Crystal Paine Show

I recently shared some strategies on Instagram that have helped me to feel less stressed:

1) Recognize that in most cases, stress is a choice. No one can *make* me stressed (or angry or sad or happy, for that matter). I can choose my response in any situation. I can’t always choose my circumstances, but I can choose my response. And my response is my responsibility.

2) See stress as an indicator that something is out of line. Instead of just assuming stress is a normal, unavoidable part of life, view it as a warning flag or check engine light. When I start to feel that tension rising in my chest, don’t just think, “Here we go again.

3) Ask myself: What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? Where is this coming from? I seek to go deeper than just the surface level feelings and keep asking why until I get to the root cause. For me, stress is almost always the result of me trying to micromanage or control something or someone in my life instead of resting in the Lord.

Note: So often, we want to just slap a bandage on stress (“take a bubble bath!” Or “eat some ice cream!”) instead of doing to work to dig into what’s underneath our stress and to unearth that and process through that so that we don’t just keep going back to the same feelings of stress over and over again.

4) Once I’ve identified the root cause of my stress, then ask: What can I do about this? Maybe some fresh air and sunshine or a nap or verbally processing with a friend or asking for help? For me, one of the best things is for me to stop, set my timer for a few minutes, take some deep breaths, and literally verbally release the tension I’m feeling to God. To tell Him out loud exactly what I’m feeling and how I’m scared or worried or concerned or upset about a situation and then to verbally release that situation to Him and ask for His help. Many times, I will repeat this exercise a few times until I feel the weight lifting from my shoulders.

These four mindsets/strategies have completely reframed the way I view stress and have allowed me to live with a whole lot less tension and a whole lot more calmness — no matter what is going on around me!

In This Episode: 

[00:33] This is the earliest we’ve ever recorded a podcast and we’re sharing strategies to stress less.  

[02:04] Kathrynne is an official driver!

[04:27] A reader wrote in to share why she gets a laugh out of our introduction.

[07:17] A pill crusher is saving Jesse’s life right now. Learn why!

[09:16] Bonus life-saver for our new little baby boy: an infusion pump. 

[10:23] Just doing the next thing is saving my life because there is a lot going on.

[13:00] Jesse has a book update because he’s finally reading a new book!

[14:11] I recently finished listening to Before I Called You Mine.

[16:24] How stress used to define me.

[19:16] These four strategies have worked for me, but a caveat before we start talking about them...

[20:14] I had to recognize in most cases that stress is a choice. 

[23:13] Jesse clarifies the choice you have in reacting to stressful situations. 

[25:34] I’ve also learned to see stress as an indicator that something is out of line. 

[27:18] I now stop, ask myself what I’m feeling, and then take a moment to listen to my body. 

[30:45] Next, I ask myself what I can do about my stress triggers. 

[33:27] If I stop and acknowledge, I’m more likely to find peace around the situation.

• • Pill Crusher
  • Infusion Pump
  • Right Cross by Andrew Huff
  • Before I Called You Mine by Nicole Deese
  • Jesse's Struggle with Anxiety (podcast episode)
  • 10 Days to Be a Happier Mom
  • Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
  • MoneySavingMom.com
  • My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
  • Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

In this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I sit down and give you a fun life update — sharing all about our wild week full of a trip to Disney for Jesse, saying yes to a sweet little foster baby who has medical complexities, learning how to care for him in the middle of all the whirlwind of book launch, and getting the stomach bug thrown in there for good measure. Yes, all of that happened in the span of just one week! 

Be sure to listen in for all the details and how God has been so faithful to carry us through!

In This Episode: 

[00:33] Whew! It’s hard to know how to even describe this past week!

[02:16] Jesse went to Disney, we have a new baby, I launched a book, and we got the stomach bug!

[03:29] Jesse shares more about this year’s Week Without Walls.

[05:23] What it’s like to chaperone high schoolers at Disney.

[07:07] What’s the one big thing that stands out for him?

[09:27] While Jesse was on the trip, my mom stayed with us to help with Kierstyn because I had a lot of media planned to do for my book launch.

[10:45] Little did we dream that in the middle of a very full week, we’d also get a call from a DCS worker about a possible placement for a 7-month-old baby with medical complexities.

[14:00] I called Jesse and we both felt very strongly we were supposed to say yes.

[17:05] It was a wild few days, but we got to see God show up and show Himself strong on our behalf!

[19:29] We felt much more prepared for this case because of our experience with Champ.

[23:08] …and then Kierstyn started throwing up and a stomach bug has now circulated the house.

[24:36] Which means the book launch was nothing like I thought it would be but it gave me ample opportunity to live out the message of Love-Centered Parenting!

• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10-Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

Just for fun, this week on the podcast to celebrate the launch of Love-Centered Parenting, we turn the tables and Jesse hosts the show and interviews me about why I wrote another book when I never thought I would, a real behind-the-scenes look at how I wrote this book, what the editorial process is like for writing a book, plus much more!

He asks me some of his own questions + questions you all submitted, including:

• Did I plan to write another book? (Spoiler alert: the answer is no!)
• How was the writing process of this book compared to my other books?
• What was the most difficult part of writing Love-Centered Parenting?
• What are the best and worst aspects of writing a book?
• How do you find inspiration for what to write about?
• Could a non-Christian benefit from Love-Centered Parenting?
• How do you get started writing a book?
• And more!

[00:33] Welcome back! We've got a new host today because it's a special week!

[02:37] Did I intend to ever write another book?

[05:34] Why this writing process was the best out of all the books I’ve written.

[08:05] What was the most difficult of this process?

[09:57] The best and worst aspects of writing a book and getting it published.

[13:07] How I find a focus, topic, or direction for my books.

[15:17] My advice for how to start writing your first book.

[18:50] How did I come across my current publisher and agent?

[21:45] Have I ever gotten tired of the subject that I am writing about?

[23:49] Can a non-religious person benefit from this book?

[25:09] What I’m most excited about with this book.

[28:43] Jesse shares his perspective and passion for this book, as well.

• Love-Centered Parenting
• Published by Chandler Bolt
• Jennifer Dukes Lee
• 10-Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

In this age of hurry and hustle where so many feel overworked and overwhelmed, is it possible to slow down? Is it possible to be successful and fulfilled in life while living at a slower pace?

What would it take and what would it look like to live in a space of rest with an unhurried heart? In this episode, Jennifer Dukes Lee and I sit down and talk about what being an accidental farmer's wife has taught her about seasons and the importance of growing slow.

If your heart feels hurried and your calendar feels chaotic, I believe that this episode will serve as a balm to your busy soul.

In This Episode: 

[00:33] Welcome to one of my favorite people and writers, Jennifer Dukes Lee.

[03:45] Learn more about Jennifer, her story, and her family.

[06:15] Let's talk about what a hurried heart is. Can you have a hurried heart even if you're not completely overwhelmed with commitments and to do's? Is it possible that you can also have an unhurried heart even if your plate and calendar are brimming full?

[10:16] Why Jennifer wrote Growing Slow.

[12:55] What was her season of life like when she wrote this book?

[17:16] Jennifer speaks directly to the woman who feels that she is slipping away.

[19:06] What are some of the practices that Jennifer uses to un-hurry her heart?

[24:21] How to start changing your mindset overall.

[26:46] Jennifer talks us through through a practical example of walking through her process.

[28:18] Has she seen true transformation since starting on this journey?

• Jennifer’s Website
• Growing Slow by Jennifer Dukes Lee
• Growing Slow Bible Study: A 6-Week Guided Journey to Un-Hurrying Your Heart
• Jennifer on Facebook
• Jennifer on Instagram
• Jennifer on Twitter
• Jennifer on Pinterest
• 10-Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

The podcast is available on iTunes, Android, Stitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player here. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

We finally made it happen -- after having to cancel due to the snow and ice the week before. Angie Smith came over to record a podcast... and we covered a lot of ground in our short interview! Angie is one of those people who is always so honest and also hilarious. Every time I'm with her, she makes me think with her deep questions AND she makes me laugh until the tears come with her funny stories!

In this episode, we begin by recounting how Angie and I met at a blogging conference a number of years ago and her first words to me the first time we met actually played a profound part in our family’s journey. We also talk about how she was instrumental in connecting us with a group of people who became our lifeline after we moved to TN. (And don’t miss her funny story about the time we were on a cruise together and she forgot to pack the bottom half of her wardrobe!)

Angie didn’t grow up in the church and she shares really candidly in the episode about her faith journey, her struggles with doubt, how she is processing and wrestling through grief in her life, plus really practical advice for women who want to study the Bible but don't know where to start and feel like they don't have time to "do it right".

If you've ever had doubts about God, struggled to really believe that the Bible is true, or felt like you want to deepen your faith or grow closer to the Lord but you just don't know how to do so, I hope this conversation gives you a big dose of encouragement (and hopefully a few laughs, too!)

In This Episode: 

[01:19] Angie is one of the reasons that we moved to Tennessee. Learn more about that.

[04:34] ...and then there was the time that Angie completely forgot the bottom half of her wardrobe.

[06:15] Angie shares a little about herself and her family.

[08:43] How Covid has impacted the way Angie is approaching her online ministry.

[12:44] Why did she wait so many years to release another book?

[15:36] Did she wrestle with some of her beliefs as she wrote this book?

