Dear Pod,

Get in the car. Head over to Costco. Buy an oversized pie and some cheap wine cause it’s time to over-indulge as DEAR POD celebrates its 100TH EPISODE!!! Join us , won’t you, as we enter our new “century” direct from the Maha’a Tiki Lounge in the beautiful Pineapple Ranch! Batten down your hatches while we figure out why DEAR POD and peanut butter should not be refrigerated. Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em!

Is this episode about fears or FRIENDS? Perhaps it's about lawn furniture. Doesn't matter. Because at the ninety-ninth episode and day three thousand six hundred and forty one of the pandemic, Erin has officially lost her mind. So, please join Patrick and Jules as we search through the Maha'a Tiki Lounge for what's left of Erin's sanity. God's Speed!

Get out your toupee tape because we don't want you to lose your WIG during this episode. Whether or not your hair is receding or proceeding, we here at the Maha'a Lounge believe that we can spot someone wearing a rug at twenty paces. So let's snack on some Thin Mints and Samoas as we apply a bit of spirit gum to the laces of this week's show and tease it high for all to enjoy!

GUEST ALERT! Don't you dare pay for that motel room with your credit card. Pay for it like any normal, cheating human being having an AFFAIR...in cash. No paper trail! Let's talk cheating spouses and uncomfortable romps between the sheets as film and television star STEPHANIE KURTZUBA visits the Maha'a Lounge and sheds some light on her roll in the cinematic hay with up and comer performer, Bobby DeNiro. She says he's shows promise.

Get our your Mercurochrome, Neosporin and Alcohol Wipes cause we are a bit ACCIDENT prone this week. While Abby deals with a husband who has a special agenda behind the drivers wheel, Ann deals with a husband who can't figure out how to clean his socks. All the while Erin and Patrick are trying to heal the egos of all the people whose names and faces they have forgotten within a week. Don't slip on the ice as you download this week's Master Class on Life.

GUEST ALERT! Things are getting hot, steamy and sexy in the Maha'a Lounge this week. While Ann and Abby blush over articles of love on VALENTINE'S DAY, Erin and Patty sweat and scream while, outrageously entertaining and oh-so sexy, NATALIE JOY JOHNSON straps one on and shows us all how to find it, rub it, slap it ride it...oh God...whew...that was great...I need a smoke. Get into Queen, cause here we go!

Happy BLACK HISTORY MONTH! This week Ann and Abby tackle head on or sometimes avoid the topic of race, bigotry and tolerance. In the meantime, Erin and Patty have absolutely no time for your racist, bull$hit, ignorant nonsense. With that in mind, let's all join the conversation. Except for you, Troy. Just sit there, listen and for God's sake, learn something.

Unless you live on your own private island, there is no way getting around the joys and drama of your NEIGHBORS. Are they envious of your color schemes on your abode? Does their potbellied pig make your cold heart warm up or just turn your stomach sour? Doesn't matter. Cause unless you move, you're stuck with the fact that their Christmas decorations will be up all year. So, chew on that, Spanky. And take a deep breath for another dose of cold, hard, ummmmm.........................stuff.

While peeing in a urinal, Michael Leeney turned to me and said, "My Dad is smarter than your Dad." What? What is that supposed to mean??? Why are you telling me now? Did I mention we were in kindergarten at the time? You ask me if I hold a GRUDGE? This happened over forty years ago and I remember it word for word! Pour yourself a big glass of Pedialyte cause our stomach lining is in shambles over this week's episode.

SOBRIETY. What a wonderful idea. Then a coup happens and all bets are off. Let's pour ourselves an O'Douls or a vigin margarita and see who is a lightweight and who can bend their elbows with the best of them. No judgement here if you just stick with Diet Coke. But honestly. After what happened this past week...I'm adding some Rye to it.