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What happens when we stop trying to win arguments and start trying to understand each other? 

In this episode of Derate The Hate, Wilk Wilkinson sits down with Sydney-based creative and entrepreneur Jonah Primo, producer of Australia’s #1 philosophy podcast Principle of Charity and host of The Overexamined Life. Together, they explore how empathy, mindfulness, and the principle of charity can shift the way we engage with others—especially when we disagree.

Jonah shares his powerful personal journey from dissatisfaction to deep fulfillment, shaped by years of studying philosophy, meditation, and lived human experiences. This conversation dives into the mental frameworks that help reduce polarization, foster gratitude, and bring presence into everyday life.

🎧 Topics include:

• The principle of charity: engaging with opposing views in good faith
• Why tribalism leads to moral blindness
• How mindfulness helps us manage anger and anxiety
• Using philosophical tools for practical, real-world fulfillment
• The importance of honoring lived experiences in dialogue

If you’re tired of toxic discourse and ready to rethink how we relate across divides, this one’s for you.

🔗 Learn more about Jonah Primo’s work:

• The Overexamined Life podcast
• Principle of Charity podcast
• StudioPrimo productions

🧠 Whether you’re curious about improving dialogue, managing your emotional triggers, or just living with a bit more joy, this episode delivers.

🎧 Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review if this conversation resonated with you!

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

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Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Send Wilk a text with your feedback!

Episode 259 – Dr. Bruce Chalmer: When Communication Isn’t the Real Problem in Relationships (or in Society)

What if the root of conflict in our relationships — and in our divided world — isn’t a failure to communicate, but a failure to tolerate discomfort?

In this episode of Derate The Hate, I sit down with couples therapist and author Dr. Bruce Chalmer to explore how anxiety, not poor communication, is often the true barrier to meaningful connection — both in marriages and across ideological divides.

Bruce has worked with couples for nearly 30 years, and his book It’s Not About Communication! challenges everything we think we know about relationship struggles. But what makes this conversation especially powerful is how deeply his insights apply beyond romantic partnerships — to how we engage in tough conversations with those we disagree with.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

✅ Why communication isn’t the root problem in many relationships
✅ How anxiety disrupts connection and meaningful dialogue
✅ Why tolerating discomfort is essential to emotional intimacy
✅ How ideas lead to growth, but ideologies often create rigidity
✅ The impact of confirmation bias on both romantic and political conversations
✅ Why faith in others’ humanity is foundational for bridging divides
✅ How the tools of couples therapy can strengthen civil discourse

We also discuss Bruce’s podcast with his wife Judy, Couples Therapy in Seven Words, where they explore love, faith, and what it means to truly connect in a world that often prioritizes being right over being human.

Key Takeaways:

✅ Emotional connection requires vulnerability, not just technique
✅ Communication “problems” are often anxiety in disguise
✅ Real transformation comes from deep listening and mutual respect
✅ The goal of conversation isn’t to win — it’s to connect
✅ We must create shared space for dialogue, even amid disagreement

Learn more about and connect with Dr. Bruce Chalmer by getting the full show notes at www.DerateTheHate.com

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

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Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Send Wilk a text with your feedback!

Episode 287 – Rebuilding Social Trust Through Place-Based Community Engagement with Eric Higbee

In this powerful episode of the Derate The Hate podcast, Wilk Wilkinson sits down with landscape architect, community organizer, and writer Eric Higbee to explore the transformative power of place-based community engagement in our increasingly fragmented society.

Eric shares insights from his multifaceted work at the intersection of placemaking, civic renewal, and social psychology. Through his award-winning design practice, Convene, and his respected Substack newsletter, The Answer is Community, Eric helps individuals and local governments build deeper, more empathetic relationships where they live.

 Key Topics Covered:

✅ Why online interactions can’t replace real, local community engagement
✅ The psychology behind building empathy and reducing social anxiety
✅ How intergroup contact theory supports community healing
✅ The dual role of grassroots organizing and local government in fostering social cohesion
✅ How common cause projects can unite people across ideological divides
✅ The importance of physical spaces in creating social trust
✅ What civic participation really looks like in your own neighborhood

Top Takeaways:

✅ Civic renewal starts locally—through real-world relationships and shared purpose
✅ Empathy and anxiety reduction are vital for bridging social divides
✅ Both individuals and local governments must take ownership of community wellbeing
✅ Place-based communities are the foundation for lasting social cohesion

Whether you’re a local leader, community-minded citizen, or simply tired of online polarization, this episode will inspire you to engage more deeply with those around you—and offer tools to get started.