[20:07] Angie’s words for those who are struggling with their faith in these difficult times.

[23:27] How is she processing through the grief of her twins getting ready to go off to college?

[27:51] Where can busy moms and women start to dive deeper into scripture?

• Woven by Angie Smith
• Angie Smith Ministries
• Angie's Instagram account
• 10-Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

The podcast is available on iTunes, Android, Stitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player here. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Last week, while the kids were off of school because of the ice and snow, Jesse and I sat down and interviewed Kathrynne, our 16-year-old.

She answered some of your questions that you'd submitted on topics like:

• how parents can build stronger relationships with their teens
• why she feels like she can trust us
• her honest thoughts on kids and social media
• how she feels most heard and understood (and what makes her feel like we're not listening/paying attention)
• what learning to drive has been like, and more!

In This Episode: 

[00:33] We were snowed in… and then we were iced in!

[02:52] Kathrynne is joining us to answer some of your questions.

[04:39] How does Kathrynne feel about my active Instagram presence?

[05:42] What makes her feel most heard and understood?

[07:15] She shares the things we do that make her feel like she isn’t being heard.

[09:57] What advice would she give other kids younger than her?

[12:01] How can parents try to cultivate trust-filled relationships with their younger children?

[14:59] Why parents shouldn’t pre-decide that the teenage years are going to be hard.

[17:13] Ways parents can reconnect with teens who seem really distant.

[18:44] Things to consider regarding social media during the teenage years.

[20:48] Teens want to be able to make their own decisions, especially regarding their time and interests.

[27:24] What’s it been like learning how to drive?

• Love-Centered Parenting
• 10-Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

How are you preparing for the college years? The question came into one of my Q&A Saturday features on Instagram stories recently.

I loved how the question was worded because it wasn't, "How are you financially preparing for college?" Or, "How are you preparing your kids academically for college?" Or even, "How are your kids preparing for college?"

Instead, it was more of a holistic approach about preparing for the college years as a whole. In this week's episode of The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I take a deep dive into our thoughts on this topic.

We discuss things like:

• Why we're not requiring our kids to go to college and how we're approaching the topic of college
• Why we're focusing most on preparing our kids to be adults not college students
• What success looks like as a parent (and it's maybe not what you think!)
• How we start slowly "launching" our kids from the time they are little.
• Why we have lots of discussions and debates in our home
• Why one of our goals as parents is to give our kids opportunities to stand alone
• How we're seeking to build strong foundations for our marriage in preparation for our kids to be grown and gone

[00:33] We are chatting all about how we’re preparing for the college years.

[02:57] Why we’re not taking the same approach for each child.

[05:33] College isn’t necessarily the one way to a successful future.

[06:28] Our main focusing is preparing the kids to be adults.

[09:07] What is the real marker of success as a parent?

[11:41] Letting our kids figure out situations on their own should start at very early ages.

[14:14] Why we have had lots of conversations with our kids throughout their childhoods.

[16:41] It’s important to teach your kids how to think logically and thoroughly.

[20:07] One of the books I’ve been reading lately is Mama Bear Apologetics -- I think it's a worthwhile read for every Christian parent.

[21:08] We need to expose our children to different viewpoints and activities.

[24:18] We’ve also spent a lot of time preparing for and allowing our children to have moments where they have to stand on their own to build their confidence.

[25:38] It has also been extremely important for us to approach the college years with lots of prayer.

[27:07] This whole process is not just about launching your kids.

[30:09] What advice do you have for us?

• Mama Bear Apologetics
• 10-Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

It's time for another edition of Answering Your Burning Questions! About once a quarter, Jesse and I sit down and devote a podcast episode to your questions. In this episode, we answer these questions:

• Is Jesse still doing CrossFit? (We also share a little more about current workout routines.)
• What top three tips would you give to your pre-married selves?
• When do you plan to retire?
• What are your favorite activities to do with each of the kids?
• Should you pay off your mortgage or invest the money?
• Did you record your own podcast intro?

As usual, we also banter about other things: like the phrase "eat crow" -- which I recently discovered a lot of people have never heard of before, an electronic tool that is saving both of our lives (and I can't believe we waited so long to get this!), plus a book I recently finished.

In This Episode: 

[00:43] It’s that time again! We’re answering your burning questions.

[01:30] What we learned about the phrase, “eat crow.”

[03:43] The same product is again saving our lives this week… a video baby monitor.

[06:20] We are having trouble finding the exact model to share but here’s a bit more about it.

[08:22] I just finished, The Things We Cannot Say by Kelly Rimmer.

[10:00] First question, does Jesse still do CrossFit?

[13:00] The top three tips we’d give our pre-married selves.

