Crystal Paine Show

Jesse and I are talking about "slacker parenting" this week on the podcast. This term might seem a bit odd or like the opposite of the kind of parent you'd want to be, but hear us out... because it's not exactly what it sounds like!

I recently read a pre-release copy of Alli Worthington’s upcoming book Remaining You While Raising Them and that's where I got the phrase from. Alli talks about how kids are often much more capable than we think they are. What would it look like for us to give them more opportunities to be in charge of their own responsibilities -- such as getting up and getting ready to leave for school, making their own lunches, managing their own homework, etc.

I so agreed with what she jokingly called "slacker parenting" because it's about raising our kids to be adults, to take ownership of their life and decisions, and to learn personal responsibility from a young age.

In this episode, we talk more about what this has looked like in our home, how it frees us up to enjoy our kids more, why it's a gift we give our kids, and how it helps prepare them more for life and their future.

[01:35] – We are talking about slacker parenting today.

[02:38] – We just got back from a camping trip!

[05:23] – We learned that our kids like to sleep in very cold temperatures.

[06:25] – Our girls went to prom -- and we also sort of went to pom for the first time!

[08:29] – I have been back on the reading train.

[11:47] – I am almost done listening to The Book Woman’s Daughter.

[13:59] – Jesse is looking forward to the book The Watchmaker’s Daughter.

[16:52] – Iron in a Bottle has been saving my life!

[20:23] – Mamava pods also saved my life last week.

[23:53] – What inspired the topic of slacker parenting?

[26:19] – Hear an example of how we practice this.

[28:31] – Kids are a lot more capable than we give them credit for.

[31:00] – Jesse emphasizes that kids will even ask to help at times.

[32:39] – We also try to avoid solving problems for our kids.

[35:06] – It’s also important to teach kids to ask for help rather than expect it.

[38:30] – This is a gift to your children and to yourself.

• Crystal Paine
• Iron in a Bottle
• Mamava Pods
• Books
• The Book Woman’s Daughter: A Novel by Kim Michele Richardson
• The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek: A Novel by Kim Michele Richardson
• The Watchmaker’s Daughter: The True Story of World War II Heroine Corrie ten Boom by Larry Loftis
• Into the Lion’s Mouth: The True Story of Dusko Popov: World War II Spy, Patriot, and the Real-Life Inspiration for James Bond by Larry Loftis
• Code Name: Lise: The True Story of the Woman Who Became WWII’s Most Highly Decorated Spy by Larry Loftis
• The Princess Spy: The True Story of World War II Spy Aline Griffith, Countess of Romanones by Larry Loftis
• Remaining You While Raising Them: The Secret Art of Confident Motherhood by Alli Worthington
• Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids by Crystal Paine
• Other Links
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

I am so honored to have Anne Neilson on today’s show! Anne has a brand new book out titled The Brushstrokes of Life: Discovering How God Brings Beauty and Purpose to Your Story, and she joins me today to discuss her life such as her general background, her family, how her childhood was a bit difficult and rocky, how she became interested in art, and more.

Anne is very candid about how she spent a good portion of her life feeling unworthy of pursuing her dreams and touches upon how she has worked to overcome that, giving really inspirational advice to any listeners who might be struggling with something similar. She also offers up some beautiful examples of how God has been a source of guiding light for her.

If you have a passion in your heart and a calling to do something creative such as painting but struggle with feeling like you aren’t good enough to pursue it, like you don’t have what it takes, then this conversation with Anne Neilson is for you! Be sure to also check out The Brushstrokes of Life to dive even deeper into Anne’s story!

In This Episode

[00:35] - Today’s guest is Anne Neilson!

[01:33] - Anne shares some background information about herself with us.

[02:47] - Anne discusses how she got interested in art.

[04:02] - Learn about some difficulties during Anne’s childhood.

[06:07] - Anne’s ability to be creative as a child was a bit stifled.

[07:34] - Hear about Anne’s life in her twenties.

[10:04] - How has Anne worked to overcome feeling unworthy?

[12:23] - Anne gives advice to anyone who is afraid to pursue a dream.

[14:23] - Anne takes us back to when she turned thirty.

[17:33] - Anne still has to surrender regularly.

[18:57] - What does being still look like to Anne?

[21:45] - Hear Anne read a quote from the first chapter of her book.

[22:51] - Anne encourages us that we are never too broken.

[26:23] - How has God been a guiding light in Anne’s life?