Learn more about and connect with Eric Higbee by getting the full show notes for this episode at www.DerateTheHate.com. 

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Send Wilk a text with your feedback!

The End of Solitude, Culture, and the Fight for Individuality

In this episode of Derate The Hate, host Wilk Wilkinson sits down with award-winning essayist, cultural critic, and author William Deresiewicz for an insightful conversation on solitude, the internet’s impact on society, political polarization, and the importance of civic engagement in an increasingly fragmented world.

William Deresiewicz is the author of The End of Solitude: Selected Essays on Culture and Society, a powerful collection that examines how digital technology has reshaped our relationships, eroded genuine human connection, and deepened societal divides. As a former Yale and Columbia professor and an influential voice in cultural criticism, Bill brings a unique perspective on individuality, self-examination, and the need for real community in an age dominated by online interactions.

Key Takeaways from this Episode:

✅ The Importance of Solitude: How the internet has altered our relationship with solitude and why reclaiming it is essential for deep thinking and self-awareness.
✅ The Internet & Society: The ways in which digital technology has reshaped our social interactions, often leading to community decay, polarization, and dehumanization.
✅ Political Polarization & Self-Examination: How emotional investment in beliefs fuels division and why intellectual humility is critical for a healthier civic discourse.
✅ Civic Engagement as an Antidote to Online Toxicity: The role of real-world community-building in counteracting the negative effects of social media-driven discourse.
✅ Pro-Human Philosophy: As a new member of the ProHuman Foundation’s Board of Advisors, Bill discusses the need to reinforce individuality and shared humanity in today’s divided culture.
✅ The Future of Culture & Identity: Why people are growing dissatisfied with extreme ideological divides and how embracing nuanced, human-centered discussions can lead to positive change.

Learn more About William Deresiewicz in the full show notes for this episode at DerateTheHate.com

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Send Wilk a text with your feedback!

Breaking the Cycle: Trauma, Emotional Intelligence and Rewriting Human Connection

Here at the DTH podcast, we don’t just talk about division, anger, and outrage—we focus on solutions, on healing, on finding common ground in a world that so often feels fractured.

Today, I have the privilege of sitting down with someone who understands that journey firsthand. Brandon Bishop is not just an advocate for emotional intelligence—he’s a disruptor, a visionary, and the founder of TrueEQ, a movement dedicated to redefining human connection. Brandon’s life has been shaped by deep trauma, by emotional isolation, and by a society that often values status over substance. But instead of letting that define him, he’s used it as fuel—to build a platform that challenges the very systems that keep us disconnected.

His story is raw. Raised in an emotionally barren home, perfectionism became his survival mechanism. But over time, he saw through the rigid ideologies—whether religious, corporate, or social—that prioritize control over compassion. And that realization led him to a new mission: to help others break free, reclaim their worth, and build relationships rooted in self-awareness, resilience, and radical authenticity.

Through TrueEQ, Brandon is creating something different—an intentional social network that isn’t about algorithms, clout, or ego, but about real human connection. He believes that emotional intelligence is the key to personal growth, meaningful relationships, and ultimately, a better society. And he’s not just talking about it—he’s doing something about it, building a space for those who are willing to step beyond the noise, lean into vulnerability, and rewrite the rules of connection.

Takeaways

• Emotional intelligence is crucial for meaningful relationships.
• Personal experiences can drive advocacy for emotional intelligence.
• True EQ aims to connect individuals based on emotional intelligence scores.
• Building resilience is key to overcoming trauma.
• Self-awareness is foundational for developing emotional intelligence.
• True EQ provides a safe space for real conversations.
• The platform is designed to foster supportive connections.

Learn more about and connect with Brandon Bishop by getting the full show notes at DerateTheHate.com

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Send Wilk a text with your feedback!

Censorship in the Arts and the Fight For Free Expression

Today’s episode is part of our ProHuman Foundation Board of Advisors series, where we have been highlighting voices committed to promoting our shared humanity, open dialogue, and diverse perspectives.

My guest today is someone who embodies those values in her work and advocacy. Rosie Kay is an internationally renowned dancer and choreographer whose career has taken her across the world, using the power of movement to explore deep societal issues. She’s the founder of K2CO and Freedom in the Arts, a vital organization dedicated to protecting artistic freedom and defending artists against cancel culture.

