psychology and biblical teachings.

[5:35] - What does the phrase “spiritual strength” mean to Lauren?

[8:47] - Hear Lauren define what “emotionally healthy” means to her.

[10:14] - In her book, Lauren emphasizes the profound impact of the mind and explores emotional health, identity, and practical strategies for parenting.

[12:59] - Lauren highlights metacognition, encouraging conversations with kids about the power of words and providing ways to shift negative thought patterns.

[15:33] - Lauren delves into methods that teach kids to understand and change thought patterns for emotional well-being.

[17:47] - How to boost kids' emotional awareness and promote positive expressions and understanding.

[20:19] - It's important for kids to recognize physical sensations as signals of emotions.

[22:49] - How does Lauren navigate homeschooling stress?

[24:37] - Lauren guides kids through adversity with a three-step process, emphasizing reflection and aligning beliefs with positivity.

[26:46] - How to find quiet moments in your day, even if you have a very full life.

[29:01] - Lauren explains that she embraces rest and aligns with biblical teachings for improved well-being.

[31:35] - Lauren talks about how they've recently restructured their lifestyle and the difference it has made.

[33:31] - How slowing down, reflecting, and prioritizing peace over rushing can make such a difference in your home.

• Unshakable Kids: Three Keys to Raising Spiritually Strong and Emotionally Healthy Children by Lauren Gaines
• FREE Homemade Gift Guide
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Crystal Paine
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

This year has been stretching for our marriage. We’ve had some really hard and spark-less days. In fact, at the beginning of the summer, I looked into Jesse’s eyes and said: “This isn’t working. Something needs to change.”

We talked about how we felt like we’d been running on empty in our marriage, that we’d been trying to tap into any reserves we had but we were now hitting the bottom of the barrel.

Maybe some of you who have walked through challenging seasons can relate?

It wasn’t any one thing. We still loved each other. We just were tired and worn down and our marriage was getting the leftovers — and truthfully it felt like there really hadn’t even been many leftovers to spare in recent months.

We knew something needed to change, so here were two things we did:

HONESTY: we said out loud what we were feeling. We didn’t blame the other person. We took personal responsibility. It’s sometimes easy to stuff down our feelings — but that only makes things worse over time as they eventually explode out in dysfunctional responses (and usually in anger). We also got honest with God — asking for His help and wisdom — and with few trusted friends in our life. We listened to their wise counsel and took their advice.

PRIORITY: we started prioritizing our marriage again — even when it was super challenging to do with 3 teens and 3-4 younger ones. I realized that I’d been putting the kids’ needs above Jesse. I would always view their needs as more urgent and put him on the back burner. I didn’t mean to do this, but it just sort of started happening — and it hurt our relationship. So I began asking them to wait sometimes so that I could talk to him/kiss him/greet him first. We committed to look into each others’ eyes more. To kiss more. To look for little ways to express our love throughout the day. And to make time for dates by ourselves — even if it was just 45 minutes.

Love is often built and nurtured in the little tiny choices day in and day out. We’d lost sight of that this year and the impact was significant.

But little bit, by little bit, in our choosing to make each other the most important priority next to God again, the sparks are coming back!

In this week's episode of the podcast, Jesse and I share more about this year, the challenges our marriage has faced, and how we're fighting through and fighting for each other... and learning from our mistakes.

I hope this honest and vulnerable conversation encourages you. Plus, like usual, we share some family updates and I talk about a sweatshirt I'm loving and an audiobook I've been listening to!

In This Episode

[3:19] - We're getting honest about marriage today!

[6:22] - I have been listening to Three Sisters by Heather Morris.

[11:32] - A sweatshirt I've been loving and a free Christmas gift guide!

[13:52] - Reflecting on almost 21 years of marriage.

[17:02] - Both of us felt like there was not enough space in our lives to handle everything.

[19:29] - In the midst of a lot of unknown, unexpected, and interruptions, this year’s emotional toll strained our marriage.

[25:51] - We eventually admitted the need for change in our marriage, emphasizing honesty and shared responsibility without blame.

[29:07] - Confronting the danger of drifting apart, committing to creative solutions and honest communication.

[32:37] - Prioritizing each other, teaching our kids patience, and planning intentional dates.

[36:46] - Jesse adds that recognizing issues and being open to honest communication is crucial for marital understanding.

• Crystal Paine
• FREE Homemade Gift Guide
• Oversized Sweatshirt
• Episode: Why I'm Saying No
• Three Sisters: A Novel by Heather Morris
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

I try not to have favorite podcast episodes, but I just really, really loved this episode and can't wait for you to hear it. I hope it inspires and warms your heart as much as it did mine!

