In this inaugural episode, we wade into an internet subculture known as the “dark feminine,” a viral beauty trend turned hetero dating strategy.

Dark feminine influencers promise liberation from fuckboys and toxic straight relationships, with TikTok videos and ebooks that teach women the art of seduction—and not texting men back.

Behind the goth-meets-glam makeup tutorials and affirmations about “pretty privilege,” there lurks sexism, gender essentialism, and a truly dark view of both heterosexuality and feminism.

Remember: You can listen to our episodes on Substack or via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and other major podcasting platforms.

Show highlights

01:39 Amanda watches some TikToks that we don’t have the rights to play, but you can watch them here

03:00 Selling a fantasy of turning the tables on men

05:56 Dark femininity goes mainstream

07:21 Amanda affirms her “pretty privilege”

11:23 What do these women want?

15:06 The racial dynamics of playing with “darkness”

16:50 Tracy’s embarrassing Angelina Jolie anecdote

18:03 Myths, folklore, “shadows,” and the Carl Jung of it all

20:57 Witchcraft and feminine power

23:39 Dark femininity as a response to patriarchy

25:46 Shitty dating dynamics

30:38 The overlaps of “dark” and “divine” femininity

32:44 What’s this have to do with the femosphere?

34:43 The dark feminine and… sociopathy?

39:32 Feminine ideologies as an alt-right pipeline

50:01 Reimagining femininity beyond stereotypes and heteronormativity

Dire Straights is a 100% scrappy, aging-millennial feminist operation coming to you at exactly the right time in history. We’re not financially dependent on corporate media or advertisers. If we had normal day jobs, this podcast would probably get us fired from them. Paid subscriptions really do liberate us— and so do your little hearts and shares.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe

Welcome to Dire Straights, a feminist podcast critiquing heterosexual love, sex, politics, and culture. Dire Straights is hosted by Amanda Montei and Tracy Clark-Flory, a couple of longtime journalists, essayists, critics, and authors.

Our show is a skewering of straight existence—and an exercise in imagining new possibilities. Each episode, we’ll unpack the most dire elements of hetero culture, like:

* Couples therapy

* Dating apps

* Sex strikes

* Monogamy

* Age-gap romances

* Cries of “but what about men?”

* The orgasm gap

* Antifeminist “feminism”

* Sex positivity™

* The manosphere

* Decentering men

* Pro-natalism

* “Dark feminine” influencers

We explore sex and dating alongside marriage, divorce, and the relentlessly unequal realm of hetero parenting and the nuclear family. We also consider celebrities and politicians as case studies. Tech bros, tradwives, and TERFs are also up for examination.

Along the way, we turn to beloved feminist scholarship, call on radical contemporary thinkers, and share our own personal stories, as we try to sketch out more hopeful visions of love, sex, relationships, and romance.

This is a 100% scrappy, aging-millennial feminist operation coming to you at exactly the right time in history. We spend countless hours researching, writing, recording, editing, and producing each episode. We’re not financially dependent on corporate media or advertisers, and if we had normal day jobs, this podcast would probably get us fired from them.

Paid subscriptions are the best way to make our work possible, so head over to our show page at direstraightspod.com to subscribe and get full access to the show.

Free subscribers get:

* One full episode and one paywalled episode every month.

Paid subscribers get:

* Two full episodes a month. No paywalls, ever.

* Access to the Dire Straights community via chats and episode comment threads.

* A growing list of fun extras, including advice and bonus discussions.

Founding subscribers get:

* Annual paid subscriptions to both Tracy’s AND Amanda’s newsletters plus all paid Dire Straights perks. You save $50 for going all in on us and you'll be supporting the hell out of independent feminist media in a time of journalistic collapse and feminist backlash.

If you’re interested in supporting us more deeply in the long term, please get in touch at [email protected].

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.direstraightspod.com/subscribe