Dad Starting Over

Dear DSO: "My Wife Is Lazy... Or Depressed?"


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DSO responds to a question from a man named Nick who is frustrated with his wife's lack of contribution to household chores and responsibilities. Nick works long hours and comes home to clean, cook, and take care of their four children while his wife spends her time on the couch or surfing the web. DSO explains that this situation is not uncommon and suggests that Nick has inadvertently trained his wife to behave this way by not setting boundaries or demanding equal participation. He advises Nick to put his foot down and insist on change, as well as consider the possibility that his wife may be suffering from depression. DSO emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help and being patient throughout the process of addressing these issues.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Lack of boundaries and inaction can lead to one partner taking on all household responsibilities.
  2. Depression may be a factor in a partner's lack of motivation and contribution.
  3. Seeking professional help and setting clear expectations are crucial for resolving these issues.

Quotes:

  1. "You have trained this woman to do this stuff. Why? Because she did a little at a time, and you basically, with your inaction said, that's cool."
  2. "Depression can manifest or present itself in a lot of different ways. And one of the most common ways is glued to the couch in action, not doing a damn thing."
  3. "Put your foot down and say, enough is enough. We're going to get help with this."
  4. "You have years of training. You've trained this dog to act a certain way, and suddenly tomorrow you're going to be like, you know all that training I gave you? Pet dog. Well, it's terrible."
  5. "Don't just throw in the towel right away. Put in the old effort, the effort that goes beyond just being a yes man and trying to smooth things over and avoid conflict."

The DSO Fraternity

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