Crystal Paine Show

If you were to drop by our home on any given day right now, you’d likely find that there are dishes in the sink, crumbs on the counter, and baby toys on the floor. My bed is probably unmade. I might not be out of my PJs yet. And it may smell like a very recent poopy diaper.

I’ll be holding a baby or running after a toddler. I will invariably need to leave the room multiple times to change a diaper or make a bottle or try to soothe a little one who is fussy.

There will likely be teens coming and going — some I birthed, some who are just hanging out at our house for the day or spending the night (the perk of having an extroverted teen: you never know who they will have invited over!). I might look a little tired — since I haven’t slept through the night in over a year. And my kids will most definitely be asking a few times what they can have for a snack — and I might be telling them that there’s cereal to eat, but don’t eat all of it up since that’s what we’re having for dinner, too. 

My hospitality muscle has grown far beyond what I believed I was capable of. My heart has been beautifully broken and expanded. And I’ve gotten to see need in our community in an up close and personal way... and my priorities have shifted in a pretty seismic way as a result.

I can’t go back to living in a safe and sterile bubble anymore, shielded from the needs and brokenness... & I have no desire to. Some day, I might have a clean room, clean bathroom, and get an unbroken night’s sleep all on the same day again. But for now, I get to see God’s faithfulness and goodness and grace show up for me each and every day — in the midst of the messes and my weakness.

Yes, we’ve traded in a quieter, calmer, more organized life for one that might look and seem a little (or a lot!) chaotic and loud... and yet, I wouldn’t trade the lessons we’ve learned or the blessings we’ve experienced or the relationships we’ve built for anything!

P.S. Please know there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a clean bathroom and a good night’s rest. This is just the season of life God has called me to right now and I want to embrace it wholeheartedly and see the gifts and beauty in it! ❤️

In This Episode: 

[00:33] Apparently podcasting equipment is the new hot thing for teenagers. ;)

[01:52] We recorded this on National Donut Day.

[04:28] Jesse is heading out to camp with the youth boys. 

[07:09] Water is saving my life these days. Learn why. 

[10:13] I’ve been slowly reading Don’t Miss Out by Jeannie Cunnion.

[12:26] Learn the inspiration for this episode. 

[16:47] I’ve been thinking about how messy our house is right now but how peace-filled our lives are. 

[18:15] Saying yes to God oftentimes means saying yes to the mess. 

[21:18] I spend a lot of time in God’s word and praying throughout my day. 

[23:32] It’s important to understand that you can’t say yes to everything. You have to rest. 

[25:54] Why resting in God’s love is imperative to finding peace in the chaos. 

• Don't Miss Out by Jeannie Cunnion
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

What’s holding you back from living out your calling or doing that thing you have always dreamed of doing? Could it be lies you are believing that are holding you back from facing your fears?

Maybe you feel like that dream of yours is just too big or too out-of-reach or too impossible? If so, I think you'll be really encouraged by this week's episode of the Crystal Paine Show.

I sit down and have a conversation with Paul Agone, husband, father of four, blogger, podcaster, and author of multiple books -- including his newest book, 25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing.

In this episode, not only do we talk about how lies can paralyze us, but we also dive deep into Paul's story and he shares really honestly how he's found the courage and the motivation to keep doing the next right thing, keep taking the next step -- even when it felt like it wasn't leading anywhere and he kept hitting dead ends. His perseverance and faith in what he shared (and has lived out!) really inspired me -- and I think it will inspire you, too!

Also, I love the wisdom he drops at the very end of the episode about awkwardness. You don't want to miss it!

[01:19] Learn more about Paul and why he’s so passionate about dispelling lies. 

[04:09] How did he choose the 25 lies in his book? 

[05:33] Learn more about the story that he opens up the book with. 

[07:57] What does he mean that we have to “war for hope”? 

[11:26] His advice for the person who is looking to make that first step into change.

[14:38] How did he get to where he is today? 

[18:57] Learn more about how he’s battled his own lies. 

[22:32] How do we help the next generation to skip the belief in the lies? 

[26:04] The awkward moments are when the beauty in life happens.

• Episode 120: How to Nix Your Negative Narrative (with Jon Acuff)
• 25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing by Paul Angone
• Paul’s Website
• Paul on LinkedIn 
• Paul on Twitter
• Paul on Facebook
• Paul’s Books
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

Just for fun, Jesse and I took the popular Share Your Assumptions About Me Instagram story idea and turned it into a podcast episode. We asked for people to share their assumptions about us and then we chose a number of them to respond/react to.

