Daily Boost — Motivation and Personal Growth

Empowering Emotional Triggers

I love it when we miraculously put together the perfect day, and life decides to get in the way. 

Well, it's not life, and maybe I don't love it, but occasionally, something or someone will cross your path get in your way.

I don't know anybody who doesn't get hit smack in the face with a situation that triggers a feeling deep inside their soul, stirs emotion, and results in a reaction or response that makes you say, "Why did I say that?"

Of course, we are emotional creatures, so it makes sense that robust emotional responses are a thing for most of us. Still, common sense will tell you it doesn't always serve us. It gets even worse when people sedate their emotions to protect themselves. Not only do they miss great opportunities, but when they are triggered, it becomes an 8.0 earthquake.

So, how do you deal with it?

The way I handle it is to understand that triggers usually happen when I least expect them. Still, my ScottLOGIC tells me that once I experience the trigger and learn the lesson, a little discipline in my actions tends to smooth things out the next time. 

Here's what happens.

When I get triggered, a feeling emerges inside of me. Like me, the problem is that most folks jump from a feeling to an emotional response before their mouth knows what's happening. A better way is to recognize the feeling, pause, review the emotional dialog running in your mind, and then allow your thoughts to become your words. 

Life improves when you have the discipline to recognize what you've learned from a previous trigger, audit your reactions, and deliver your response. Strangely, it becomes as if you were never triggered at all.

Look, we live in a world filled with shoot-from-the-hip opportunities, many of them purposely put in front of us to get a response. Please don't fall for it. Keep your mind on how you want to experience and see the world. You'll be amazed how all the drama goes away.

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Too Many Choices Mean No Choice

My wife and I were looking for something on Netflix and found ourselves repeating the scroll several times. Finally, the screen changed, and the graphic offered us a choice. It said, "just play something?"

Yes, please. Just play something so I can put the remote control down and get back to petting my dog. Thinking back on the moment, I was reminded of a book I read long ago.

In 2005, Barry Schwartz wrote Paradox of Choice. It challenged the traditional thinking that maximizing choice is the way to maximum freedom.  

It may feel good, but too many choices lead to decision fatigue.

Yes, too many choices are not necessarily good, and they can create paralysis. No matter what you choose, you'll always wonder if you could have done better.

Here's my advice to you:

1) Limit your choices. Having every option won't serve you. Narrow your list to things that truly get your attention. 

2) If you find yourself confused, permit yourself to try other options.

3) If in doubt, choose to spend your time and attention on what you know gives you the desired results.  

There will always be too many choices in our modern life, but that doesn't mean you must accept what is offered.

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Clearing Your Clutter

I’ve noticed in my life that humans are hoarders when it comes to keeping stuff that works and doesn’t. They keep hanging on; their life depends on it.

Now, before I go on, I think there are two situations at play here:

1) Hanging on to what has worked well but needs to go so you can do more of what you want to do.

2) Hanging on what doesn’t work in hopes that it will work well someday.

Both can go on for years and lead to frustration as you long for something else. 

I was on the phone with a client this morning, and we ran into that situation. We began dealing with it a few months ago, and it’s still rearing its ugly head in her life. 

After exploring it from every angle—

Should I keep it?

Should I put it to the side and come back to it?

Should I toss it and start over?

Should I… should I… should I.

I finally said the only thing that came to mind -

“The mere fact that you keep questioning it tells me that you want to drop it. You’re just worried about what comes next, which is strange because what’s next is what you want. 

Let me ask a question—

How would you feel if you dropped everything holding you back and woke up in the morning with a clean slate and ready to move?”

She smiled. You know, with that almost embarrassed look that people get when they can’t pretend anymore. She was busted, and she knew it. That’s when she said—

“I’m not going to lie. That would feel great!”

We had a “moment,” and everything changed. I suggested a 30-day cooling-off period, but with the understanding that she is moving forward and not backward.

A few hours later, she sent me a note. It said, “I don’t need 30 days. Thanks.”

It’s simple. When making a life decision, if you stay, you can’t go; if you go, you can’t stay. 

Make your choice.

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Slow Dow To Speed Up

I was riding my Harley-Davidson Road King a few days ago when my mind suddenly thought -

“The Chinese Philosophical concept of Yin and yang describes how opposite or contrary forces may be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world.”

What? What? Huh?

Okay. I wasn’t that details until a bit later and some Googling. Still -

It happened right before the Daytona Speedway and was thinking about the advice I give my clients about slowing down. It goes like this -

“You must slow down to get what you want.”

