Dan Wakes Up Screaming

The fellows pitch a prestige cable series, win a Russian beer sweepstakes, and try out a new trivia segment on this, the conclusion to Episode 21 of Dan Wakes Up Screaming.

Editor's Note: At one point in this program, Brian incorrectly refers to F. Lee Bailey as the prosecutor in the Charles Manson trial. Dan Wakes Up Screaming regrets this baffling error, and humbly reminds its audience that Brian is not an authority on any subject, and that listening to anything that Brian says is not recommended.

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

“Sex Club” by The Womb

"Does That Turn You On?" by Lemon

"Still Balling" by Tricky Diesel

"Rebenok" by Nambavan

When he was subsisting on dining hall starch in college, Fed was what Buffalo Bill would call "a great big fat person." I'm not saying that Fed was fat, but when Fed sat around the house, Fed sat around the house. Also, I'm not that saying Fed was fat, but I heard at the time that they were going to tear Fed down and build a hotel. You get the idea.

Meanwhile, ectomorphic young Dan was doing his best imitation of Ichabod Crane. In today's episode, Dan tells a heartbreaking story of trying to do a dead lift in front of all the girls in school, with tragic results.

Please enjoy Episode 21.1 of Dan Wakes Up Screaming.

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

"The Joys of Spring" by Guido Gialdini

"Birds of Paradise Marching Band" by Taseh

"Classic Rock In Spring" by Kurt Vile

"Poop Your Pants!" by Dan Darbandi

"The Irish Spring" by David Rovics

"Almighty" by Birgitta Victor

We re-join our heroes for another harrowing Fed-selected music segment, a visit from an Austrian sexpert, and a quick round of America's new favorite party game, Teen Topix. Please enjoy the conclusion of the Winter Storm Jonas edition of Dan Wakes Up Screaming.

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

"Miami Call" by Herr Doktor

"Freezeframe Shutters" by Fit and the Conniptions

"Fun to be Had With an Oboe" by Ergo Phizmiz

"Whiskey Girls" by K.I.D.S.

Welcome to our Pop Culture Roundup and Oscar Prediction Supercast! Just kidding. Two thirds of us haven't even seen the new Star Wars movie. Other things never mentioned in this first episode of 2016 include the death of David Bowie and the ongoing presidential primaries. Also, the last movie that Dan and Fed saw was Howard the Duck.

We recorded this episode on the night of Winter Storm Jonas, which is weird because my windows are open as I type this, and there is hardly a crumb of snow left in town. When aliens are exploring the submerged ruins of Brooklyn after the coming climate change apocalypse, I hope that they find and enjoy the twentieth episode of Dan Wakes Up Screaming, and also that they rate us on iTunes.

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

"Snow Is Falling" by Georgia & August Greenberg

"Snowblind" by Tusk Lord

"Spider Farm" by Andrew Howes

"Snow" by Pk jazz Collective

"Snowman" by Jazzer

"Hometown" by Ryan Little

Brian returns to Naked Island for some saucy corrective corrections, Dan's class photo is so bad that the photographer wins a Pulitzer, and Fed attempts to channel the spirit of a legendary Cajun chef, with limited success. Please enjoy the nineteenth episode of Dan Wakes Up Screaming.

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

"Super Nude" by Lesbian Afternoon

"I'm going home" by Lee Maddeford

"MARATHON MAN" by Jason Shaw

"Hammertime" by Squarehead

"Picture" by The Choke

"Photograph" by Pataphysics

"Song of the Night Cafe in New Orleans" by Vi-Fi

Season Three of Dan Wakes Up Screaming is upon us with an episode that has it all: nudity, violence, adult situations, and compulsory hand-holding with strangers.

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

"Cool Reggae Party" by Juanitos

"Mexico" by Jimmy Pé

"seven down" by Gorowski

"Like The Very First Kiss" by Elias Damian

"Death Machine" by Magic Daddy

"Persian Lamb Rag" by Heftone Banjo Orchestra

This is it: the final episode of Season Two, which means that we are mere weeks away from the premiere of Season Three. A lot of people thought we wouldn't get renewed for another season, and do you know where those people are now? Well, if we go by iTunes metrics they're probably listening to Mark Maron or Radiolab. But the main thing is that they were wrong, and also jerks, and Dan Wake Up Screaming will return, just like James Bond in Octopussy.

Anyhoo, in this episode the fellows drink a haunted beer and turn into werewolves, or something. Enjoy! Happy Halloween!

Music Credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

"Stealing The Night" by iamMANOLIS

"Does That Turn You On?" by Lemon

"She-Wolf (Re-edition 2014)" by Valery & The Greedies

"To the Moon" by Jazzafari

"Box Store" by Deano Waco

"Monsterdance (feat. Hasi International)" by The Discoghosts

Breaking news: Dan Wakes Up Screaming still exists. This new episode, which is part one of the electrifying conclusion of Season Two, finds that Fed is moving to a new apartment, Brian has finally quit smoking, and Dan in incensed at the lack of Huey Lewis in Pitchfork's 200 Best Songs of the 80s.

Music credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Octopussy” by Juanitos

“Gotta Keep Moving” by The Losers

“Ultimate Umpire” by Spray Paint

“golf” by Deano Merino

“Vacation” (by 骨架的)

“Dracula Honey” by PC Noise & Pedicure Records

“You Dress Like an Asshole (prod. by Lunice)” by Not The 1s

Episode 16.2 of Dan Wakes Up Screaming finds the boys still all squicked out about seeing one another in daylight, so they're relieved when a very special guest shows up and they don't have to talk to one another anymore.

By the way, have you ever wondered what the fellows are drinking while recording episodes of your favorite podcast? Refreshments usually include a mix of the poncy IPAs that Brian prefers along with whatever Fed was able to scrounge from sidewalks and dumpsters. (Have you ever heard the story of the time Fed found a whole unopened package of Lorna Doones?!)

Meanwhile, it amuses Dan to bring the most obscure and unpalatable monstrosities that he can find in the neighborhood Polish market. In case you're curious, the beer that the fellas are drinking in this episode is called REMUS BROWAR AMBER. The label looks like this:

So if you don't like this episode, blame Dan and/or Poland. Also- to the brewers of Remus Browar Amber... hello! Did you know that Dan Wakes Up Screaming is available for your marketing pleasure? It's true! The fellows will do or say anything to get your business, and Fed will work for Lorna Doones.

Music credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Indian Lullaby” by Asian Women on the Telephone

“Fake Your Dreams” by Ain't No Love

“You'll Find Old Dixieland in France” by Pietro

This episode was recorded in broad daylight, which weirded everyone out. Overcoming the queasiness of seeing one another during business hours, the fellows managed to discuss:

- Current American politics (The first time ever that such a conversation was not deleted for being boring and terrible)

- Vivisection (pros and cons)

- That guy who blew up the Olympics

- Sexual tension on Leave it to Beaver

- The cultural impact of traveling fairs

- The horror and squalor of water parks

- The wholesomeness and magic of Dolly Parton

We later play the Teen Topix! game, and Brian finally busts out the finest story in his anecdote arsenal: the tale of Gus the Amazing Alleycat.

Why are you still reading this when you could already be listening to Episode Sixteen of Dan Wakes Up Screaming?

Music credits:

“Many Happy Returns” by Guillaume Tucker

“Rod Stewart” by No Monster Club

“Down In a Hole” by Dondero High School

“Gayluv (Sexchangemix)” by Dyke B (feat.Leffevre)

“The Exit to the Rainbow” by springtide