We addressed assumptions that Jesse gets nervous coming on the podcast, that we never yell or fight, that we don't have a pet, that we eat a lot of ice cream, that we're more wild and crazy than we let on, that I wear the pants in the family, that we never curse, that we expect our kids to follow the lifestyle we were brought up in, that we met at a Christian college, and much more!

In This Episode: 

[00:33] We are tackling your assumptions as per the popular Instagram story idea right now.

[03:23] Does Jesse get nervous answering questions on the podcast?

[04:16] Someone assumes that Jesse and I never yell or get loud with the kids.

[05:59] Is our family extremely close and always together?

[08:39] We actually do have a pet. A hedgehog.

[10:30] Are we a fun couple?

[11:20] Another follower assumes that we’re gun enthusiasts.

[12:53] We did not meet at a Christian college.

[13:53] We definitely have moments when we argue and don't get along.

[16:40] One person thinks we’re a lot more wild and crazy than we let on.

[21:14] Another assumption is that we expect our kids to follow the lifestyle we were brought up in.

[23:31] Is Jesse more of a clean freak than me?

[25:45] Which of us is more quiet than the other?

[31:36] Do we curse?

[34:18] TV is not a big thing in our house.

[36:01] Multiple people have assumptions on who wears the pants in the family.

• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

So often, when I share about something we're doing -- sticking with a $70 grocery budget, staying out of debt, choosing to save up and pay cash for something, fostering, etc., people will immediately write in and let me know why they can't do what we're doing.

Here's the thing: I don't share what I do online expecting that everyone is going to do exactly what we're doing. Foster care might not be a possibility for you. You might be in a situation where a mortgage is a smarter idea than renting and saving up to pay cash. Maybe you live in an area where groceries are most expensive or there aren't stores with great markdowns.

If you see someone else doing something and your first response is to list the reasons why you can't do what they are doing, I challenge you to stop saying, "I can't." Instead, ask yourself where the resistance is coming from. Is there part of you that feels like you want to cut your grocery bill or get out of debt or pay cash for something or be involved in foster care?

In this episode, we encourage you (and ourselves!) to stop saying, "I can't" and to ask instead, "What can I do?"

We get really practical in discussing this. Plus, I recount an embarrassing moment to Jesse that happened on a radio interview that day, we discuss his receding hairline, we talk about books we are reading, we get on a rabbit trail about how he and I process things so differently, and I talk about my press-on nails. Yes, all in about 30 minutes. :) 

In This Episode: 

[00:33] Today, let's chat about removing “I can’t” from your vocabulary.

[01:21] But first, an embarrassing story about a radio interview I had recently.

[06:25] Thinking and talking is definitely a skill many women can attest to. How about men?

[07:27] Why husbands should and shouldn’t ask what their wives are thinking. :)

[08:19] My press on nails are saving my life this week.

[13:38] Listen as I set up Jesse’s life-saving tip for this week.

[15:32] Jesse shares the routine that is now saving his life.

[17:51] I’ve been reading Praying Mom by Brooke McGlothlin.

[20:12] Jesse is reading Cross Shadow by Andrew Huff.

[20:40] Stop saying “I can’t.”

[22:35] Why resistance to change turns into “I can’t” statements.

[24:24] If you’re coming up to the wall but you have a desire, take this challenge.

[25:53] Think of what you can do versus what you can’t.

[27:42] Is your response really “I can’t” or is it “I don’t want to?”

[30:49] Maybe you’re not going to be able to accomplish that big thing, but it may be time for a small change.

• Episode 120: How to Nix Your Negative Narrative (with Jon Acuff)
• imPRESS Nails
• Praying Mom by Brooke McGlothlin
• Cross Shadow by Andrew Huff
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

It has been just over a year since we brought home Champ, our first long-term placement in our foster care journey. It's been a year of learning, growing, and riding a rollercoaster of emotions.

In this episode of the podcast, Jesse and I sit down and recount some of the most unexpected lessons -- the grief of goodbye, walking through deep sadness with our kids, what we've learned through reunification, how it has impacted our kids, thoughts on caring for a child with special needs, and how our faith has been strengthened and changed through it.

We also talk about a book I'm reading, a book Jesse finished, plus the foster care support group and how sometimes stepping into awkward things can turn into really awesome relationships.

In This Episode: 

[00:33] It’s foster care awareness month and we’re sharing our takeaways from this past year of fostering.

[01:51] My foster care support group is saving my life these days.

[05:42] Jesse finished the book he’s been reading and is still recommending it to me.

[08:49] I’ve been reading Can’t Steal My Joy by Bekah Bowman.

