Daily Boost — Motivation and Personal Growth

Opportunity Cost Decision Making

Do you have too many options and are having difficulty choosing?

You may have heard of a concept called "Opportunity Cost." Some consider it a fancy term for "trade-off." In other words, every time you choose, there is a trade-off to consider. 

I find it easier to use extreme discrimination to weed out less-than-ideal opportunities. And you can do that with one question -

"Does this opportunity provide the fastest and most direct path to reach my goals?" 

Before we go on, it's easy to look at almost any opportunity and justify a path, especially if you are being persuaded by someone else.

And Opportunity Cost is not some personal development success hack. It's actually in your mind as a survival tool. It's your mind deciding how to expend energy most efficiently. 

What was that question again?

"Does this opportunity provide the fastest and most direct path to reach my goals?" 

If you want to break free from a stalled life, you must eliminate less efficient opportunities. 

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Letting Mentors Find YOU

You've set a goal and are working hours to get what you want. 

Why is everything moving so slowly?

Larry was a mentor of mine when I was in my twenties. He owned a business, made an exceptional living, and, after hiring me to work for him, took me under his wing. It was a relationship that lasted for years - although I'm sure I didn't make it easy.

That's the thing about being a young, bright-eyed dreamer with lots of talent and little patience. It's easy to see what others have, set an arbitrary date on a calendar, and expect everything to go your way.

One day, I pinned Larry in his office and was making my best case for a raise. I was sure he had gobs of cash, and I deserved my share. 

After all, I was 26 years old, so it was time that I had a big house and a fancy car like him.

That's when Larry said something that changed everything -

"Scott, sometimes you must keep showing up long enough for the right people to notice. Keep doing a good job, and they'll step up."

Of course, Larry was already stepping up and was being very generous. I'm not sure I knew that, and I wouldn't say I liked his answer. I'm also sure I stomped out of his office and gossiped about him in the kitchen. 

Over the years, though, I noticed there seems to be a hidden layer of successful people all around me. They were keeping an eye out for somebody like me. Larry was right.

The person who can help make your life better is not always the person standing in front of you. It might be the person off to the side that is watching your actions.

If you give it enough time, no matter what you do, when you least expect it, somebody will say, "We need to talk. It's time we do something together." 

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Don't Become a Negotiating Underdog

I was rushing through Atlanta Airport after an entire day of negotiating with a client. My flight was in 30 minutes, so I was beginning to think the deal would not happen. 

That's when things got interesting.

I've spent many days negotiating over the years and have grown confident in closing deals. I always think I'm going to win. Still, today's game wasn't over.

As we approached the Gate area, my client guided me into the Food Court. He pulled out the contract and replaced my fee with a smaller number. Then, he handed me the pen and said, "If you can do it for that, I'll sign right now." 

Checking my watch and not wanting to miss my flight, I almost took the deal. After all, winners get deals done. But, experience has taught me something else. Business deals that start poorly rarely get better. I decided to turn his less-than-classy negotiating gambit on its head.

As humans, we are hard-wired to survive and thrive. As much as I wanted to take the deal to feed my family, I knew I wouldn't be thriving. I also knew my client needed what I would do for him; my price was fair, and more importantly, he feared I wouldn't do it. 

We all feel like the underdog when negotiating. It goes both ways.

With that I said,

"If you can sign the original deal before I get on the plane, I'll do it. Otherwise, I'll have to pass. I've enjoyed spending the day with you."

He who speaks first loses. I kept my mouth shut.

Thirty seconds later, he signed the original deal, gave me a deposit, and asked, "When can we get started?"

The relationship lasted for years, and we never had that experience again. It turned out to be an excellent deal for both of us.

Always keep in mind that we all feel like the underdog when negotiating. It will serve you well.

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Leadership in Times of Conflict

I know that you want to be a better leader. I also know that you hate and don't want anything to do with conflict - especially since I can hear you saying —

"Why can't we all get along?"

I get it. Saying the word "No" is hard enough. Sometimes, saying "Yes" when others agree or disagree with your choice can be even more difficult.

"Why can't we all get along?"

The answer is that we can. However, the truth is that conflict will always happen whenever more than two people get together. Even if there is a common goal and everyone is on the same page. Conflict will always play a role in your success.

What?

We're on the same page, agree with each other, want the same result, and there's still conflict?

"Why can't we all get along?"

Yes. No matter how positive your project is, everybody has a different idea of how to reach the outcome. Everybody has an individual right way and wrong way of doing things.