Links & Resources

Crystal Paine

Books

The Brushstrokes of Life: Discovering How God Brings Beauty and Purpose to Your Story by Anne Neilson

Social Media

Crystal Paine on Instagram

Crystal Paine on Twitter

Crystal Paine on Goodreads

Money Saving Mom

Money Saving Mom on Facebook

Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group

[email protected]

I have been getting a lot of questions lately asking for advice on how to get your spouse on board with your budget plan and/or how to get them to stop spending too much money, so we decided to address that on the podcast today. 

I share some of the questions and comments that listeners have sent in and offer some advice, such as implementing what I call the three C-O-Ms - (1) compassion, (2) communication, and (3) compromise.

When it comes to getting your spouse on board with an idea of yours, such as wanting them to be on the same budget plan as you, the idea should not actually be to get them onto your board but rather to create a whole new board together that you stand on together.

At the end of the day, you can only truly change yourself. You can’t entirely change someone else, and that’s part of the reason why doing things together is so important. I hope that this discussion is helpful to you!

In This Episode

[00:35] - Discover that today’s topic is how to get your spouse on your budget.

[01:49] - Kaitlynn has been learning to drive!

[06:11] - I have been doing a series on Instagram about what I am loving on Wednesdays.

[10:10] - I am reading Every Woman a Theologian by Phylicia Masonheimer.

[12:26] - Jesse just finished reading Leadership as an Identity by Crawford Loritts.

[13:30] - I am on day 11 of 75 Hard!

[14:31] - Learn how I have modified 75 Hard for my own needs and limitations.

[18:02] - Jesse argues that looking at food as fuel requires a mindset shift.

[19:10] - I move into talking about how to get your spouse on board with your idea.

[21:27] - I discuss the importance of compassion in a marriage.

[23:09] - Hear me give an example of how I struggled with listening.

[24:57] - I address why communication is essential.

[27:30] - My third point is compromise.

[30:36] - Jesse argues that the key word of this whole episode is together.

[32:59] - The only person you can truly change is yourself.

Links & Resources

Crystal Paine

Books

Every Woman a Theologian by Phylicia Masonheimer

Leadership as an Identity by Crawford W. Loritts

Social Media

Crystal Paine on Instagram

Crystal Paine on Twitter

Crystal Paine on Goodreads

Money Saving Mom

Money Saving Mom on Facebook

Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group

[email protected]

Today’s guest has deeply impacted my life, so it is such an honor having her on the show. Katie Davis Majors’ book Kisses from Katie had a profound impact on me when I read it years ago, and she now has a brand new book out, Safe All Along.

Katie's story of moving to Africa right out of high school, starting a nonprofit (Amazima Ministries), and eventually adopting 13 girls while living in Uganda is incredible and you can't help but be moved in hearing it. And you would think she must have a rock solid faith and never struggle with fear or anxiety. But that's not the case.

In this episode, she shares openly about her struggle with anxiety. We talk about what she has learned through it, how even writing this book was a challenge, and what it looks like to entrust our kids to God, even when the world feels so full of unknowns and scary things. I loved how she practically shared what it looked like for her recently to walk through a situation where she found herself spiraling into psychoanalyzing a situation.

Katie also gives some helpful advice on how to find time during your day to devote to God and be with Him -- something that I found so helpful because she definitely knows what it's like to have a full house and be pulled in many different directions! Her deep faith -- despite her journey with anxiety and so much upheaval in her life in the past two years -- shines through in this conversation and I love how she pointed us back to Jesus and to the truths of God's Word again and again.

In This Episode

[00:35] - Today’s guest has deeply impacted my life.

[01:49] - Katie shares some background information about herself and her family.

[07:34] - Learn about Katie’s journey struggling with anxiety.

[14:43] - The hardest thing that Katie has to trust God with is her children.

[17:48] - What it looks like to replace fear with trust in God.

[20:28] - Katie emphasizes that her process is not a magical fix-all.

[21:41] - How to interrupt her anxious thoughts.

[22:50] - Katie has gotten into the habit of asking God questions.

[27:04] - How does Katie find time to spend time in God's Word?

• Amazima Ministries
• Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption by Katie Davis Majors
• Safe All Along: Trading Our Fears and Anxieties for God’s Unshakable Peace by Katie Davis Majors
• Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids by Crystal Paine
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Today’s episode is a fun and informal one! And it actually took a turn down a path I hadn't planned and we just rolled with it. I honestly think I've never laughed this much while recording a podcast ever! I hope it maybe makes you laugh... or you can just laugh at us laughing so hard (I literally had tears streaming down my face I was laughing so hard!)

In this episode, we not only share about Kathrynne's college decision and what led to that decision (and why she's going about things in a creative and non-traditional way), but we also share about a few crazy things that happened on my book launch day. (Note: you might not want to listen to this section if you have a weak stomach.) Plus, we talk about Jesse doing the 75Hard program

In This Episode

[00:35] - Welcome to our virtual living room -- this is a very informal episode where we share some updates and stories.