This week, I got to sit down with Ginny Yurich, the founder of 1000 Hours Outside, to delve into her impactful work and discuss her latest book, Until the Streetlights Come On: How a Return to Play Brightens Our Present and Prepares Kids for an Uncertain Future!

Ginny has deeply inspired me through her work and I share more about how the concept of 1000 Hours Outside has changed my life this past year. I share a little about this during this conversation and then Ginny shares how this idea first came about for her. You will fall in love with Ginny (if you don't already follow her online!) as she shares her heartfelt story and passion for families spending more time outdoors.

From practical tips for busy moms to anecdotes about navigating outdoor adventures with teenagers, we explore the multifaceted benefits of outdoor play and the positive impact it has on our mental and emotional well-being. I think you will be so inspired and blessed by listening to this episode!

[0:35] - I am thrilled to welcome Ginny Yurich to the podcast!

[3:18] - Ginny shares her transformative experience that first launched the idea of 1000 Hours Outside.

[6:24] - Hear how Ginny discovers the joys of unstructured outdoor time, realizing its profound impact on child development and emotional enrichment.

[11:12] - Ginny offers advice on spending more time outdoors, such as finding a friend, choosing a safe space, packing essentials, and starting with easy outings.

[14:04] - Spending a few hours per day outdoors doesn't have to be as complicated to make happen as it might seem at first.

[15:35] - Ginny touches upon how incorporating outdoor rhythms transforms parenting.

[18:51] - Outdoor adventures foster lasting memories, boost cognition, and defy screen-centric teen stereotypes.

[21:23] - Ginny shares how encouraging teens in diverse activities fosters lifelong development.

[25:26] - Setting a 1000-hour outdoor goal ensures accountability, balancing learning with flexible and efficient educational opportunities.

[27:19] - Ginny points out that morning outdoor time boosts mood and energy and sets a healthy day-night cycle.

[29:27] - I, in closing, point out that the thousand hours outside concept invites a balance, not a strict choice; embracing nature is a gift for both parents and kids.

• Crystal Paine
• 1000 Hours Outside
• Until the Streetlights Come On: How a Return to Play Brightens Our Present and Prepares Kids for an Uncertain Future by Ginny Yurich MEd
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Jesse and I did something we've never done before for this episode: we recorded it twice! Not because of technical issues, either. Listen in for why (and you can laugh!)

In this week's podcast, we share a candid glimpse into some struggles we've experienced in recent months that prompted a conversation that led to a change in our daily lives. We talk about some of the hurdles that come with working from home and how these have impacted us recently.

We also talk about how to be honest when you feel stuck, how to assess and acknowledge your challenges, and how to move forward from stuck to solutions.

Throughout the conversation, listen in as we emphasize the importance of recognizing that you're never truly stuck, and we encourage listeners to be open to new perspectives and approaches. Join us as we share our journey of embracing change, finding solutions, and discovering the transformative power of a fresh perspective!

In This Episode

[1:37] - RSV, stomach bugs, and surgery... it's not been dull around here!

[10:37] - I just finished listening to a really fascinating novel!

[15:19] - What has been saving my life?

[16:10] - Car seat covers have been so helpful!

[20:24] - We are talking about a little tweak that has made a big difference in our lives!

[22:51] - Learn about the four As to tweak your life!

[24:57] - I felt resistance to Jesse's idea at first.

[29:46] - I detail how this tweak brought unexpected benefits.

[34:56] - Jesse adds not to dismiss possibilities based on perceived impracticality.

[35:52] - I emphasize the importance of not believing that you’re stuck; there’s always a solution.

• Car Seat Covers
• The Crystal Paine Show - 230. Why I’m Saying No
• A Night Divided by Jennifer A. Nielsen
• Crystal Paine
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Do you miss a title you used to have, a role you used to have, or a person or thing that used to be a big part of your life? If so, today's podcast episode will encourage your heart -- especially if letting go of what your life used to look like has been hard. Chuck and Ashley Elliott joined me in-studio recently to talk about their brand new book I Used to Be ___ : How to Navigate Large and Small Losses in Life and Find Your Path Forward-- a book that pretty much all of us can relate to!

Chuck and Ashley have been married for sixteen years and have served as marriage educators, in addition to Chuck being a pastor and Ashley being a therapist. They are also deeply familiar with grief and loss and they share some of what they've walked through in this episode.

In this episode, we discuss the process of grief, the dangers of belittling our pain or comparing it to others, how to determine if we have unprocessed grief, how anger can actually be such a valuable warning flag, and why so often what we think we are frustrated about isn't actually what is frustrating us.

