Difficult Relationships - Christian Wisdom for Life's Toughest Ties

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Have you ever been so fed up with a narcissist's behavior that you just wanted to call them out, tell them off, and expose their lies? Hold on! 

Before you take that leap, you need to know something crucial. What if I told you that calling out a narcissist will backfire in ways you never imagined? In this blog, we’re diving deep into why confronting them is a bad idea, what they’re likely to do in response, and the surprising alternative God has for you. 

But first, I want to share a story about Brenda. Brenda came to me years ago, overwhelmed by the realization that not only was her mother manipulative, but her 32-year-old daughter exhibited severe narcissistic traits. For years, Brenda believed her mother’s lies, thinking she was damaged and disrespectful. She took on the responsibility of trying to make her daughter more respectful and appreciative, never realizing the true nature of their behaviors.

When Brenda finally understood what was really happening, she was ready to confront both her mother and her daughter. With her daughter, she wanted to share what she had learned about narcissism, hoping to open her eyes and stop the abuse. But with her mother, Brenda was done. She was fed up with the lies and the blame that she had suffered her entire life. She saw through her mother's manipulative, gaslighting tactics and was determined to let her know she was onto her.

“She’ll have no choice but to stop once she knows I’m onto her,” Brenda told me confidently. “Brenda, are you sure about that?” I asked. “Yes, why wouldn’t I be? Now I know, and she needs to know that I know,” she insisted.

Despite my advice to proceed cautiously, Brenda confronted both her mother and her daughter. She was loving but firm, ready to set the boundaries she had rehearsed in her mind for a week. But then, something unexpected happened. Both discussions spiraled into a toxic quagmire, leaving Brenda drained, confused, and feeling out of control.

“What went wrong?” she asked me, bewildered. “I was loving with my daughter and firm with my mother. What happened? It’s like it backfired on me.”

I kept my mouth shut with the thought "I tried to warn you" lingering in my mind. Brenda’s situation is, unfortunately, all too common.

Whether your narcissist is a conniving coworker, a manipulative mother, an entitled child, or a childish spouse...

You've likely reached a point where you finally have a name for what you've been experiencing. You finally understand that their behavior is just as destructive as you sensed it was. You're done beating yourself up and you're ready to call it out. You're ready to call out the lies, the inconsistencies, the exaggerations, the half-truths, the manipulations... You're done holding it in. If there's any hope for them to change, if there's any hope to keep your sanity, you feel you have to say something.

Maybe you simply want to point out the contradictions in their stories so you can both finally get on the same page. Maybe they consistently say one thing one day and the complete opposite the next. Maybe your husband blames you for him having to work so hard, despite how many times you’ve begged him to retire because “he loves what he does.” So you ask, which is it… you love what you do, or you're doing this because I’m making you? The truth is, the answer is whatever suits that moment, whatever makes them look like the hero and the victim. Neither is true and both are true. But since they can’t take responsibility for themselves an

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
https://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Coursehttps://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/

Do you ever wonder how some people are able to handle toxic, evil people with such grace, while others constantly get sucked into the drama?
Join me as we dive into how wise Christians handle narcissists.  

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
https://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/

Are you ready to expose those wolves in sheep's clothing?  Join me as we dive into the 5 clues to spot a 'christian' narcissist.

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
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Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
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Join me as we dive into the 3 signs God is removing toxic people from your life

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Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
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Join me today as we give you the clarity you're craving by revealing the 5 Signs God is Protecting You from a Narcissist.

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Be sure to grab a copy of your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide to learn how to identity and deal with all the difficult people in your life.  Grab your guide here.  https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Do you feel like the magical connection you once had with the narcissist now feels more like a death grip? 

 You, my friend, have likely fallen prey to the narcissist’s deceptive new-age belief that is making Christians everywhere vulnerable to manipulative people— that there is a pre-destined soulmate out there who will complete you. 

I want to share with you why this new-age belief that you once thought was romantic and biblical is actuallyleading you down a path you may never recover from. 

 I also want to share with you the shocking reasons why the narcissist NEEDS you to believe this, plus how to recover if you've already fallen into this trap.  

 To do that, I want to tell you about Eli. 

 Eli was a talented potter who lived in a quaint village nestled at the edge of a lush forest. Eli was known all over the world for his exquisite pottery, each piece more beautiful than the last. However, Eli had a secret: he claimed a mystical clay from the forest was the source of his pottery’s beauty.  

He spoke of a legend, a tale of "The Perfect Clay," a material so pure and adaptable that only the most deserving artisans, destined by the stars, could find and use it. 

