Crystal Paine Show

Today’s guest on The Crystal Paine Show is someone who has been on the show before and you all loved that episode. So when the opportunity came up to have her back on the show one more time, I jumped on it, especially when I saw the title of her new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are!

In this episode, Lysa TerKeurst discusses where she gets her ideas for her books, primarily her struggles and what they show her she needs to improve and work on. She also elaborates on what the word boundaries means to her and how she has learned what boundaries are from the Bible, the difference between being selfish and demonstrating self-control, how boundaries help prevent unpleasant extremes and what to do if those extremes take place anyway, and so much more.

I am so appreciative of Lysa for her friendship, for being on the show, and for having written this new book. If you are someone who struggles with setting boundaries with people and/or feel like you’re being selfish if and when you do, then I strongly recommend that you pick up a copy!

[00:35] – I am so honored to have a repeat guest today, Lysa TerKeurst!

[03:45] – What does the word “boundaries” mean to Lysa?

[06:28] – Lysa shares how to implement responsibility.

[07:56] – How does Lysa determine someone’s responsibility level?

[10:48] – Lysa explains what can happen as a result of no boundaries.

[13:41] – How do we set boundaries while still serving and helping others?

[14:34] – Lysa points out the difference between selfishness and self-control.

[18:00] – How do we set boundaries without walking away from people we love?

[20:15] – What do boundaries look like if we live with the person?

[22:52] – What if you set a boundary with someone and they respond negatively?

[25:27] – Lysa explains how trying to control someone leads to us feeling trapped.

[30:43] – Lysa’s insight applies to all of the relationships in our lives.

• Links & Resources
• The Crystal Paine Show: 103. Forgiving What You Can’t Forget (with Lysa TerKeurst)
• Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are by Lysa TerKeurst
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Disagreements and differences in opinion often result in tension and division in relationships. But does it have to be this way?

In this week's episode of The Crystal Paine Show, I sit down with Michele Cushatt, one of the authors of the brand-new and much-needed book Come Sit with Me, a book all about how to love well, in spite of differences and/or disagreements.

We recorded this episode the week of the midterm elections and I felt it couldn't be more appropriate. Michele talks about how to go about seeing differences as means for curiosity rather than fear. She shares how it's so easy to feel threatened by differences and then let that cause us to put our guard up instead of to lean in and listen and learn out of a place of love.

In this episode, she shares four keys for having conversations when we disagree with someone -- and they might surprise you! I especially loved how she dug into the importance of knowing where our identity is and how that is foundational for not being frustrated, angry, or hurt when someone disagrees with us.

In This Episode

[01:08] – Delighting in our differences... what does that mean? Let's talk about it!

[03:26] – But first, I have Michele introduce herself.

[09:10] – Feeling curious vs. feeling threatened.

[10:55] – What inspired Michele's chapter in the book.

[15:25] – Why are children curious? Why do we often lose this curiosity as we grow older?

[16:54] – The role identity plays in our discussion about differences.

[18:35] – What does it look like to put our identity in Jesus?

[20:01] – We need more than current events to put our hopes on.

[22:28] – Listening is a lost art that we need to find again.

[25:13] – Where does the need to be right come from?

[25:55] – Michele discusses the importance of empathy.

[27:37] – We can't let our positions become more important than people.

• Links & Resources
• Michele Cushatt
• (in)courage
• Books
• Come Sit with Me by (in)courage
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

We took a super quick 28-hour trip to Wilkes-Barre, PA for my friend Jamie’s mom’s funeral a few weeks ago. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve heard parts of our crazy travel experience, but since it sparked so many conversations and messages online, I thought we should share the whole thing together in this week's podcast episode! (See more pictures from our trip here.)

A few takeaways from our trip:

::We never got the opportunity to meet Jamie’s mom, but it was so special to hear family and friends share about how she impacted their lives. It was such a reminder to invest our lives in what matters and to not take any relationship for granted.

::Be sure to double check dates before booking flights. Ahem. Also, double-check the address to your hotel. And finally, double-check that you have your photo ID. Listen to the episode for more details on all that. 🙂

::Flying with a two-year-old is never boring. Kierstyn and Micah both did well on the flights and the two-hour drive from Philly to Wilkes-Barre and back, but K was quite confident in her navigational skills at the airport and we quickly learned we needed to push her in the stroller lest she dart ahead of us and get lost in a crowd! Also: I have no idea how parents travel by themselves with a toddler and a baby. We felt like we were barely pulling it off and there were two adults!