They also talk about the three A's to change: awareness, assessment, and action and how we can use these as tools to move to a healthier, more wholehearted and healed place -- so that we can live with more joy and less stress and anger.

In This Episode

[0:35] - Today’s show features Chuck and Ashley Elliott -- marriage educators as well as a pastor and therapist.

[3:18] - Ashley shares some of the grief and losses that she and Chuck have experienced.

[4:56] - Where does the concept behind the title of the book come from?

[7:37] - Everyone likely feels that they’ve lost a part of what they once were.

[11:44] - How can we identify a loss that we aren’t properly processing?

[14:31] - Chuck shares how anger is sometimes a mask for other feelings.

[17:12] - Ashley discusses the three A's to change.

[19:47] - What do you do if it feels like nothing is working and you're just stuck?

[24:33] - Ashley shares openly about their miscarriages and speaks to parents who have walked through the grief of infertility or losing a baby.

[28:54] - We end this episode talking about the power of your presence and how sometimes that is the greatest gift we can give to another.

• Crystal Paine
• ChuckandAshley.com
• I Used to Be ___ by Chuck Elliott & Ashley Elliott
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

This podcast episode is one I'd been looking forward to recording -- because it is always so special to get to talk to a mom who also has a child with Down syndrome. Author of The Gift of the Unexpected: Discovering Who You Were Meant to Be When Life Goes Off Plan, Jillian Benfield joins me today to share her heartfelt story of getting the very unexpected diagnosis of Down syndrome for her second child, Anderson.

In this conversation, Jillian and I dive into the depths of her experience, beginning with the earth-shattering phone call that changed her life's trajectory. Jillian recounts the initial shock, the fear, and the grief she felt upon learning about her son's diagnosis. What follows is a candid conversation about the unlearning and re-earning process she underwent, navigating the unexpected, and the beautiful, inspirational transformation that emerged.

Jillian also shares powerful insights about worthiness and the societal pressures that define what it means to be successful. We explore the misconceptions surrounding Down Syndrome and how her son, Anderson, reshaped her perspective. Jillian's advocacy for inclusive education shines through as she discusses the importance of embracing differences in both schools and churches, and together, we reflect on the beauty of embracing the unexpected, finding hope in the midst of despair, and discovering the gifts that emerge from life's unexpected turns.

In This Episode

[0:35] - I have Jillian Benfield, author of The Gift of the Unexpected, on the show today!

[3:09] - Jillian shares how a surprising move to Alamogordo and then a pregnancy test completely disrupted her plans for her life.

[5:47] - In the face of a Down syndrome diagnosis, she re-examined life's meaning.

[10:40] - Jillian reflects on how society usually links worth to success.

[13:46] - Learn how the unexpected deeply connected Jillian to a vulnerable, suffering Jesus.

[17:23] - Jillian and I discuss how acceptance transforms perceptions; disabilities don't define worth.

[20:29] - Anderson is thriving in inclusive school, embracing happiness and sibling love.

[21:59] - How her other children have grown with empathy, learning from their brother's unique journey.

[24:09] - Inclusive education is vital for fully embracing people with disabilities.

[26:45] - We talk about church inclusion, highlighting mutual benefits for all members.

[28:31] - Jillian reflects on the white sands behind her house in New Mexico, emphasizing that new life can emerge from unexpected challenges.

• Crystal Paine
• The Gift of the Unexpected: Discovering Who You Were Meant to Be When Life Goes Off Plan by Jillian Benfield
• Jillian Benfield
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Buckle up because we are diving into a pretty controversial topic this week on the podcast: ​​why we don't think parents should pay for everything for their kids and why we expect our kids to get a job by 15.

In this podcast episode, I share the story of a simple Instagram post that sparked a heated debate and led me to discuss why we have this requirement in our family. We explore the reasons behind this decision, how it plays out in our home, and the valuable life skills our teens learn through this experience.

Listen in as Jesse and I discuss how our teens having jobs and learning to manage their own money has been so valuable and provided such fulfillment and real world experience.

We also discuss the benefits of having our kids manage their earnings, learn to balance responsibilities, and understand the connection between work, money, and their future stability. We also talk about how to navigate jobs when your kids have very full schedules with school and sports. We hope this episode inspires you to empower your children to more successfully manage their time and money as they get older and have more confidence in many different situations.

In This Episode

[0:35] - We are talking today about why we require our kids to have jobs by the time they’re 15.

[1:34] - We've got some travel stories for you today! I hope they can make you laugh! :)

[18:36] - Lessons learned: stay calm, spread kindness, and look to make the most of every opportunity.