As a leader, when you approach conflict as a simple "Y" on the road of progress, things change. It becomes a decision that is part of the process and leads to the outcome everybody desires.

Leaders, Managers, heck, Mom's and Dad's - anybody responsible for moving forward eventually learns to navigate through conflict. It’s just a part of life.

Leaders don't get emotionally fired up, yell and scream, or freak out in some other creative way. Conflict is just an indication that you are progressing closer to your goal.

The faster you accept conflict, the sooner you can resolve the obstacle and reach your goal. Everybody will respect and appreciate you. They will also remember you for helping all involved achieve success.

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Happiness Is Learning Something New

In my work, it's not unusual for somebody to seek guidance. Most are contemplating a change or frustrated with the status quo. 

Every conversation begins with me asking —

"What are you trying to figure out?" 

To which people say, "I don't know, that's why I'm talking to you! I want to start over."

Now, there’s a funny thing about living inside of your own head for your entire life. You probably already know what you want and just won’t admit it.

Usually a combination of fear of change and FOMO, fear of missing out is driving your forward while locked in the same place. 

If you find yourself stuck, you may find yourself thinking that you just want to toss everything out and start over.

Forget the fact that it’s not possible anyway. There is good reason not to start from scratch.

Remember all those years living inside your mind? 

Somewhere inside of you, there is lots of experience and wisdom. Over the years, you paid a hefty price for that knowledge. Although it may sound like a good idea, not only should you never give up what you've learned. It's not like we have a Men In Black "Flashy Thing" to reformat the hard drive you call your mind. 

A better way is to become an absolute beginner and learn a new skill, preferably with a mentor's help to show you the way while your previous experience guides you. 

Sometimes, as you grow older, getting wiser requires going back to 1st Grade.

When you do, your brain uses its incredible plasticity and gets excited by learning something new. Then, it integrates it with what you already know. You are, in fact, a beginner and a Master at the same time. That creates excitement, motivation, and happiness, and we all can use more of that.

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How Passion Creates Motivation

Motivation is always lurking in our minds. Even if we're not thinking about it. 

My wife, Joi, is a good example.

Take one look at her, and it's easy to see Joi takes care of herself. She gets up every day and eats a healthy breakfast. Then, she dresses in her workout clothes and, without exception, exercises. No matter how late she went to bed or how late I slept in, Joi gets out of bed and heads to the gym.

Since it's evident that Joi walks her walk, it's not uncommon for people to ask, "How do you do it?" — as if she is a member of "The Secret Society of Highly Motivated People Club." 

It's not that complicated.

I joke with Joi that she is my sexy, predictable, exciting, and somewhat dull wife. While that may sound terrible, and I wouldn't say it around Valentine's Day, I probably should. Joi takes it as a compliment —

"I know. It's who I am and what I do. I don't think about it. I want to feel and look a certain way, so I do what it takes."

Don't let her fool you. She thinks about it a lot, or at least she does until the magic of motivation arrives in full force. 

Her vision of herself becomes her passion. That leads to massive motivation, discipline, and action. As good results arrive, the repetition action transforms into life-long habits and delivers life-long results. 

That's how you get what you want.

The pain of exercising your motivational muscle always feels better than the frustration of thinking about what you want for too long. 

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Some Things Are Not Optional

It happens to all of us.

We're going about our day, hot on the trail of checking off items on our never-ending To-Do list. Then, we discovered that we didn't get everything done before time ran out. 

When my Son was entering the workforce, we would often find time to catch up on weekends. He was trying to navigate the business world while balancing his life. He had a fast-paced job and had become a productivity ninja. He was proud of his color-coded To-Do list and calendar, but he had a problem -

"Dad, no matter how organized I am, I still can't get everything done. I'm writing everything down, and I'm working through it, and I still run out of time. What am I not doing right?"

My first thought was how happy I was that he had the clarity of mind to look beyond the obvious solution. Then, I had a few questions -

You say you have accounted for everything. How much time did you allocate for eating lunch or running down to the coffee shop today?

How many times did you visit the restroom, and how long did it take?

On your commute, how much time did you spend at the traffic lights?

I stopped.

"What does that have to do with my getting my work done?" he asked.

Nothing, but you still have to get that stuff done. And thanks for making my point.

What my Son had discovered is what I call "Non-Ops" — the non-optional things of life. 