::Wilkes-Barre is not pronounced like I expected. But the locals can’t seem to agree on the correct pronunciation.

::It was our first time for both of us to leave D. We missed him so much and can’t wait until he’s adopted and we don’t have to have prior written approval from DCS for him to travel! But our older three kids did an amazing job watching him.

In this episode, we also have an adoption update to share, I talk about a book I’m super excited about, and we laugh about recent antics of our toddlers.

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[00:35] – It’s time for more crazy travel stories today!

[02:03] – But first, life with toddlers is never boring!

[08:10] – We have an adoption update to share!

[10:40] – I just got a book in the mail that I am really excited about!

[12:29] – A tip to save you money for the Christmas season.

[15:00] – Crazy travel story time!

[20:50] – Discover what happened when we were getting ready to leave.

[31:47] – What went down when Jesse tried to check in to the hotel.

[34:02] – And last but not least, “losing” my ID at TSA security check-in.

• Our Craziest Travel Stories (podcast episode)
• The Crystal Paine Show – 100. Raising Worry-Free Girls (with Sissy Goff)
• The Crystal Paine Show – 175. Raising Emotionally Strong Boys (with David Thomas)
• The Worry-Free Parent: Living in Confidence So Your Kids Can Too  by Sissy Goff
• MoneySavingMom.com
• YourBloggingMentor.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

The podcast is available on iTunes, Android, Stitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player here. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

This week's podcast is a conversation with Douglas McKelvey -- a screenwriter, songwriter, and author of several books including Every Moment Holy -- a book of prayers for every day life. In this episode I share how Every Moment Holy and the prayers in it have impacted me and I get to ask him the questions I've always wondered. Doug shares the story behind why he wrote this book of prayers, how he decided which topics to tackle, and where he found the inspiration.

I love how he challenges us to make prayer such a backbone of our every day life -- and that there is no task that is too menial that we can't bathe in prayer.

In fact, one of the parts of Every Moment Holy that I love so much is that there are prayers for so many seemingly mundane aspects of life, such as washing windows, home repairs, morning coffee, and sick days to name a few! We close the episode with Doug sharing the beautiful prayer he wrote for the start of your day.

[01:26] – I share about why I said yes to this interview and why I love this book. And I ask Doug to share more about himself.

[03:58] – What was the inspiration behind Every Moment Holy?

[08:30] – Some examples of the topics of prayers from the book.

[12:34] – Doug tells us a funny story behind the book's creation.

[15:14] – How were the prayers crafted?

[19:00] - What does it look like for Doug to bring God into everything he does?

[23:37] – How the success and excitement around Every Moment Holy has completely blown away all expectations.

[27:02] – Why we should step out and not say no -- and how it can be the start of a story far beyond what we could imagine!

[31:02] – Doug reads aloud his liturgy for first waking.

• Books
• Every Moment Holy by Douglas McKelvey
• Every Moment Holy, Vol. 2: Death, Grief, & Hope by Douglas McKelvey
• Every Moment Holy, Vol. 1 (Gift Edition) by Douglas McKelvey
• Other Resources
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Today’s podcast episode is a bit different than usual! Ruth Chou Simons came in studio a number of weeks ago to record an episode, but we had a bunch of issues getting it recorded (listen to the episode for the funny story!) and ended up doing an Instagram live and Facebook live and then pulled some of the audio from that for this episode.

Jesse and I also give some life updates at the beginning of the show and talk about books we’re reading + what’s saving my life. In my conversation with Ruth, we discuss her new devotional, Emmanuel: An Invitation to Prepare Him Room at Christmas and Always, and what it looks like to prepare our hearts for the holiday season so that it is filled with grace. She shares what it looks like to focus on what’s truly important about the holiday season – not presents and parties but rather peace in our hearts and homes.

Ruth encourages us that Advent and Christmas isn’t just something we should celebrate in December, but all year long. She offers a lot of inspiration and advice and invites you to take 25 days to start the journey of seeing the holiday season from a new viewpoint.

[00:35] – We’re doing something a bit different today!

[03:46] – My recent trip to Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

[06:56] – What I’ve been reading lately.

[09:45] – Jesse and I talk about reading books vs. listening to audiobooks.

[11:25] – What has been saving my life recently?

[15:04] – Snippets from my conversation with Ruth Chou Simons.

[17:26] – Advice to young moms.

[19:22] – Ruth argues that it’s not possible to satisfy everyone when planning for the holidays.