[22:01] - Why do we require our kids to get jobs by the time that they're 15?

[24:49] - I strongly believe that paying for everything for our kids does them a disservice.

[26:16] - I talk about how it's crucial to teach our children about time management.

[28:19] - We teach our kids fulfillment through hard work, encouraging independence.

[30:04] - It can be difficult for a 14-year-old to get a job, but there are ways around the challenge.

[33:35] - Jesse reminds us that we aren't talking about full-time jobs here when they are teenagers.

• Crystal Paine
• Image RESTored: Tear Down Shame and Insecurity to Experience a Body Image Renovation by Rachael Gilbert
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Welcome back to the show, everyone! This week, I am discussing a Real talk: I’ve struggled with body image much of my life. I’ve used food and exercise as a reward and punishment. I’ve obsessed over what I ate or didn’t eat, how much I exercised or didn’t exercise, how my clothes fit or didn’t fit, and what the number on the scales.

I’ve beat myself up when the jeans didn’t fit, felt frustrated and discouraged when the scale didn’t say the number I wanted it to, and spent way too much mental energy thinking about what I see when I look in the mirror.

I’ve always gained 30+ pounds with each pregnancy and losing it has always been a challenge. But I felt like getting back to “pre-pregnancy size” was super important — so I’ve expended so much thought and effort and unhealthy pursuits to hit that.

I don’t share this so that people will leave comments saying, “But you look great!” I share this because I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this.

As women, we can invest so much time, thought, and money in the pursuit of what we think is the ideal body image… all the while missing that we are made in the image of God, thinness doesn’t define our value and worth, and that the Enemy loves to hijack our focus from Jesus to an obsession over our size.

And that’s why I’m so grateful for this week’s podcast episode with @rachaeljgilbert where we talk openly about what it looks like to have a healthy body image and practical ways to get there.

Yes, pursuing health and fitness so that we can have energy to do what God has called us to do and honor the body God has given us is a good thing. But the number on the scale or size on the tag of our jeans is not what defines us: Jesus does!

And I’ve learned firsthand that you can hit your goal weight and still be incredibly unhealthy mentally, emotionally, and physically. Because health isn’t just about what we put into our bodies or what we see in the mirror; it’s also about what we allow to take up residence in our minds and hearts and what we believe about ourselves and about God.

In this episode, Rachael Gilbert, the author of Image RESTored: Tear Down Shame and Insecurity to Experience a Body Image Renovation, shares powerful insights and personal journey shed light on the often unspoken struggles many face. We delve into the impact of trauma on body image and how addressing both big and small traumas is crucial for healing. Rachael's expertise as a therapist guides us through the process, offering practical tools and a fresh perspective on finding freedom.

Rachael reveals the significance of addressing both big and small traumas that impact how we view ourselves. She explains how these experiences create barriers and impact our lives, and she shares her own transformative journey, emphasizing the power of processing trauma.

Her insights provide keys to unlock a new way of thinking and living, so I hope you will join us as we explore the layers of healing, embracing your identity in Christ, and discovering the path towards body image restoration.

In This Episode

[0:35] - Today’s guest is Rachael Gilbert, author of the book Image RESTored!

[1:17] - Rachael shares her personal body image struggles and healing journey.

[2:25] - Blending fitness expertise and therapy, Rachael guides body image challenges.

[4:33] - I ask Rachael to share some of her personal journey.

[7:11] - Rachael shares how she began to seek help and embrace change.

[9:32] - It starts with recognizing the desire for change, then embracing tools.

[10:42] - Rachael advocates for identifying core beliefs and challenging them.

[13:50] - Challenge lies with God's truth, reshaping thought patterns for healing.

[16:01] - Rachael argues for creating a safe, empathetic space for girls' body image struggles.

[19:57] - It was so important to Rachael to address her trauma, a key topic in her book.

[23:29] - Embrace insecurities, and confront them with tools for lasting freedom.

[25:20] - I add that we should recognize insecurities and find truth in God's love.

[26:46] - A secure attachment to God improves body image struggles.

[28:59] - Rachael advises us to open our hearts to Jesus; He heals even the most broken parts.

[30:26] - I explain why I love the title of Rachael's book.

• Crystal Paine
• Image RESTored: Tear Down Shame and Insecurity to Experience a Body Image Renovation by Rachael Gilbert
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

“Pretend you’re standing on the edge of a huge cliff and someone is going to push you off if you don’t let go of 2-3 things you’re carrying. What are you going to let go of?”