Intrigued by the promise of creating pottery as beautiful as Eli's, many villagers ventured into the forest, hoping to be the chosen ones to find "The Perfect Clay." Eli encouraged them, saying that only those with a true potter's soul, bound by destiny to the craft, would succeed. Yet, the forest was vast and the search endless. Many villagers became so obsessed with finding the mythical clay that they neglected their own craft, waiting for a destiny that never materialized. 

Meanwhile, back in the village, Eli continued to produce his pottery, not from mystical clay, but from the same earth as everyone else.  

His true talent lay in his skill and dedication, honed over years of practice—NOT in a magical ingredient. The villagers, lost in the pursuit of an illusory perfection, failed to realize that the beauty of pottery—and indeed, life—lies in the passion and effort, not some magical formula. 

Your narcissist is likely just like Eli, but instead of the perfect pottery, they're in search of the perfect partner. 

In fact, this new-age belief that there is a perfect, predestined partner is likely what wooed you in the beginning but is now leaving you feeling inadequate and constantly striving for their approval. 

Yes, narcissists believe in soulmates.And I'm going to share why.But I also want to share why you shouldn't.  

Soulmates are based on thebelief that you are 'complete' once you find that ONE perfect person created just for you. 

Believing that there's that one ideal individual that was created to complete you may sound romantic in movies, but it flies in the face of Colossians 2:10 that says, “You are complete in Christ.”

So, my friend, if there is no cosmic connection in the universe that is pulling you toward another person and if the work of the cross is already finished for you, why do narcissists need to believe in soulmates?  

Let's break down three primary reasons. 

Reason #1: It guarantees lasting admiration 

Narcissists are addicted to admiration, much like a plant basking in the sun's rays. It's a need. 

This insatiable hunger for external validation fuels their s

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Sometimes people-pleasing can keep you in the toxic relationships longer than you'd like. To find out what type of people pleaser you are, be sure to take the FREE quiz below. Am I a People Pleaser Quiz?  Discover Your Type
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Have you ever read the NTV Bible?

 No I'm not referring to the KJV, NIV, or my all time favorite--the ESV.

 I'm talking about the NTV--the narcissist twisted version. The one where they take God's truth and distort it beyond recognition to suit their narrative. The one that leaves you feeling dazed and confused. 

 In any version of the bible, you will find the inerrant truth of God's word. But what happens if you're being fed a distorted version?

 If you've been living with a narcissist who loves to quote scripture to you, you've like been fed the NTV--the narcissist version of the truth.

 So which one do you believe?

 My hope is to help you stop the manipulation.

 That’s why I’m going to breakdown the four scriptures narcissists just can’t resist twisting, their main motivator when using these scriptures, and the foolproof benchmark to ensure you are never manipulated again by misused scripture.

 The narcissist’s misuse of scripture is like a chef twisting a classic pasta recipe into some distorted version for their own gain.

 Maybe instead of the regular ingredients, he decides to add a few extra that he's got lying around, a few that are about to expire, and maybe even an idea that he'd like to try—at your expense. And I'm not talking about complementary ingredients. I'm talking about ingredients that don't belong and completely distort the dish. Like peanut butter in lasagna.

The foundational elements are there but the finished dish is distorted beyond recognition. It's no longer appetizing. It’s food, but it's not what it was intended to be. In fact, it's repulsive.

 The same is true for the narcissist’s use of scripture. They don’t use scripture for it’s intended purpose but rather to serve their own selfish agenda, leaving those who are feeding off of their mess, confused and malnourished.

So why do narcissists twist scripture?  

The truth is, they can't resist. Scripture is a weapon for them to use against you. Satan did it to Jesus in the wilderness when he twisted three scriptures to try and get him to back off from his ultimate mission—the cross.

While the Word of God is a powerful weapon, much like that recipe, the narcissist turns that weapon into a weapon of manipulative destruction.

In fact there are four driving forces behind the narcissists craving for scripture:

1.     Get you to do something for them

2.     Get you to stop doing something to them

3.     Get you to believe their lies

4.     Get you to assume the blame

It really is that simple.

Their motive has always been and likely will always be self-focus—self-protection and self-preservation.

They actually don’t care if you’re following biblical principles. They don’t care if you’re honoring God in who you are and what you do. They only care how your actions impact them.

Scripture is only used to their benefit NOT yours.

In other words, trusting a narcissist to use scripture properly is likely hiring a wolf to guard the sheep.

So what are the scriptures that they LOVE to manipulate you with?

Twisted scripture #1

I know you've heard this one before. You've likely had it thrown in your face every time you raise an issue. It's tossed about every single time they don't want to face the consequences for their actions.&n