[01:44] - The day of my book launch was definitely eventful, starting with a flat tire.

[06:15] - And then I ended up in the urgent care for an infection in my finger and an excruciating procedure.

[14:44] - Sharing this story sparked me to tell a funny story of my mom taking me to a medical procedure.

[16:27] - Jesse has been working on 75Hard.

[19:20] - We shift the conversation to Kathrynne's college decision.

[22:22] - Why we had Kathrynne apply to 10+ colleges.

[26:55] - We did things "backwards" and Kathrynne applied to colleges and got accepted before doing college visits.

[28:56] - Why Kathrynne has decided not to live on campus and the college she chose to go to for the first year.

• Crystal Paine Show - 181. What is Kathrynne doing after high school?
• The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most by Crystal Paine
• The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most by Crystal Paine (Buy via Baker Publishing Group)
• Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids by Crystal Paine
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Our two oldest girls, Kathrynne and Kaitlynn, returned to the podcast today to talk all about a recent trip to Europe, specifically London and Amsterdam! They share why they went on this trip, who they went with, what the highlights were, and some of the lessons they learned.

We talk about them seeing Big Ben, stage productions of Newsies and Mouse Trap, a soccer game, how beautiful Amsterdam was, the food, visiting the Anne Frank house, and their canal tour. This was such a great, character-building experience for them and I loved that they got to experience it together (even though I really wish I could have squeezed myself into their suitcase and joined them!) And I'm so happy they were willing to record this episode with me since so many of you asked for more details on their trip!

In This Episode

[00:35] - My two oldest daughters Kathrynne and Kaitlynn are on the show today!

[01:28] - Why the girls went on a trip to London.

[05:17] - What were a few of the highlights of the trip?

[09:24] - What food in London was like.

[10:52] - A soccer game was another highlight.

[12:11] - Their experience in Amsterdam.

[17:41] - Kaitlynn and Kathrynne agree that the food in Amsterdam was better than London.

[19:58] - What were some of the biggest lessons learned from this trip?

• The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most by Crystal Paine
• The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most by Crystal Paine (Buy via Baker Publishing Group)
• Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids by Crystal Paine
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Have you ever wondered how to talk to your kids about disabilities? Do you want your kids to not feel awkward around those who have special needs or disabilities, but you aren't sure how to interact or what to say and don't want to say or do the wrong thing?

In this week's episode of The Crystal Paine Show, I have a really fantastic conversation about with Laura Wifler about this very topic. We not only share practical ideas of how we've appreciated others approaching and interacting with us and our children who have disabilities, but we talk about the gift that our children have been to our homes and families and how it has deeply changed and impacted us -- in spite of the really hard parts.

Laura Wifler is the author of the new children’s book titled Like Me: A Story About Disability and Discovering God’s Image in Every Person and is also the Executive Director of Risen Motherhood, a nonprofit organization that helps mothers connect their faith to their motherhood.

Laura shares ideas of how to respond when your kids are curious about children with disabilities, giving great pointers about how to behave and what to say when your child asks questions about children they perceive as different. She also opens up and powerfully proclaims God's truths when it comes to processing through the struggles and hard things that come along with having a child who has disabilities. We also talk about how culture often defines success in one way, but how our children have given us such different perspective.

Whether you have a child with disabilities or whether you know someone who does or whether you just want to know how to better understand and walk with someone who has a child with disabilities, this is a really important conversation to listen to and I think you'll come away from it deeply moved and encouraged.

[01:09] - Laura Wifler is today’s guest!

[01:43] - A little about Laura and her family.

[02:48] - How long has Risen Motherhood existed?

[03:24] - Laura discusses what inspired her new book Like Me.

[07:31] - How to engage with people with disabilities.

[12:50] - Laura reminds us that life isn’t always about our own comfort levels.

[16:08] - Hear some examples of questions that Laura often gets.

[17:55] - How Laura gets through difficult days.

[21:34] - Laura discusses how she has processed through wondering how God could allow disabilities.

[25:02] - Success is not measured by abilities.

[29:43] - Only one thing in common is needed to build a friendship.

• Risen Motherhood
• Risen Motherhood - Instagram Page
• Risen Motherhood Podcast
• Books
• Like Me: A Story About Disability and Discovering God’s Image in Every Person by Laura Wifler
• Risen Motherhood: Gospel Hope for Everyday Moments by Laura Wifler & Emily Jensen
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

Today is the big day - the release of my new book, The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most! We're switching things up a little as Jesse interviews me!