[11:35] Okay, let’s talk all things foster care and the unexpected lessons we’ve learned along the way.

[13:20] Dealing with the grief that comes along with reunification was a huge lesson learned.

[15:30] Our kids have also been impacted and given the opportunity to learn how to grieve.

[17:12] How our grief impacted our initial experience with Baby D.

[20:04] Fostering has impacted our kids and we went into that with eyes wide open, but it’s also given them a chance to grow so much.

[23:01] It’s been amazing to watch our kids become so attached to these wonderful children.

[26:02] Fear is normal. Expect the unexpected.

[27:55] Foster care has also changed my perspective on hot button topics in the world.

[30:14] This past year has deepened our faith like never before.

• Libby App
• The Devil’s Hand by Jack Carr
• Can’t Steal My Joy by Bekah Bowman
• Episode 65: Our Journey to Becoming Foster Parents
• Episode 89: An Update on Our Foster Care Journey
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

For years, I let the belief that I was shy and introverted hold me back. While on the outside, I might have seemed like I was outgoing in some situations, I was constantly second-guessing and psycho-analyzing everything I did… "Do they like me? Did I disappoint them? Should I have been more outgoing or less outgoing? Are they distancing themself from me? Did I do something?"

It was not until I confronted some big lies I was believing about myself and started understanding and believing how much I was loved by God that I was able to overcome a lot of my lifelong insecurity and start walking in confidence.

Knowing how much I was loved by God meant that I didn't need to find my worth and validation in others. This allowed me to love much more freely, deeply, and wholeheartedly because it was no longer about what other people thought of me.

In this episode, Jesse and I talk about what this transformation has meant, my commitment to open up our home every single week for an entire year, how this changed our lives, and how I've surprised myself by becoming so much more extroverted the last few years.

We also talk about two books we're reading, a new organization system for Baby D's medical supplies, and a YouTube show Kierstyn loves.

In This Episode: 

[00:33] We are chatting all about how I became more extroverted.

[02:14] The organization system that Jesse put together for Baby D’s medical supplies is saving our lives.

[05:32] Rachel and the Treeschoolers is saving my life because Kierstyn loves it.

[07:16] I’m actually listening to a book and reading a book because I’ve had time to read.

[09:41] Jesse is still reading The Devil’s Hand by Jack Carr.

[12:08] Would Jesse agree that I have become more extroverted?

[13:43] I do still get “peopled out” and need to recharge by being alone.

[16:14] Did insecurity drive her shyness and introversion?

[19:01] God had to change my heart in how I viewed myself.

[21:10] You can’t say you are or aren’t something if you’ve never tried it.

[23:31] I am not the shy and insecure person I once was because I let go of those limiting beliefs.

[25:11] What limiting beliefs are you letting dictate your life?

• Rachel and the Treeschoolers
• That Sounds Fun by Annie F. Downs
• Libby App
• Hoopla
• The Devil’s Hand by Jack Carr
• Just Open the Door by Jen Schmidt
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

When Jesse and I were talking about what topic to tackle for this week's episode, I said something to the affect of, "Well, I've gone on almost 60 other podcasts, radio shows, and TV shows talking about Love-Centered Parenting, but I've yet to really dive into the topic on my own podcast. Maybe that would be a good topic for this week's episode??

If you've been considering getting a copy of my new book, Love-Centered Parenting, but you've wondered if it would be a fit for you, be sure to listen in to this week's episode. I share more about how often guilt and stress as burdens comes from misunderstanding what our job is as a parent. I also dive into the main meat of the book and talk about the four choices I believe every parent should make -- to lean in and love, listen well, lead with humility, and let go.

We also talk about how our Emergency Fund has been such a blessing recently, how we saved a lot of money on replacing our HVAC units, and a class I recently finished taking.

• The Bible Project
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

In light of so many new and unexpected things in our lives recently, Jesse and I are chatting all about how to maintain a positive attitude in difficult seasons.

One of the most important things for me is to focus on how much I am loved by God. Remembering and resting in His love and faithfulness changes my perspective on life. In addition, starting my day with praying over my day and handing my fears and concerns over to the Lord is so helpful.

I also try to steep myself in truth and try to kick out all the lies as they enter my brain and heart. It’s just like what Jon Acuff was talking about on our last episode and curating the Soundtracks in my brain. This has been so helpful in sharing light and life during these times.

Recently, choosing an attitude of gratitude has made such an impact. If I want to feel frustrated by a situation, to instead stop and say, “What can I be grateful for?”

