Divorce Coaches Academy

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How often have you heard a client say “I’m miserable and I can’t imagine going on like this. I’ve tried and tried and nothing is changing. But … I’m afraid to get divorced.” They typically go on to share about all the problems in their marriage until they come to the big BUT that’s keeping them stuck.

And the 3 most common things that keep clients from moving forward are fears about:

• Money
• Kids
• Conflict

In this episode we're talking working with clients who're trying to decide if they want to stay in their marriage or get divorced. We dive into research about unresolvable relationships conflicts, the rise in marital mediation, explore the often forgotten 3rd option of "waiting with intention", and the powerful questions to ask clients when they're stuck on their big BUT's and fears.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra chat about why this question is right in our wheelhouse and review the tools and strategies you can use to bust through those big BUT's that are creating obstacles to your client's decision making.

While we can’t make the decision for them, we can certainly offer lots of clarity and self-discovery to support them in making the choice that leads to their own fulfillment and happiness whether that means staying or leaving.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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In previous episodes, we’ve covered conflict styles, some magic words to use in mediation and the idea of tiered proposals, but today we're talking about one the most effective negotiation strategies there is - and that’s arguing with questions.

We’ve talked before about the ineffectiveness of positional bargaining, but it’s often the only way our clients have been taught to negotiate. They make the mistake of starting off negotiations by stating their position and then proceeding to JADE (justify, argue, defend or explain) why their position is valid and their partner should agree to it. JADE-ing continues back and forth and conflict escalates until someone backs down enough to come to a compromise or they walk away and lawyer up.

But there’s another way...and it's arguing with questions. 

This is just one reason why divorce coaching can be the key to more successful negotiations. Because we have the chance to work with our clients at the individual level, we can create self-awareness. We have the chance to change those old limiting beliefs about positional bargaining. And we know that when one party shows up differently, the dance doesn’t look the same. 

Listen in as Tracy and Debra walk through these 3 tools you can use to help clients learn to argue with questions.

• Modeling
• Scripts and Vocabulary Lessons
• Role Play

Teaching your client to approach conflict with curiosity instead of justification or accusation will serve them well not only in their divorce negotiations, but in all their future relationships.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

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Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Make-believe or pretend play is an almost universal part of every kid's childhood. Most children love pretending to be everything from superheroes to astronauts, doctors, dancers, firefighters, and moms and dads. Today, we're getting into some tools you can use when you find yourself working with clients whose expectations and beliefs are keeping them squarely stuck in a state of make-believe.

Divorce expectations can be inherited from friends and or family experiences. They can come from from television shows, reality TV and movies about divorce. The problem with these expectations is that they often distort our client's perception of reality and make them see or hear what they want to see and hear rather than what’s really there. 

When clients have unrealistic expectations of divorce, whether positive or negative, they can experience disappointment and stress when reality closes in. And that, in turn, can escalate conflict.

Reality testing is the ability to distinguish between what' s real and what' s not and it's a key component of emotional intelligence. Reality testing in divorce coaching helps our clients to avoid making choices or decisions that are based on unrealistic expectations, mindsets, or beliefs.

Listen in as we offer some tools and powerful questions you can use with clients to give their expectations a tune-up in preparation for a better divorce experience.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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We’ve all experienced it. Clients who can’t stop talking about their pain, are fixated on wanting to re-litigate past hurts, and who blame their partner for everything that isn’t going smoothly in their divorce process or co-parenting relationship. These clients are stuck in the problem cycle. And when they’re in the problem cycle, they can only see the problem. They can’t focus on solutions, so conflict resolution is nearly impossible.

Regardless of why they're stuck in the problem cycle, we see 3 consistent things that prevent our client from getting relief or resolution. Blaming their partner or co-parent for the problem. Focusing on the past and their pain rather than the future and their power. And allowing their negative emotions (blame) and a state of activation (pain)  to throw fuel on the fire of an already tense situation

It’s our job as ADR specialists to help clients break out of that cycle and become more focused on taking action that can get them closer to their desired outcome. And we use a 3-step process to accomplish this:

1. Identify the problem (recognize conflict)
2. Develop alternative solutions (generate options)
3. Implement and evaluate (reflect and assess)

When we're able to successfully help clients move beyond the problem cycle, they can focus on empathetic problem solving and desired outcomes. And that allows them to take control over managing the conflict and take their power back.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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This week we’re going to take a classic children’s story and use it as a model for approaching proposal development with your clients. Goldilocks and the Three Bears is such a legendary fairy tale. You could ask just about anyone and you'd get the same general story. The three bears leave their home to go out for a walk. Goldilocks happens by and goes inside to explore the place. She samples the porridge and tries out their chairs and their beds.  She assess each and determines that they are too hot, too cold, too big, too small, too hard, too soft, and finally, just right. Breaking and entering aside, we think there’s a lot to learn from Goldilocks when it comes to developing proposals in divorce that are just right.

So how do we use all these lessons from Goldilocks with clients working on divorce settlement proposals? Well, in order to help get clients prepared to be in that flexible thinking frame of mind, we like to work with them to develop Tiered Proposals. This helps avoid major negotiation mistakes like a my way or the highway approach and it helps them plan for both receiving and making counter proposals. That’s what keeps the conversation going and increases the chance that they can reach resolution.

This process of working through tiered proposals helps clients eliminate ideas that are too hot, too big or too hard and encourages them to reach beyond ideas that are too cold, too small or too soft. This intentional, strategic process allows them to find the range of solutions that are “just right” for them.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk through Goldilocks syndrome, the Goldilocks rule, and the Goldilocks principle and how they apply when supporting your clients in developing flexible thinking and a problem solving approach when it comes to crafting tiered proposals.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

One of the most common complaints we hear from divorce coaches is that they aren’t getting as many clients as they had hoped and that means they aren’t hitting their revenue goals. If that’s a struggle you’re facing, then this episode is for you. We’re giving you the 411 on crafting your elevator pitch so you can be prepared to talk about what you do in a way that makes people excited to know more.