I touch upon what makes this book unique, what tools and resources are in the book, how it changed and developed over time, and so much more. I also, as promised last week, I also read more of the introduction from the book.

It is my hope that this book helps others live with more intention, peace, and joy!

In This Episode

[00:33] - Jesse is interviewing me about my new book!

[02:34] - Learn why I initially resisted writing this book.

[04:17] - Did I learn anything from writing this book?

[08:16] - The last chapter of the book is one I never expected to write.

[10:22] - I explain why I pushed to not have a word count.

[12:12] - I describe the book’s appendix.

[13:39] - What was most surprising about writing the book and its aftermath?

[16:55] - The way you look at saving time is important.

[19:38] - I reveal my main goal behind writing the book.

[22:00] - I read more of the introduction of the book.

Links & Resources

Crystal Paine

Books

The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most by Crystal Paine

The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most by Crystal Paine (Buy via Baker Publishing Group)

Social Media

Crystal Paine on Instagram

Crystal Paine on Twitter

Crystal Paine on Goodreads

Money Saving Mom

Money Saving Mom on Facebook

Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group

[email protected]

In this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I share why we made the decision recently to close our home (at least for the next year or two) to fostering. It was a really difficult decision to make — and it wasn’t the decision we were expecting to make right now. But we spent a lot of time praying and had a lot of conversations and are grateful for the clear direction God gave us and the peace we have.

While the need for foster families is so great right now, we also know that loving and caring for our six children is our highest priority — despite our heart to make a difference in the lives of children in foster care. The beautiful thing we’ve learned the past few years is that there are many ways to make a difference without actively fostering.

In this episode we talk about decision-making, prioritizing, and why there are seasons for saying yes and seasons for saying no and both can be a good thing. This process of making this decision is part of what I talk about in my new book, The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most and I close out the podcast reading a section from it.

In This Episode

[00:36] – We are sharing about a difficult decision we made recently.

[02:23] – But first, what has been saving my life lately?

[07:57] – The story behind our decision.

[10:32] – Two of our daughters will soon be graduating.

[11:50] – Our three little ones need a lot right now.

[14:45] – Our family is currently not equipped to meet DCS’s needs of us taking in teens or large sibling groups.

[17:25] – We talk about celebrating someone’s yes and someone’s no.

[20:53] – I segue into my new book.

[21:51] – I read a section from the introduction from my book.

• The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most by Crystal Paine
• The Time-Saving Mom: How to Juggle a Lot, Enjoy Your Life, and Accomplish What Matters Most by Crystal Paine (Buy via Baker Publishing Group)
• Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids by Crystal Paine
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com

I loved getting to have this conversation with Monica Swanson, an experienced mom of four boys who has so much wisdom to share! Her new book is called Raising Amazing: Bringing Up Kids Who Love God, Like Their Family, and Do the Dishes Without Being Asked -- I mean, I'd buy the book just to have someone share how to get your kids to do the dishes without being asked! :)

In this episode, I asked her to share more about this book, we talk about her book Boy Mom, too, and how she has fostered in her kids friendship with each other, love for God, and a sense of responsibility.

She also gives some helpful advice such as how to motivate kids who are failing in school, how to be an effective parent while also taking care of yourself and your marriage, how to maintain a loving relationship with teenagers who are quickly approaching adulthood, and more!

If you are a parent, if you ever plan to be a parent, or if you interact with kids and teens, I think this episode will really encourage you!

In This Episode

[00:46] - Today’s guest is Monica Swanson, author of Raising Amazing.

[01:27] - Monica shares about her life in Hawaii raising four boys.

[04:15] - How did Monica encourage her sons to be friends with each other?

[05:25] - What it looks like to set an example of loving Jesus with our kids.

[06:35] - The million dollar question: how do we teach our kids to do the dishes -- without being asked?!

[11:29] - What does all-in parenting mean practically?

[12:59] - But what if my kids are unmotivated?

[14:26] - How to set boundaries well, even if our kids resist them.

[18:34] - Is it possible to parent well without making our kids our entire identity?

[20:46] - All-in parenting isn’t getting our self-worth from our kids’ successes.

[22:59] - All-in parenting is not a formula or raising perfect kids.

[26:15] - How to nurture your marriage in the midst of raising kids.

[27:44] - What does fun look like at Monica's house?

[29:13] - Monica offers insight into having kids on the cusp of adulthood.

• Raising Amazing: Bringing Up Kids Who Love God, Like Their Family, and Do the Dishes Without Being Asked by Monica Swanson
• Boy Mom: What Your Son Needs Most from You by Monica Swanson and Wendy Speake
• Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids by Crystal Paine
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal @ moneysavingmom.com