Advice like that is why I get the big bucks for what I do. No, not really. I get paid because nobody believes me, and it’s up to me to prove it.

Let’s go riding.

Whenever I’m cruising on my motorcycle, I love fast and loud because it makes me smile. That’s the Yin of riding a bike, but you can only go fast and loud for so long before the light turns red in front of you or blue behind you.  

Occasionally, the place you were speeding toward gets congested, and you have no choice but to slow down. But when you are a high-performance machine designed to go fast, slowing down can be challenging - especially on an 800-pound Harley. 

That’s where the Yang of riding a motorcycle comes into play.

Slowing down is the opposite of fast, yet it can yield the same result - if you know what you are doing.

Whether it’s your life or a motorcycle, success requires precision control. You will continue progressing if you get it right and trust yourself and your machine. 

On a motorcycle…

1) Slow down but keep moving. Never stop.

2) Rev your engine so that you always have power to your wheels.

3) Since the motorcycle wants to go faster, pull the clutch into the friction zone between nothing and everything while putting your foot on the rear brake.

What?

Slow down? Rev your engine? Hit the brakes?

Yes. That combination virtually assures you keep moving forward in any situation, in complete control, until it’s time to open it up again.

That same thing happens in life.

You can’t run full out constantly, and sometimes you must stop. You keep moving forward for everything else in between - no matter how slow you go.

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Success From Habitat

"You need to get out of your comfort zone to succeed!"

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. Thankfully, that silly advice is something I've only accepted a couple of times. I wouldn't say I liked every second of it; I ran right back into what makes me comfortable as soon as I could, and I have never told anybody to leave their comfort zone.

"But, Scott? Isn't getting out of your comfort zone how you get what you want?"

Yes, and no.

Don't get me wrong. I firmly believe that you should continually be expanding the limits of your comfort zone to grow into the next chapter of your life. I think you should be pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone until you feel the bubble around you about to burst. 

Why do I believe this so strongly?

Because you will never perform to your full potential if you are not comfortable with your situation, environment, skill set, and just about anything else. 

Yes, you will do things that scare you occasionally, but you will only grow when the drama subsides and you return to a place of clarity and comfort. From there, anything can happen.

The other day, I was chatting with my daughter on the phone and asked what her boys were doing - other than driving her crazy. Her answer made me smile -

"Oh, they've been working hard on school stuff today and were hitting the wall. So I released them into their native habitat to get back to themselves."

Native habitat?

"They're in the backyard digging up worms. They're happy, and I'm happy."

From that day forward, whenever I want to grow beyond where I am today, you'll hear me say, "I need to get back to my native habitat so I can get things moving."

Do what you do in a way that makes you feel like YOU. The rest will take care of itself.

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Secret to Find Your Passion

What do I want to be when I grow up? 

The first time you ask yourself that question is when you are very young - if you ever asked it. Frankly, somebody else usually asks you, and you probably didn't have an answer and just took off running with this thing called life. 

And then it happens —

Forty or fifty years later, people start asking themselves that question again after a family and career. The lucky ones don't confine it until they retire; they question who they are. It can be a scary time.

If you are looking for a change in your life, here are a few things to understand—

You can't move forward by hanging on to what you have. 

Remember, you get more of what you focus on in your life. If you focus on what you give up, you'll get more. Instead, you must focus on the unknown future and look for clues about what you will do.

I call the process "Exploring Your Possibilities.

Imagine if anything is possible and there is no limitation or consequence. There is no commitment required, and money doesn't matter. Time has no impact. None of that matters because once you stumble upon what you want, you will have arrived, and everything will be forever different.

How do you make this happen?

The secret is to put the brakes on what you are doing while you seek new adventures. It will take time to find a good fit, so you'll have to ensure you don't slide back into your old ways. Don't do it, no matter how comfortable it may feel to get back in your comfort zone.

Pump the brakes. Hold on to the space you've created. Explore your possibilities, and let life unfold in front of you. It may not happen overnight. Then again, maybe it will.

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Relative Time Management 

In my entire life, I've always found it interesting that there never seems to be enough time in the day. Still, most days, everything seems to get done. If it doesn't, the world didn't end, and I survived to check off another item from my to-do list tomorrow.

I know I'm not the first human on the planet to face the problem of time, but I think I'm one of those smartypants who have figured out how our time works in real life. And it was 180 degrees from what I felt that time was all about.

How you look at time is about to change.

