Derate The Hate

Leading Inclusion By Way of Personal Accountability

Friends, today I’m very excited to bring you a conversation that goes way beyond the same old talk about DEI – this isn’t just another conversation about diversity for diversity’s sake. My guest today, Delphia Howze, is someone who brings a fresh, real perspective on what it truly means to create inclusive environments, and as you’re about to hear, much of it starts with personal accountability.

Delphia is the CEO and Founder of D. Howze Solutions and serves as the Chief Inclusion Officer at a national laboratory. She’s been a driving force in the Diversity & Inclusion space for over two decades, with experience across industries – from banking to retail, to energy. Her approach is grounded in real-world results, helping organizations not just tick the diversity box, but truly harnessing the power of human capital to drive meaningful change.

We’re diving into her new book, Including You: Leading Inclusion from Where You Are, where Delphia takes a different route. She challenges each of us to look inward – to reflect on our own biases and understand how they affect the way we interact with others. It’s about more than just policies or training sessions. It’s about stepping up, having the hard conversations, and using something called ‘appreciative inquiry’ to really bridge divides and foster genuine understanding.

We’ll talk about why giving people the space to be themselves is the real key, instead of forcing our own expectations on them. And the best part? It’s not about pointing fingers – it’s about how we can all do better, one step at a time, and how that personal growth creates positive ripples around us.

If you’re ready for an honest, no-fluff conversation on what it actually takes to create inclusive spaces in your life and work, then stick around. This one’s going to shift your perspective.

Takeaways

• Personal accountability is key in creating inclusive environments.
• Self-reflection helps us understand our biases and how they impact our interactions with others.
• Engaging in dialogue and appreciative inquiry can bridge divides and foster understanding.
• Giving people the space to be themselves and not imposing our expectations on them is crucial for inclusion.
• Striving to become better and understanding others leads to positive change in ourselves and our surroundings.

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

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Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Step Out, Step Forward, On a Better Path Forward

Joining me today is Rich Harwood, a man whose work and life experience have shaped the way communities across the country—and the world—solve problems and come together. Rich is the founder of The Harwood Institute for Public Innovation, and for more than 30 years, he’s been leading the charge to help communities rebuild trust, solve shared problems, and deepen people’s civic faith. But Rich’s journey begins with something deeply personal: growing up with a chronic illness and feeling like he wasn’t seen or heard.

Rich opens up about those early struggles and how they shaped his understanding of hope. He shares how setbacks in life—whether personal or community-wide—can either break us or build us into something stronger. For Rich, those challenges helped him see the importance of hope as a tool for resilience, something we all need, especially in times of uncertainty and division.

But this episode is about so much more than hope. Rich and I dive into the critical issue of civic engagement and the real, lasting impact of community-led change. We talk about the challenges of building trust, especially when it feels like our society is pulling apart. Rich emphasizes that the only way forward is through shared aspirations—finding that common ground where we can all come together and take collective action.

Takeaways

• Setbacks can shape us and teach us the importance of hope.
• Civic engagement and community-led change are crucial for addressing societal challenges.
• Conversations play a vital role in bridging divides and dispelling assumptions.
• The health of civic culture is a significant predictor of a community's progress. Rebuilding civic culture is essential for communities to thrive and effectively solve shared problems.
• Turning outward and understanding what matters to people is crucial in creating positive change.
• Politicians need to engage in a fundamentally different way and provide an environment for communities to solve their shared problems.
• Small actions can have a ripple effect and lead to transformational systemic change.
• Creating a culture of shared responsibility is necessary for a functioning community.

Learn more about and connect with Rich Harwood by checking out the full show notes at www.DerateTheHate.com

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Confronting Racism by Dismantling the Illusion of Race

Our returning guest today is Dr. Sheena Mason, a powerhouse in the world of anti-racism and the author of the brand-new book, *The Raceless Anti-Racist*. If you’ve ever questioned the role of race in society or wondered how we can dismantle the structures that perpetuate racism, this conversation is going to challenge and inspire you. 

Dr. Mason is an assistant professor of English at SUNY Oneonta and holds a PhD from Howard University, specializing in Africana and American literature and philosophy of race. But what really sets her apart is her innovative approach to understanding race—or, more accurately, the illusion of it. In her new book, she takes concepts from her more academic work, *Theory of Racelessness*, that  you may remember us discussing back in DTH episode 127, and makes them accessible to a broader audience.