Non-Ops are a never-ending string of activities that require our attention. They never go away and sneak up without you knowing. If you don't account for the Non-Ops of life, you'll never get to the optionals of life.

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Are You Pushing Too Hard?

Have you ever found yourself in a motivated state of mind and pushing through the day? 

Do you feel like everybody is hitting you with everything they have? 

Blocked. Stalled. Frustrated. It is easy to want to push harder.

When I was a teenager, I liked to play football, not with the school team. Uniforms and protective equipment made that too easy. It was more fun to get together after school for a rough and tumble. A game of shirts and skins with the same guys who typically wear protective gear was much more fun.

One afternoon, in a particularly spirited game, though, I wasn't having as much fun as I usually did.

My attitude that day was one of total domination. I arrived at the field of battle with the absolute intent of pushing as hard as possible and winning the day. The only problem was another player had the same intention. And he was knocking the crap out of me with every hike of the ball. 

Play after play, we would crash into each other as much force as we could muster. Neither would back off. We kept hitting as hard as we could and inflicting more pain in a so-called fun game. Finally, in tears from my last pummeling, I said,

"Why are you hitting me so hard? Stop hurting me. We're supposed to be having fun. Stop it!"

I'll let you fill in the more colorful words, emphasis, and emotional craziness. 

I was in pain, frustrated, cold, and mad as hell. But that's when my opponent made me realize something I had been missing. He said,

"Me hitting you? You've been bashing me all day. What did I do to you? Why are you hitting me so hard?"

The emotions of that moment and the lessons learned are still with me all these years later. 

Sometimes, when we get pumped and on a mission to achieve our goal, we get lost in our emotions. Not everybody is getting in your way. They are playing the same game, have the same plans, and are fighting to get what they want - like you.

After we realized what was going on, the game continued. This time, it wasn't about hurting each other. We stopped pushing too hard and played the best game we could to see who would come out on top.

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Self-Inflicted Changes ROCK

A couple of years ago, the world changed when we were all introduced to Coronavirus. It was as if we were racing down the Interstate at 75 miles per hour, slammed on our breaks, and directed off the nearest exit on an undefined detour. It all seemed to happen in an instant.

The pandemic caused real pain and loss for some. Fear and stress for others. Still, as surreal as it was, it wasn't long before most people began to notice the craziness of our previous lives replaced with a 'new normal' - one that felt more like a 'new nothing.' 

Much to our surprise, life slowed to a crawl, schedules changed, and we found contentment by not chasing every shiny object that life presented. The pandemic pause caused people to reevaluate life from the inside out. While it happens all the time, this time, we noticed it.

How many times have you found yourself in an impossible situation that ended with one action? 

You paid off debt, quit a job, you said goodbye to a bad relationship?

How many times have you decided to try something new, and the past instantly disappeared?

Did you decide to move into a new home, start your own business, or return to school?

How many times have the worst pains and your biggest joys been the catalyst of an exciting new beginning?

A death, wedding, or the birth of a new child?

While some situations in life are unpredictable, the lessons learned and wisdom gleamed remind us that anything can and will change in an instant. 

Knowing that grants you immense power over your destiny - especially if it's self-inflicted and you are in control.

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Powerful and Purposeful Goal Setting  

I've always believed goal setting is the heartbeat of our lives. 

Goal setting is one of the most powerful tools you have to create your best life. My question to you is… do you know what your best life is supposed to be?

I came upon my belief not from a book or a guru but from a realization I had many years ago. I found I was happy when I was chasing something bigger than myself that was also in alignment with how I felt on the inside. I was unhappy when I was checking items off my list and not honoring my true self.

After years of pondering, I concluded that a purposeful outcome would eliminate frustration and boredom and generate excitement and enthusiasm. 

That leads me to the two definitions of goals:

1) The end toward which effort is directed.

2) An area or object toward which players in various games attempt to advance a ball or puck and usually through or into which it must go to score points.

Most people treat goals like the number two, a To-Do list, with a short-term outlook. People who focus on the first definition are long-term thinkers.

But what's the real difference?

What "end" do you place your focus on?

Heartbeat goal-setters know there are many "ends" before the ultimate termination point we call goal achievement. That's what excites and drives them. They purposely focus on that 'end.' Everything else is a step in the journey that is only needed to get to their pre-determined outcome.

Heartbeat goal setting. It's purposeful goal setting that ignites a fire in your belly, gives you a mission, and makes you happy. Everything else is an item on your To-Do list.

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