[15:52] Stop trying to fix your spouse!

[19:16] Our favorite activities to do with the kids.

[22:56] Is retirement in our future? What would it look like?

[24:40] Does Jesse think it’s smarter to invest or pay off your mortgage?

[30:14] No, I did not do the intro to the podcast. Learn more about the process.

• The Things We Cannot Say by Kelly Rimmer
• 10-Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

“This was the worst garbage. I picked this up as an audiobook to listen to. Her voice is exceptionally annoying.”

This was one of many similar reviews of my second book. While there were lots of kind reviews, all I could hear was that I should not ever narrate an audiobook again because my nasally voice irritated people. I was embarrassed that I had ever considered doing it myself.

So guess what I did? I told my publishers that I didn’t want to narrate my third book and they hired a professional voice artist to record it.

Over the past 5+ years since my third book came out, God has done a lot of life-altering work in my heart. He’s helped me to stop living my life to please, appease, and perform for others. He’s taught me that I don’t need to chase after the approval or affirmation of others. That I don’t need 5-star reviews or glowing accolades to be enough.

I am enough in Him. He loves me for exactly who I am because of Whose I am. And I can stand confident in Christ and live as loved, because I am already pre-approved by Him.

And that’s why I stopped letting negative reviews stifle me in insecurity. Maybe my voice isn’t professional voice actor level, but I’m not going to let that hold me back from sharing the message God has laid on my heart through live video, Instagram story, and podcasts.

I want to improve and grow and work on honing my craft, but I’m not going to sit around and wait until I can please everyone to show up on video and podcasts. Because if I wait until I can please everyone, I’ll be waiting the rest of my life.

Recently, I had the privilege of recording the audiobook for my soon-to-be-released book, Love-Centered Parenting. As I spent hours behind this mic, I felt such quiet confidence, passion, and excitement for this message... and such gratitude that I no longer have to live in fear of what others will think. I am loved by my Heavenly Father and that is enough. Period.

This week on the podcast, Jesse and I sit down and have a conversation where I share more about this journey and why I'm not living in dread of the negative reviews I know will be coming for my new book. If you've ever experienced negative reviews or critical comments of any kind, I think this episode will encourage you.

Plus, we also talk about the Bible reading plans we are using right now, a 5-star book I recently read, being the parents of a newly-16-year-old, and a tip from one of our listeners on jalapenos. 

In This Episode: 

[01:10] We are now the parents of a 16-year-old. What??

[03:03] Some quick tips to make jalapenos less spicy from one of our listeners.

[05:19] The She Reads Truth/He Reads Truth Devotional Bible plans are saving our lives.

[10:51] I’ve been reading Something Needs to Change by David Platt.

[13:05] Learn more about the 10-day challenge that I ran for becoming a happier mom.

[14:56] We are talking about negative reviews. Learn why!

[17:37] Why I looked at the 1-star reviews of my past audiobooks.

[19:58] It’s so important for me to realize that we can’t please everyone and that’s okay.

[22:44] Don’t make it the goal to offend people but know that you aren’t for everyone.

[23:47] What to do when you get negative feedback.

[27:15] Negative reviews also do their job in keeping you humble.

• She Reads Truth
• He Reads Truth
• Something Needs to Change by David Platt
• 10-Days to Be a Happier Mom
• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

Jesse and I celebrated our 18th anniversary recently (our marriage is officially an adult!) and we had fun sitting down and recounting 10 lessons we've learned in 18 years of marriage.

We talk about lessons like: if your wife says she's not hungry, still get food for her and why daily gestures are more important than celebrating Hallmark holidays. We also share honestly about a simple phrase that has completely changed the way we communicate and how I completely blew an opportunity when Jesse wanted to buy me a car. Plus, we share how forgiveness and praying together and choosing to love (even when we don't like each other!) makes such a difference.

Whether you've been married for 18 days or 18 years (or longer!) or you are planning to get married in the future, I hope this episode encourages you.

In This Episode: 

[01:43] The first lesson we’ve learned in our 18 years of marriage.

[03:20] Ways we’ve learned to talk about feelings without being accusatory with each other.

[07:12] Laughter is the glue to a strong marriage.

[09:33] The importance of pursuing individual interests.

[13:41] Don’t assume that your spouse processes at the same speed that you do.

[18:49] Daily gestures are so much more important than big moments.

[22:39] We’ve learned to express gratitude in our relationship.

[28:28] Spouses don’t always accept and give love in the same ways.

[29:28] Love is a choice rather than just a feeling.

[30:42] It’s so important to ask for forgiveness often.

[32:50] Pray together!

• Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
• MoneySavingMom.com
• My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
• Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]

The podcast is available on iTunes, Android, Stitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player here. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.