First, when you run as fast as possible to get things done, time moves quicker, and things get done. But with every minute filled, there is never enough time to do the things that make your heart sing. If you're like me, that will eventually lead you to sabotage your list so you can do something fun for yourself. It's a never-ending cycle.

On the other hand, when you slow down, hold space for yourself, and focus on results relevant to your goals, time slows down, and you get good stuff done. You also magically find lots of free time you need to fill. 

Of course, this sounds familiar if you've ever studied Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity. As he determined—time is relative. In other words, the rate at which time passes depends on your frame of reference — or your FOCUS.

So, what is your frame of reference?

In our case, I'm not asking whether you are moving fast or slow; I want to know if you are focused on the essential things in life that matter to you. Everything else disappears when you do, times slow down, and you enjoy your day like you were born to do.

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Positive, Practical, and Peaceful

I must admit that I get in trouble because some of the ScottLOGIC that comes out of my mouth doesn’t sit well with many folks these days - and they let me know. 

One of the biggest comments…

“You seem like such a positive guy, and then it’s like something clicks in your head and goes negative and ruins my day.” 

While I don’t think I ever go negative, I’ve heard that many times. 

Here’s the thing…

It would be easy for me to get caught in the feel-good trap of chasing positivity - if only for being positive. But I’m not interested in that. I am interested in the results. 

That is a peaceful, content, joyful, and meaningful life. 

If you’ve been alive for over a couple of decades, you know all of that is found lurking in the truth. That’s why I consider myself a practical, positive guy, and you should too. 

I believe an optimistic attitude is power in life; I also think that you can never be truly happy until you are willing to dig deep into the not-so-positive challenges in life. Until you do that, you’ll be blocked. 

That’s why you’ll always hear me cover both sides. 

Frankly, I’m not interested in what we can and will do in our lives. I’m interested in the millions of interactions, decisions, and feelings we encounter daily that become the life we will have lived someday.

Stephen Fry said, “Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Almost everything that freaks folks out begins with words from others and yourself. 

Keep that in mind because… 

When you choose to be positive and practical and ground yourself in the truth, you will become at peace with everything around you - including yourself.

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Diving Face-First Into Your Dreams

“Please! Can somebody stop the world? I want to get off!”

Okay. Just for you, I pressed the magic button, and the world stopped. 

What are you going to do now?

If you don’t have an answer, there’s no need to freak out. It’s common for people to get slowed down and think about what their life could be like, and I have no idea.

But let’s say you are one of the few who decide the time to turn directly into the challenge.

Many years ago, I adopted a philosophy that became the driver that would change everything. I decided to always turn face-first into any challenge between me and my dreams. Yes, I would face my passion head-on and do whatever it takes to make it real. 

Do you know what happened next?

I tripped, stumbled, and fell into a pile of my own crumbled dreams. That’s when I realized that deciding to face your passion was only the beginning. Before you can face your passion and live your dreams, a few more things must be faced first.

You must face your stress.

You must face your relationships.

You must face your health, finances, and spiritual beliefs.

You must face your friendships, clothing, what you eat, and what you dream.

Yes, living the “I know there must be more lifestyle” is freakishly simple and no big deal; you do whatever you want whenever you choose. But it doesn’t take long to realize that getting whenever you want requires that you face a few things first.

It’s simple. As scary as it may feel, no matter how much you don’t want to do it, everything becomes possible when you deal with everything in your life and take control. 

So, the next time you find yourself trying to figure out what’s stopping you from living your dreams, there might be a few things that you want to handle first.

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Why Will Power Will Wear You Out

When will you get to do what you want to do? 

More people than you know lose sleep over that question. If that sounds like something you have experienced, you’re not alone. 

Almost everybody begins their journey when a thought pops into their mind. Then, day-to-day life keeps them busy, and they spend frustrating months fixin’ to get ready. You know, starting to prepare… so you can begin to do… so you can do… and say you did. 

If that doesn’t work, you summon your friend, Will Power. 

Will is not a person, but more like a kind of friend that you don’t know why you keep letting into your life.

They are a bit slacker, live rent-free in your mind, say they want to help, and never deliver on their promise. Will’s job description should read -- to force you to do things you say you want to do but can’t get yourself to do. When you give up, Will leaves.

The good news is, there’s no need to force yourself to do anything. Achieving your biggest goals in life has nothing to do with willpower. Instead, shift your mindset - 

“To act at your discretion without constraint.” 

That’s the definition of Free Will, Will Powers, good cousin. 

Use your Free Will to harness your excitement and choose the path of least resistance. Start making the slightest changes in your life. Those steps will lead to big results sooner than you think.

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