I was at the end of my first coaching session with @alliworthington a few months ago and she’d ask me to describe my life and responsibilities. She told me I needed to find some things to let go, scale back on, get help with, or delegate. I pretty quickly said, “I don’t know that I really can.” And I was prepared to back up my answer with lots of solid reasons why I needed to be carrying everything I was carrying.

Instead of me having an opportunity to do just that, she gave me the cliff analogy above and told me I had two weeks to ponder the question and come back to her with some ideas of what I was going to let go of.

I love that she did this because it was exactly what my stubborn, do-it-myself, don’t-ask-for-help personality needed to be challenged with. And — to my great surprise! — in the next few weeks, I found three big ongoing responsibilities that I could let go of — and I did!!

In this week’s episode of the podcast, I share what those three responsibilities were and how it looked and felt to hand them off and what I’m learning from this.

I hope my journey and story really encourages those of you who might need the gentle nudge — or a strong kick in the backside — to release some of what you’re clinging onto thinking you’re the only one who can do it, the only one who is willing/stepping up to say yes, or the only one who can do it as well as you can.

This journey of letting go, praying for God to bring help, receiving the offers of help, and letting others help has been SO hard and humbling and so, so good for my soul. Plus, I’m starting to feel a lot more breathing room in my life again — which has been a huge gift!

In This Episode

[0:35] - We are talking about the importance of saying no today.

[2:32] - Hear about a potential water leak we discovered in Kathrynne’s house.

[6:38] - It turned out that it was just a reading error because the meter was broken!

[9:57] - Jesse’s passion for weather.

[12:41] - A funny story about our recent trip and a "stream".

[16:52] - What has been saving my life lately?

[19:36] - Our little ones have been loving chalkboards and dry-erase boards.

[21:37] - I recently read Don’t Hold Back by David Platt!

[25:09] - Saying no.

[29:54] - On callings and also balancing that with a sustainable life.

[32:17] - Letting go of a role I've held for the past few years.

[36:06] - Two more responsibilities I let go of.

[37:38] - Saying no can make space for others to say yes.

• Crystal Paine
• BOB Gear Revolution Flex 3.0 Duallie Double Jogging Stroller, Graphite Black
• Chalk Full of Design
• The Crystal Paine Show - 223. Love is Worth the Risk
• Books
• Three Felonies a Day: How the Feds Target the Innocent by Henry Silverglate
• Don’t Hold Back: Leaving Behind the American Gospel to Follow Jesus Fully by David Platt
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Prepare to dive into a topic that might make some of you a bit uncomfortable but is incredibly important for the health of your marriage - secrets of sex and marriage. My friend Shaunti Feldhahn is the author of the book Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, and she and I are excited to discuss this because it's a topic that many couples struggle with but often don't openly address. We explore the surprises teased in her book title, from understanding what's normal to the different types of desire, and most importantly, effective communication.

One of the key takeaways from our discussion is that intimacy isn't just about physical connection; it's about knowing your spouse in the deepest, most vulnerable way possible. When you can truly understand your partner's fears, desires, and needs, you can build a stronger emotional and physical connection. Shanti has also created a workbook, "Unlocking an Intimate Marriage," to complement the book and guide couples in fostering profound connections beyond just the bedroom, so whether you're in a thriving marriage or facing challenges, this episode has something valuable to offer, and I encourage you to join us on this journey of discovery and connection!

In This Episode

[0:35] - Today’s episode is with returning guest Shaunti Feldhahn!

[1:57] - Shaunti shares some background information about herself with us.

[2:58] - Frequent sexual intimacy is a vital factor in marriages, impacting overall happiness.

[5:53] - Shaunti's research included aspects such as anonymous interviews.

[8:01] - Understanding the wide range of normal in intimacy is crucial.

[11:45] - Most couples experience a desire mismatch due to different types of desire, not just differing libido levels.

[13:51] - Understanding two types of desire, initiating and receptive, helps couples effectively work together.

[16:23] - I stress the importance of communication in intimacy.

[17:32] - Shaunti shares how her book helps couples discuss sensitive topics comfortably.

[20:12] - Learn about Shaunti's workbook!

[22:21] - Open communication about this topic leads to improved overall marital satisfaction.

[24:32] - How does Shaunti define an intimate marriage?

[27:19] - Hopelessness in relationships often stems from miscommunication and misunderstanding.

Links & Resources

Crystal Paine

The Crystal Paine Show - 86. How to Talk to Your Spouse About Money (with Shaunti Feldhahn)

Books

Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma

Social Media

Crystal Paine on Instagram

Crystal Paine on Twitter

Crystal Paine on Goodreads

Money Saving Mom

Money Saving Mom on Facebook

Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group

[email protected]