Rosie is also a fellow board advisor for the ProHuman Foundation, where we work alongside other thought leaders to push back against the growing culture of division. Her own journey in the arts has come with its challenges—particularly as political ideologies and conformity have taken hold in creative spaces. She’s been at the center of debates on gender ideology, free expression, and the role of self-discipline in art, and today, we’re diving into all of it.

We’ll explore how self-censorship is creeping into the arts, why gender ideology is impacting women’s rights and spaces, and why open debate is essential for understanding one another. Rosie’s perspective is a powerful reminder that courage, resilience, and a return to shared humanity are more important than ever.

Takeaways

• Dance is a powerful medium for expressing societal issues.
• Artists often face pushback for challenging the status quo.
• The arts have become increasingly conformist in recent years.
• Self-discipline is essential for artists alongside self-expression.
• Political alignment in the arts can lead to self-censorship.
• Fear and loathing have created a hostile environment for artists.
• Gender ideology impacts women's rights and spaces.
• Art connects the body, mind, and spirit in profound ways.
• Open debate is crucial for understanding differing viewpoints.
• The Pro Human Foundation promotes shared humanity and diverse beliefs.
  
  
• photo credit ~ Brian Slater

Learn more about and connect with Rosie Kay by getting the full show notes at DerateTheHate.com

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Send Wilk a text with your feedback!

The Transformative Power of Forgiveness: Unlocking Healing and Resilience

Today we’re diving back into a topic that I believe is fundamental to personal growth, emotional healing, and resilience: forgiveness.

Now, we all hear that word a lot—people say, “Just forgive, forget and move on,” like it’s some quick decision, a one-time event. But my guest today, Katharine Giovanni, knows firsthand that forgiveness isn’t a destination—it’s a process, a journey, and sometimes, the hardest step we’ll ever take.

Katharine is a three-time award-winning, best-selling author, a dynamic speaker, and a highly sought-after forgiveness coach. Beyond the accolades, what makes Katharine truly stand out is her personal story of resilience. From surviving stage 3 breast cancer to overcoming a traumatic childhood, she’s lived through experiences that many would call unforgivable—and yet, she’s found a way to move forward, not just surviving, but thriving.

Her latest book, The Ultimate Path to Forgiveness: Unlocking Your Power, is a game-changer because it doesn’t just tell you to forgive—it shows you how with a step-by-step approach. 

Takeaways from our conversation today:  

• Forgiveness is essential for personal healing.
• Self-forgiveness is often the hardest but most important step.
• You can forgive without wanting a relationship with the offender.
• Forgiveness can be a step-by-step process.
• Energy plays a significant role in how we experience forgiveness.
• Forgiving others can lead to emotional freedom.
• You can forgive even the unforgivable by breaking down the memory.
• Forgiveness is a journey, not a sprint.
• Your energy attracts similar energy from others.
• Forgiveness can transform your life and relationships.

Learn more about and connect with Katharine Giovanni  by getting the full show notes for this episode at DerateTheHate.com

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Send Wilk a text with your feedback!

Do You Want Revenge or Do You Want a Better America?

Today, I have the privilege of welcoming back award-winning filmmaker, writer, and storyteller, Eli Steele. Eli is known for films like How Jack Became Black, What’s Bugging Seth, and most recently, What Killed Michael Brown?—a powerful and thought-provoking documentary he produced with his father, Shelby Steele. He also shares his insights on his Man of Steele Substack, where he continues challenging narratives and pushing for deeper discussions on race, identity, and the American experience.

Eli and I dive into one of the most pressing issues facing our country today—the growing desire for revenge in our political and cultural landscape. Too often, we see frustration turning into retribution, but where does that really lead us? Do we move forward as a nation by tearing each other down, or is there a better path—one rooted in accountability, responsibility, and reconciliation?

We’ll talk about how history has shaped the current racial and political climate, why the victimhood mentality is so destructive, and how the cycle of revenge only deepens division. Through the powerful Tar Baby analogy, we’ll explore how getting stuck in anger and resentment holds us back from real progress. 

This is a conversation about moving beyond identity politics, beyond blame, and beyond the toxic cycles that keep us from truly thriving.