We’re going to dive into the heart of that theory. Dr. Mason and I will explore how the internalization of oppression affects us all, the very real material impacts of racism, and how tools like the 'Togetherness Wayfinder' and 'Raceless Translator' can bring people together. We’ll also tackle some tough questions: What role do media, government, and capitalism play in maintaining racial divisions? And how do we dismantle the illusion of race to truly confront racism head-on?

Takeaways

• Dr. Sheena Mason's new book, 'The Raceless Anti-Racist,' is geared towards a wider audience and introduces the concept of the Togetherness Wayfinder.
• Recognizing the internalization of oppression and the material impacts of racism is crucial in dismantling racism.
• The Togetherness Wayfinder aims to bring people together and find common humanity in the face of contentious issues. Racialization as white does not equate to experiencing anti-white racism, but rather the effects of anti-black racism.
• The media, government, and capitalism play a role in perpetuating divisions and maintaining hierarchies.
• The Raceless Translator is a tool that helps interpret race in terms of culture, ethnicity, social class, and the causes and effects of racism.
• Engaging in conversations and exposing oneself to different perspectives is crucial for bridging divides and promoting understanding.

Learn more about and connect with Dr. Sheena Mason by checking out the full show notes at www.DerateTheHate.com

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

From Conflict to Convergence - a Book Discussion

Friends, one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my journey is that when we come together with honesty, integrity and good will, we can find solutions that are better than what any one person could have come up with on their own. And if there’s anyone who embodies that belief, it’s today’s guests, Rob Fersh and Mariah Levison of Convergence!

Now, let me tell you, these two are champions of bridging divides and resolving conflicts in ways that don’t just settle for middle ground, but actually aim for higher ground—solutions that honor everyone's needs and values. Rob Fersh, the founder and senior advisor of Convergence, has been in the trenches of policy resolution for decades, working on everything from hunger in America to U.S.-Muslim relations. His leadership in organizations like the Food Research and Action Center and Search for Common Ground has literally shaped the way we tackle big issues in this country.

And then we’ve got Mariah Levison, the current CEO and President of Convergence. Mariah’s got this incredible knack for building trust and relationships across the most contentious divides. From running the Minnesota State Office of Collaboration and Dispute Resolution to teaching the next generation of mediators, she’s all about conflict resolution and creating solutions that really stick.

Together, Rob and Mariah co-authored a must-read book, *From Conflict to Convergence: Coming Together to Solve Tough Problems*. And today, they’re here to talk about how we can all get better at listening, understanding each other’s values, and finding those higher ground solutions—especially in a time when our society seems more divided than ever.

But here’s the kicker—they’re not just talking to the leaders or the policymakers; they’re even emphasizing the importance of engaging young people in this process. Because, let’s face it, the future belongs to them, and it’s crucial that they learn how to navigate these differences to build a more functional and civil society.

Learn more about and connect with Rob Fersh, Mariah Levison and Convergence by checking out the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com.

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Boundaries, Codependency and How To Regain Your Power

Do you ever find yourself saying 'yes' when every fiber of your being is screaming 'no'? Struggling to set boundaries, whether in your personal life or at work? Well, you're in the right place because today, we're talking all about boundaries, codependency, and how to reclaim your power.

Joining me for this DTH episode is my new friend, Barb Nangle. Barb is not just any coach—she's a boundaries coach, speaker, and author who has been through the trenches herself. In 2015, at the age of 52, after decades of therapy and self-help, Barb found her true calling in 12-step recovery programs like Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics. Since then, she's transformed not only her life but the lives of countless others through her unique BUILD framework.

Today, Barb's going to share her journey from codependency to empowerment, and trust me, you don't want to miss a word. We're talking about reparenting, trauma, the fine line between kindness and being nice, and how understanding our motives can help us live healthier, happier lives. And, of course, we'll explore how setting boundaries can lead to more meaningful conversations—even with people who see the world differently.

Takeaways

• Codependency is a focus on others' needs and a lack of attention to one's own needs.
• Boundaries are crucial in all areas of life and can help individuals identify and address codependent behaviors.
• Recovery programs like Al-Anon and ACA provide tools and support for healing from codependency and trauma.
• Reparenting involves giving oneself the love and care that was lacking in childhood.
• Codependency and narcissism often go hand in hand, and it's important to recognize and address these patterns in relationships. Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and practicing self-care.
• Being kind to oneself is essential for being kind to others.
• Understanding our motives can help us determine if our behavior is healthy and helpful.
• Filling our own cup first and taking care of ourselves allows us to better help others.
• Using boundary skills can facilitate meaningful conversations with people who have different perspectives.