[21:00] – What does Ruth mean by Jesus is the reason for the season?

[23:46] – What can we do now to prepare?

[25:45] – Ruth points out that what everyone truly longs for is peace and love.

[26:57] – Learn about how Ruth’s book is laid out.

• Books
• The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah
• The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah
• Emmanuel: An Invitation to Prepare Him Room at Christmas and Always by Ruth Chou Simons
• Other Resources
• Ergobaby Carrier
• Ruth’s Website
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

I was so excited about doing this podcast interview. Jillana and I have so many overlapping connections and passions: she lived in Guatemala (where our little boy is from!), she's a foster mom, she's adopted from foster care, she has teenagers, she has an ongoing relationship with a birth mom, and she has a child with special needs.

We could have talked for hours, but I limited myself to just around 30 minutes for this episode -- and it's packed with goodness! We dive deep into what it looks like to parent a child with special needs, the challenges and blessings of walking in proximity to birth parents of children we've fostered and/or adopted, and how living a love-stretched life has turned their world upside down in the most beautiful of ways.  

Whether you are a foster parent or an adoptive parent or a parent of a child with special needs or whether your life looks completely different, I think you'll find your heart resonating with her passion to love those who need love the most and to walk alongside them without criticism or condemnation but instead with compassion.

[02:05] – Jillana introduces herself and her unique family.

[03:18] – Why did Jillana foster children before having children biologically?

[06:33] – What was her mindset before she started fostering?

[09:11] – An honest discussion on birth parents.

[13:31] – Parents with kids in foster care were often kids in foster care themselves.

[15:06] – Jillana offers advice on how to walk alongside other foster parents if you aren't called to foster.

[16:50] – Hear about being welcoming but with boundaries.

[19:52] – What it's like parenting a child with special needs.

[29:52] – The beauty of interdependency.

[31:22] – What does a love-stretched life look like?

• Books
• A Love-Stretched Life: Stories on Wrangling Hope, Embracing the Unexpected, and Discovering the Meaning of Family by Jillana Goble
• Other Resources
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Hospitality can be defined in so many different ways which makes it a very broad topic, but author Shannan Martin joins me today to talk about it and what it means to be a good neighbor. Her book Start with Hello covers how to create a sense of community with our neighbors, even if we are introverted. Shannan argues that we are all hungry for community even if we don't quite realize it, and she offers great advice on how to start creating that sense of community.

Shannan offers ways to carve out space in our lives to create connections. I, for example, try to keep Fridays open for social gatherings, and Shannan offers examples from her own life as well. She defines hospitality as the door being easy on its hinges and explains what she means by that.

Shannan also reveals what her favorite simple step is to build connection, and I really appreciate what Shannan is doing and really appreciate her time. Be sure to check out Shannan's book for more information!

In This Episode

[00:35] – Shannan Martin is today's guest!
[01:52] – Shannan introduces herself and gives some background information.
[04:24] – How can we create community if we are introverted?
[06:29] – Shannan argues that everyone is looking for community even if we don't realize.
[08:09] – How can people put themselves out there if they've gotten hurt doing so before?
[10:13] – Shannan gives an example of a friend even though they had a lot of differences.
[12:50] – What is a good first baby step?
[15:28] – I have been keeping Fridays open lately.
[18:38] – Shannan points out that we don't have to have it all together when being hospitable.
[21:44] – Shannan believes in her book but still has some anxiety.
[24:42] – What does hospitality look like for Shannan now that her kids are teenagers?
[27:05] – Shannan defines hospitality as keeping the door easy on its hinges.
[30:16] – Shannan emphasizes the importance of asking for help.

Links & Resources

Crystal Paine

Books

Start with Hello by Shannan Martin
The Ministry of Ordinary Places

Social Media

Crystal Paine on Instagram
Crystal Paine on Twitter
Crystal Paine on Goodreads
Money Saving Mom
Money Saving Mom on Facebook
Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group
[email protected]

"What is Kathrynne doing after high school?" Jesse and I have been asked this over and over again -- and Kathrynne has been asked this even more!

These questions sparked today's conversation -- about how easy it is to put pressure on others unknowingly and to spend so much of our lives thinking about, planning for, looking forward to, and worrying about the future that we miss the beauty of the here and now.

We'd love to hear your feedback after you listen to this episode!

In This Episode

[00:35] – We are talking about after high school today!

[03:08] – Our trip to Branson and Silver Dollar City.