The key to getting referrals and consult calls is effectively describing what you do and the value you provide. An elevator pitch is simply a very short, targeted way to describe what you do as a divorce coach. Think of a situation recently where you met someone new and they asked you what you do. How did you answer that question?

To craft an effective elevator pitch, focus on a specific problem or pain point that your potential client or referral partner has. Next, consider how working with you helps them solve that problem. Now boil all that down until you can create a 15-30 second statement that sounds like this:

I help…people with this problem
Get…these results
So they can…have this outcome

This seems simple, but it’s not easy. But trust us. If you do this right, the person on the other end will ask more questions. This won’t be the end of your conversation. Your elevator pitch is only the appetizer. But it has to pack enough punch to make the other person go “Wait, what? I want more.”

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk through the elements of an effective elevator pitch and give some examples to get your creative juices going.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Do you want to make more money in your coaching business? Would you like a steadier, more reliable inflow of new clients? What if we told you that spending time and money on marketing is not the most effective way to make either of those happen? This week we want to dive into the importance of session focus and how it’s the critical, but often overlooked key to creating raving fans and referral business.

As a professional, certified divorce coach you save clients time, money, and emotional energy - and when they get those benefits they can’t wait to tell others about their experience with you. Just like you share when you find a great new restaurant, landscaper, or hairstylist, they want their friends, family, co-workers, and others to know how much you helped them.

And it all starts with Session Focus. When we neglect this first 5-8 minutes of a coaching session, we fail to set a course for delivering value. The conversation rambles, coaches get lost in the weeds, and the client walks away without clarity or action steps. And that means lost referrals and lost revenue.

So what does it look like to effectively establish session focus?

Listen in as Tracy and Debra walk you through using your GPS  for Success (Gather, Prioritize, Strategize) so you can nail that session focus every time.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Our clients show up with a multitude of problems, questions, and difficult dilemmas. And the truth is, we’re tempted to offer a solution or an answer because it’s faster, easier, and eliminates our client’s distress. Today we want to talk about that urge to tell clients what to do - or what we call superhero syndrome.

One of the most difficult things to navigate as a divorce coach is that we can see the road ahead, have knowledge and insight the client doesn’t have, and want desperately to help them avoid mistakes and problems. It’s tempting to want to put on that superhero cape and rush to the rescue. But it’s not effective.

Giving the answer isn’t the answer. The best solution for our clients is to help them develop skills to make their own decisions and take their own best next action steps and we have 4 tools to do that.

• Active/Reflective Listening
• Powerful Questioning
• Reality Testing
• Impact Assessment

This work with your clients takes discipline. Every coach has to occasionally fight that urge to tell or just hand our client the solution. But, trust that your client has it in them. It’s your job to help them find it.

You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Divorce coaching is a relatively new profession, so most coaches offer a short, initial complimentary or free block of time for the client to get to know them and understand the value of the services we provide. And unless you got into this business as a ministry, you probably want to convert that initial conversation into a paying client. In this episode we want to focus on how you can consistently crush that consult call and grow your business.

But before we talk about the conversation itself, we talk about the purpose behind the conversation. It’s sales. If that made you feel icky, take a pause. Selling is nothing more than helping. Your prospect has a problem, and you have the solution.

What you call this initial conversation and the language you use sets your potential client up to anticipate a certain experience with you.  We break down the 3 most common types of initial conversations (complimentary consultation, discovery call or strategy session, mini-session or laser focus session) talk through the differences.

We are big fans of the consult call and we go into depth about why we have such a crush on this kind of conversation for building your business. We even give you a 4-step script you can use to help you close more sales.

So how do you conduct an effective initial conversation that converts into a sale? Professionalism, scripts and follow up are the three keys to building your business. Listen in as Tracy and Debra give you all the tips to stop wasting time on unproductive calls and start getting paying clients.


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

You may have heard that DCA is going global. And today we're honored to introduce you to Anne-Marie Cade - the DCA™ Director of Learning and Development for Australia. 

She is an award-winning lawyer and mediator, a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner, Certified Divorce Coach and Parenting Coordinator as well as a speaker, trainer and lecturer in law. She has a Masters in Family Dispute Resolution and Negotiation and was recently named Australian Mediator of the Year 2023 (Right?). She was also awarded a Churchill Fellowship recently and she traveled to 16 cities around the world  in 2022 researching “Best Practice in Parenting Coordination” with a view to informing the implementation of the practice of Parenting Coordination in Australia. 

We can't possibly list all her credentials, but trust us, she is a rock star when it comes to ADR processes in Australia and we couldn't be more excited to have her as part of the DCA leadership team. She is passionate about the work she does as Alternative Dispute Resolution professional with families, individuals, and corporate teams to help them reach peaceful resolution.

In her role at DCA, Anne-Marie leads the Q&A calls as well as oversees the professional mentorship for the DCA Australian divorce coaching certification program. We’re big fans and can't wait for you to hear more from her about her journey from lawyer to mediator to divorce coach and her passion for bringing DCA's certification to Australia.

Enjoy!

Our first cohort for DCA ADR Divorce Coach Certification Australia begins the week of July 24. If you'd like more information, schedule a meeting with Anne-Marie at www.divorcecoachesacademy.com or reach out to her at [email protected].


You can learn more about DCA™ or find out about any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]