Takeaways

• The desire for revenge can consume individuals and hinder progress.
• The "Tar Baby" folk story illustrates the futility of seeking revenge.
• Historical context is crucial in understanding current racial dynamics.
• Revenge often leads to the creation of new tribal divisions.
• Empathy and compassion are vital in overcoming hatred.
• The fight for equality has been ongoing and complex.
• Trump's presidency is seen by many as a reaction to long-standing frustrations.
• Seeking revenge can compromise American principles and values.
• True progress requires moving beyond identity politics. 
• Revenge leads to a never-ending cycle of conflict.
• Education is crucial for societal improvement.
• Civic engagement is essential for community rebuilding.
• We must talk to our neighbors to understand each other better.
• The complexities o

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Send Wilk a text with your feedback!

The Exponential Power of Gratitude: Unleashing Your Happiness Equation 

Let me ask you: How do you measure happiness? Is it something you chase, or something you cultivate?  What if I told you there’s an actual equation for happiness? A way to measure it, understand it, and most importantly, optimize it? That’s exactly what today’s guest, Leighton Campbell, has uncovered in his latest book, Your Happiness Equation.

Leighton is a devoted husband, father of four, successful entrepreneur, and passionate reader who has traveled the world in search of deeper meaning and fulfillment. Through his journey, he’s identified seven key variables that shape our happiness—but there’s one element that doesn’t just add to the equation—it amplifies it: Gratitude.

In fact, gratitude isn’t just another piece of the puzzle—it’s the exponent. It strengthens every other factor in the equation, multiplying its impact on your well-being. Want more peace? More purpose? More fulfillment? Gratitude magnifies all of it. And today, Leighton is going to break down exactly how that works.

We’ll also explore the difference between fleeting joy and lasting happiness, the power of self-awareness, and why chasing the wrong things can actually lead to less happiness. And for those wondering where they stand, Leighton’s got a happiness quiz that will help you assess your own equation.

Takeaways

• Gratitude is the genesis of happiness.
• Happiness is a long-term sense of peace and satisfaction.
• Chasing fleeting joy can lead to unhappiness.
• The happiness equation consists of seven key variables.
• Self-awareness is crucial for personal growth.
• Gratitude acts as an exponent in the happiness equation.
• Belonging to meaningful groups enhances happiness.
• Understanding your purpose contributes to happiness.
• Optimizing happiness is more important than maximizing it.
• Everyone can benefit from assessing their happiness score.

Learn more about and connect with Leighton Campbell by getting the full show notes at DerateTheHate.com.

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!

Send Wilk a text with your feedback!

Mastering Resilience and Emotional Intelligence Through Storytelling 

My guest today is the incredible Madelaine Claire Weiss. She’s a Harvard-trained psychotherapist, mindset expert, and board-certified executive coach. With a background that spans corporate leadership, education, and mental health, Madelaine has dedicated her career to helping people navigate life’s challenges with clarity and confidence.

She’s the bestselling author of Getting to G.R.E.A.T.: A 5-Step Strategy for Work and Life, which breaks down a powerful framework for personal and professional success. And now, she’s bringing that wisdom to young minds with her new book, What’s Your Story?—a personal development workbook for kids featuring a character named Brainy, who helps children understand how their minds work and how they can take control of their own narratives.

In this conversation, we’ll explore the role of storytelling in resilience, why emotional intelligence is key to making better decisions, and how parents can equip their children with the coping skills they need to thrive. We’ll also break down her G-R-E-A-T framework—grounding, recognizing, exploring, taking action, and tackling resistance—and how it can help all of us lead happier, more fulfilling lives.

Takeaways

• Resilience can be built through storytelling and emotional awareness.
• The G-R-E-A-T framework includes grounding, recognizing, exploring, action, and tackling resistance.
• Children often lack the emotional intelligence to cope with challenges.
• It's essential to honor emotions and use them as data for decision-making.
• The brain is a story-making machine, and we can improve our narratives.
• Parents should teach children about the brain and how it works.
• Emotional intelligence is crucial for making sound decisions.
• Grounding in the belief of a great life is the first step to achieving it.
• Action is necessary for happiness and personal growth.
• Understanding the internal environment is key to overall well-being.

Learn more about and connect with Madelaine Claire Weiss online by getting the full show notes at www.DerateTheHate.com

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter(X) , YouTube

Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop our Derate The Hate Merchandise store by clicking here!

I look forward to hearing from you!