Learn more about and connect with Barb Nangle by checking out the full show notes at www.DerateTheHate.com.

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Bridging the Generational Gap Between Parents and Pre-Teens

Friends, this week we’re following a common theme but approaching it from a bit of a different angle. The theme is bridging gaps through communication but this time we’re discussing the generational gap that many parents and their children struggle with.

Today, I'm joined by a true expert in the field of parent-teen communication—Marcus Higgs. Marcus is a communication coach with a mission to help parents of pre-teens bridge the ever-widening generational gap. He's someone who believes in the power of showing up, doing the hard work, and connecting with your child before it’s too late. With a rich multicultural background—born to a Filipino mother and a Bahamian father—Marcus has spent over 15 years working across continents, from East Asia to South America. He’s here to share his incredible insights on how to navigate the challenges of the tween years, and let me tell you, he brings a wealth of knowledge on how to communicate effectively across both generational and cultural divides.

In today's conversation, we’re going to dig deep into what it takes to maintain those all-important connections with your pre-teen. We’ll explore how self-identity, virtues, and values can be the building blocks of a strong relationship. We’ll also talk about the role of social media and how you can guide your teen through its murky waters of that ugly internet ecosystem.

Marcus is going to break down some powerful frameworks for communication that will help you accept, build upon, and challenge perspectives with curiosity. We’ll discuss the importance of emotional intelligence, creating space for others to express themselves, and how expectations and unconscious biases can shape our interactions.

So get ready to be inspired, challenged, and maybe even a little uncomfortable—because that’s where the magic happens. Whether you're a parent, a mentor, or just someone striving to connect better with those around you, this episode is packed with insights you won’t want to miss.

Learn more about and connect with Marcus Higgs by checking out the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com.

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Exploring the Parallels Between Classical Music and Effective Communication

Friends, today, we’re stepping into the world of classical music—a world filled with passion, dedication, and the pursuit of perfection. But it's also a world that can be riddled with intense pressure and toxic environments that can leave even the most talented musicians feeling inadequate. 

I’m thrilled to have with me a truly inspiring guest, Mary Beth Bryant, a certified Suzuki Method cello instructor who has dedicated her life to teaching and nurturing the next generation of musicians. Mary Beth is no stranger to the challenges that come with the territory. With extensive training under the internationally acclaimed cello pedagogue Irene Sharp in San Francisco, she’s helped countless students achieve their dreams, with many of them earning full scholarships and admission into prestigious conservatories.

But what really sets Mary Beth apart is her passion for communication—both musically and professionally. She believes that the most important quality in a musician isn’t just technical skill, but the ability to communicate effectively. And that’s what we’re diving into today.

In this episode, Mary Beth opens up about the darker side of classical music—stories of students who have faced degrading and demoralizing comments from their teachers, leading to feelings of inadequacy and, in some cases, even addiction. It’s a tough reality, but Mary Beth brings hope and actionable advice to the table. We’re going to talk about why it’s crucial to teach children that mistakes are okay—that they don’t define who they are as musicians or as people. 

We’ll also explore the fascinating parallels between music and communication. Mary Beth shares how active listening, curiosity, and emotional regulation are not just essential skills in life, but also key to thriving in music. And, of course, we’ll be wrapping up with some practical tips for parents and teachers on how to create a safe, supportive environment that fosters growth and well-being for young musicians.

So, if you’re ready to dive into an eye-opening conversation that’s packed with wisdom, heart, and a whole lot of actionable insights, stick around! You’re not going to want to miss this one. 

Learn more about and connect with Mary Beth Bryant by checking out the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com.

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Transforming Lives By Recognizing Our Unique Value, Purpose and Power

Imagine, if you will my friends, a world where our first identity is our value, truly recognizing our own value – where understanding our unique purpose and power can transform not only our lives but also the lives of those around us. That’s the vision of my friend Regi Wilson, a true 21st-century Renaissance man. Now you may remember Regi from DTH episode 148 if you’ve been listening awhile.  Regi’s incredible journey spans the music industry, where he’s worked alongside legends like Chaka Khan, Mary J. Blige, and the one and only Prince Rogers Nelson, better known as just “Prince”. But his mission goes beyond music. Regi is the driving force behind the concept of value identity and the Human Value Initiative at theequaluniverse.com.