Listen in to hear all six of my recommendations for maintaining a positive attitude during difficult or even just times when you feel zapped of joy in your everyday life.

[00:33] My voice is barely hanging on due to allergies and hospital time with Baby D.

[01:44] Jesse and I recently watched a movie together -- something we haven't done in awhile!

[04:43] Jack Carr has a new book out and Jesse is now reading it.

[05:58] I’m reading The Simple Difference by Becky Keife.

[07:56] Bringing life and light to every interaction is saving my life right now.

[09:53] Why we’ve been spending so much time at the hospital these days.

[12:02] The hospital system’s app and centralized portal has been saving Jesse’s life.

[13:02] How to maintain a positive attitude in difficult seasons.

[13:35] One of the things that helps me the most is remembering how much I’m loved by God.

[15:38] It’s also important to me to start my day with prayer and inviting God into the inner workings of my day.

[17:10] I also steep myself in the truth and call out lies when they enter my brain and heart.

[19:56] I’m choosing to practice an attitude of gratitude.

[22:26] Look for the things to be grateful for and you’ll find them.

[24:25] What does Jesse do to refuel and take refuge?

[27:02] Social rest is very important to me as well and helps me to refuel, so I need time with others.

[28:07] I also use flare-prayers when I have overwhelming moments.

• A Call to Spy on Amazon
• The Devil’s Hand by Jack Carr
• The Simple Difference by Becky Keife
• Episode 120: How to Nix Your Negative Narrative (with Jon Acuff)
• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

Do you have a soundtrack on repeat in your head that is repeating negative things and holding you back? Many of us do -- often without even realizing it!

Jon Acuff joins me on the podcast this week to share about how he discovered these soundtracks in his own life, how they were affecting him in a negative way, and how choosing a new soundtrack has changed his life.

Jon is a best-selling author and motivational speaker and he’s spent a lot of time over the past few years paying attention to and studying how our mindset impacts our beliefs and actions.

In this interview, we talk about his method for identifying and replacing broken soundtracks (he shares some great questions to ask yourself to know if what is playing on repeat in your head is a soundtrack you should be listening to!) He shares very personally how this has changed his approach and made such a difference in his life.

No matter where you are at in life, I think this episode will challenge you in a really good way!

In This Episode: 

[00:33] Can you guess who my special guest is?

[01:50] Jon shares his background and how he became an author and a speaker.

[03:53] What a soundtrack is to Jon.

[05:41] How he applied the message of this book to the actual writing of this book.

[08:50] Practical ways to shift your soundtrack.

[12:19] Once you’ve identified your broken soundtracks, what’s next?

[16:13] How do you choose which soundtracks to listen to and change?

[18:24] One of his favorite chapters from the book.

[20:41] What do you do when the stress creeps in?

[23:17] His thoughts on losing an opportunity and how he worked through it.

[25:00] The one thing he hopes people take away from his book.

• Jon Acuff
• Jon's Instagram account
• Soundtracks by Jon Acuff
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

Do you struggle to set good parameters for social media? In this week's podcast episode, Jesse and I tackle a question from a listener about how we set boundaries for our phones (trust me, we're a work in progress when it comes to this, as you'll find out in the episode!)

We talk about different strategies we've implemented, why I take one day off from posting on social media each week, how Jesse had Kathrynne set up accountability for him, what I learned from my time-tracking experiment, mistakes we've made, and how we're wanting to model setting an example for our kids.

We also chat about what it's like to have a teen driver, how we're seeking to expose Baby D to Spanish in our home (and different resources we're using for that), and how early morning ice skating sessions for Kaitlynn has been making such a difference for Jesse.

In This Episode: 

[00:33] We’re having a conversation about phones, social media, and being present with our kids.

[03:12] Not only do we have a new driver, she’s also taking the kids to and from school!

[05:58] I am learning Spanish because Baby D’s family speaks Spanish and Duo Lingo is saving my life.

[10:42] Ice skating has been saving Jesse’s life because it’s helping him get up earlier.

[13:49] Hear the listener's question that inspired this episode.

[17:35] Why I take time away from my phone.

[20:30] Creating your own boundaries is also modeling behavior for your kids.

[22:28] You can create parental controls on your own phone to stay accountable.

[24:26] Plus, you don’t have to do this perfectly. Give yourself grace.

[25:40] Tracking your time is an amazing way to see what you do with your day.

[28:28] Learn my big takeaways from tracking my time.

[31:08] Batching has been a lifesaver.

• DuoLingo
• Off the Clock by Laura Vanderkam
• 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

The podcast is available on iTunes, Android, Stitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player here. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.