In this episode of Cults and the Culting of America, hosts Scot Loyd and Daniella Mestyanek Young ("the Knitting Cult Lady") interview Ruwan, a former member of OneTaste, a so-called "orgasm cult" centered around female sexuality and human connection. Ruwan recounts his two years in the organization, explaining how he was drawn in by its promises of intimacy and meaning, but soon became entangled in manipulation, labor exploitation, and coercive sales tactics.

The discussion highlights parallels between OneTaste and other coercive groups, including the use of sex as recruitment, redefining language to control members' worldview, punishing dissent, and demanding lifelong commitment. Ruwan also reflects on the psychological toll of leaving, the social shunning he endured, and how indoctrination made it difficult to criticize the leader. The episode closes with reflections on cult dynamics, the dangers of committing one's life to a group or ideology, and Ruwan's upcoming memoir that ties his personal journey to OneTaste's recent criminal convictions.

Daniella's Links:

You can read all about my story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

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Other Podcasts

Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women

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Haley's Tiktok

@nuancedmasculinities

Key Takeaways

• Sex as a recruitment tool: OneTaste initially used sexuality to attract members but retained them through promises of connection, meaning, and personal growth.

• Labor exploitation: Members often worked for extremely low wages (e.g., $2/hour) under the belief that they were serving a higher cause.

• Manipulation through language: Words like orgasm were redefined to mean progressively broader and more spiritual concepts, fostering a worldview unique to the group.

• High performer recruitment: Contrary to stereotypes, cults often seek intelligent, articulate, and passionate individuals who can recruit others effectively.

• Isolation tactics: Practices like banning "collusion" (sharing doubts) kept members from validating each other's concerns. Dissenters were shunned or vilified.

• Commitment pressure: Members were pushed to "commit their lives" by giving up finances, autonomy, or public loyalty, often under threat of rejection.

• Good cop/bad cop dynamics: Leaders or lieutenants alternated between affection and criticism to manipulate compliance.

• False empowerment: Despite its branding as a female empowerment movement, OneTaste remained patriarchal and exploitative, especially of young women.

• Leader protection: The founder avoided blame by delegating harsh decisions, maintaining a "halo effect" that made criticism difficult.

• Leaving costs: Exiting meant social exile, loss of community, and pressure to humiliate oneself in order to be accepted back.

• Parallels to other systems: Comparisons were drawn to military indoctrination, religious cults, NXIVM, and Scientology, showing shared patterns of control.

• Human vulnerability: Cults thrive by appealing to universal desires—belonging, meaning, and devotion to a higher purpose—while exploiting them for control.

Chapters

00:00 Isolation and Emotional Turmoil in Cults 33:10 The Legal Consequences of Cult Activities 36:09 The Dynamics of Power and Gender in Cults 39:01 Reflections on Cult Experiences and Future Directions

Produced By Haley Phillips