Today, Regi returns to the show to share updates on his groundbreaking work in Hawaii, including an online education tool and a virtual museum dedicated to value identity. He’ll explain how embracing our value identity creates safety and connection, moving us away from divisive identity politics and towards a focus on our common humanity. We'll explore the lessons learned from pain, the power of individual observation, and the boundless potential that lies within each of us.

Takeaways

• Value identity is about creating safety in our relationship with ourselves and becoming safe spaces for others.
• Our first identity is that we are all valuable, and understanding our unique purpose and power allows us to empower ourselves and others.
• Observing and learning from every situation and person helps us grow and find the benefits in discomfort and pain.
• We should focus on our common humanity and the benefits we bring to each other, rather than getting caught up in identity politics.
• Nature wastes nothing, and we should strive to make the most of our time, minds, bodies, and love.

Learn more about and connect with Regi Wilson online by checking out the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com.

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Academic Freedom vs. Academic Censorship In The Wake of Covid-19

Today we are diving deep into a topic that’s more relevant than ever – academic freedom and academic censorship, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Joining me is my brilliant friend Dr. George F. Tidmarsh. In this week’s episode, we’re exploring the tension between elite academic ideas and the real-world experiences of our friends in the blue-collar American heartland. We’re breaking down the walls of polarization and shining a light on the urgent need for reforms in how funding is distributed in academia. It’s all about ensuring freedom, preventing censorship, and fostering an environment where open and free scientific discourse can thrive!

We’ll talk about the clash that occurred during the pandemic, where debate was stifled and trust in our institutions was shaken. George and I discussed how we can rebuild that trust through truth, civil discourse, and an unwavering commitment to progress. In part inspired by the work I’ve been doing with Braver Angels, Dr. Francis Collins and Dr. Jay Bhattacharya, we touch briefly on an event that will be taking place at Stanford University in the fall, and the healing that it is sure to inspire.

If you’re passionate about the truth, eager for reform, and ready to join a conversation that’s crucial for the future of our society, this episode is for you! So, buckle up and get ready for another episode you won’t want to miss!

Takeaways

• Academic freedom and academic censorship are important topics to explore, especially in the context of the COVID-19 pandemic.
• The clash between elite academic ideas and the real-world experiences of blue-collar workers highlights the need for open and robust debate.
• Reform is needed in the way funding is distributed in academia to ensure academic freedom and prevent censorship.
• Trust and truth are essential in rebuilding public trust in institutions, and civil discourse is crucial in facilitating progress and finding solutions.

Learn more about Dr. George F. Tidmarsh by checking out the full show notes for the episode at www.DerateTheHate.com.

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Are You JUST Showing Up or Are You TRULY Showing Up?

Friends, one of the many great pleasures of doing this podcast is getting to dive deep with my guests into the stories and ideas that inspire and challenge us! Today, we've got an incredible conversation lined up with someone who's all about the art of truly showing up in life. 

My guest, Marcy Axelrod, isn't just talking about showing up in the everyday sense. She's breaking down the difference between simply going through the motions and being genuinely present, engaged, and deeply connected with the people and experiences around us. Are you living life on autopilot, sleepwalking through your days? Marcy's got some eye-opening insights that will have you rethinking how you interact with the world.

 In her book, 'How We Choose to Show Up,' Marcy provides a practical blueprint for living a more meaningful and connected life. We're talking about the importance of emotions and logic in our decision-making processes, and she’s sharing tools for better interactions, especially with those we disagree with. Imagine stepping back, taking a deep breath, and seeing the big picture. It’s all about being grounded, ready, and intent on making a positive impact.

Takeaways

• Just showing up is going through the motions and interacting with others in the same way we always have. Truly showing up is being present, engaged, and deeply connected with the people and experiences around us.
• Many people spend most of their time just showing up, going through life on autopilot and not fully engaging with the world.
• Finding meaning and fulfillment in life requires being present, engaged, and connected with others. It involves being aware of our emotions and using both logic and emotions to make decisions.
• Tools for better interaction with others include stepping back, breathing, and zooming out to see the big picture. It also involves being open to listening and absorbing the perspectives of others, even if we disagree with them.
• Being grounded in ourselves, ready for the situations we encounter, and connected with the intent to serve society are the skills needed to truly show up in life.

Learn more about and connect with Marcy Axelrod by checking out the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com.

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!