[05:40] – What's been saving our lives.

[09:51] – I am almost finished listening to Count the Nights by Stars by Michelle Shocklee.

[14:15] – We have been watching Five Days at Memorial.

[17:01] – We dive into the topic of what Kathrynne is doing after high school.

[19:49] – Most people don't work in what they majored in at college.

[21:49] – I pose a question to ask rather than what most people ask.

[23:25] – Jesse touches upon how the question can also lead to guilt.

[26:30] – Hear a story that emphasizes the importance of being grounded in the present.

[28:12] – We would love to hear more alternate questions from you!

• Books
• Count the Nights by Stars by Michelle Shocklee
  Under the Tulip Tree by Michelle Shocklee
• Five Days at Memorial: Life and Death in a Storm-Ravaged Hospital by Sheri Fink
• Special Mentions
• Bouncing Balls Sleep Video for Babies
• Five Days at Memorial on Apple TV
• Spectra - S1 Plus Electric Breast Pump
• Other Resources
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

This week's podcast episode is on a topic that is very close to my heart... because it's something that so deeply impacted me! When I was growing up, my mom read aloud to us almost every single day and I have so many fond memories of the time we spent gathered together -- often working on some type of sewing handwork -- while she read us a few more chapters from the book we were currently reading aloud.

To this day, I recall so many stories from those books and often am inspired in my every day life to be more courageous because of them. I share more about that on this episode of The Crystal Paine Show where I'm joined by Jennifer Pepito, author of Mothering by the Book: The Power of Reading Aloud to Overcome Fear and Recapture Joy. As you may have guessed, this episode is all about the positive impact of reading aloud to your children.

Jennifer is the mother of seven children whom she has been homeschooling for twenty-five years. And she is passionate about the power of reading aloud -- not just for your kids, but for you as a mom. She shares her best tips for getting started, how to approach reluctant listeners, a few of her favorite read alouds, and what reading aloud has looked like in their home through the years.

She is such a seasoned mother and homeschooler and has such a wealth of knowledge and wisdom to share, and I hope that you find her words helpful. I left this conversation so inspired and I think you will, too!

[01:11] – We are talking about the book Mothering by the Book today!

[02:27] – Did Jennifer always intend to homeschool her children?

[05:14] – How Jennifer found time in her day to read aloud to her children -- especially when they were little.

[06:50] – What reading aloud has looked like as Jennifer's children grew older.

[11:05] – How do we get children to sit still to listen to a book?

[12:57] – What do we do when there are interruptions.

[16:43] – How reading aloud impacted me as a child -- and into adulthood.

[18:19] – Jennifer offers insightful advice to new mothers.

[21:36] – And then she shares advice for moms with older kids.

[23:44] – How can we get started making reading aloud a practice in our homes?

[24:55] – What are some of Jennifer's favorite read-aloud titles?

• Mothering by the Book by Jennifer Pepito
• A Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andreola
• The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
• Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose
• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• The Little Britches by Ralph Moody
• Endurance by Alfred Lansing
• Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
• The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
• Miracles on Maple Hill by Virginia Sorensen

I thought that it would be fun to sort of turn the tables around a little bit and interview Jesse, who just recently had his forty-second birthday!

Jesse has a lot of wisdom to share. He's walked through a lot in his life -- including being born prematurely, his parents divorcing at an early age, losing his mom to cancer when he was young, and two major brain tumor surgeries. And that was all just before he turned 15!

In this episode, he shares some of the biggest life lessons he has learned over the course of his life and what lessons he hopes to impart to our children.

We talk about how important it is to take risks and face fears. He share about what it was like to do this when he went to law school and started his own firm, and we both had to face fears when we went into fostering. All in all, you never know where a leap of faith or even just a baby step will take you!

[03:01] – Jesse recently finished reading Fortitude by Dan Crenshaw and is reading People Are the Mission by Danny Franks.

[04:58] – I am reading Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt -- a book that is different from many I usually read.

[09:20] – What has been saving my life this week?

[12:47] – Jesse shares what has been saving his life.

[17:24] – What are a couple of life lessons that Jesse wants to teach our kids.?

[18:13] – Jesse talks about some fears that he has faced throughout his life.

[23:45] – Jesse's hopes for the next forty years or so.

[28:35] – Skills build on each other.

• Books
• Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage by Dan Crenshaw
• People Are the Mission: How Churches Can Welcome Guests Without Compromising the Gospel by Danny Franks
• Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt
• Other Resources
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com