Divorce: The First Six Months with Peter Maestrey

in this episode, a deep dive into what this means on both sides of the spectrum is shared. Looking into the cost versus the payoff of being a victim or victimizing. Identifying some of the patterns in which it exists and also exploring some of the solutions available to us now. This topic is a very serious one, and many of us who have experienced it or are currently experiencing it does not have the necessary tools readily available sometimes because of whatever limitation we might have. 

This episode was created for those that are in this situation. I hope that my observation brings you closer to understanding and finding peace.

In our final episode with Segev, we begin with a mantra he follows. "I am man and I serve love." He shares how this helped him, how it shaped him and how he just more of that now. As we begin to realize that we are completing our conversation, we get a side of Segev that shares insight into what it was like to be divorced with children and how expectations are a building block to what you want to make happen. 

We hear how a man takes responsibility for the good, the bad, and the ugly. Making a future for himself that allows him to find gold in every opportunity. 

It has been very refreshing to share all the episodes leading up to this one, as well as, this particular one. As a man, you seldom have the space to really be vulnerable and share weakness as Segev has done in this series. I hope that other men, as well as, women. Have the chance to hear it all and discover for themselves what Segev has shared. 

In this episode, Segev shares how uncomfortable it is to go against the grain, to risk self-expression. How within his life he has maneuvered to gain acceptance and love out of others expectations. He speaks about how much he cried during his first six months and how he grew to love the process. 

How to manage fear is not exactly what the title means. I say this because each of us is different and fear is a much larger thing to manage than a 10-minute podcast. But, do not be discouraged, I do offer up some insight into the world and you will have some solutions presented to you. The important thing to know going into this episode is that we are going to look into how managing fear can be managed.  

In this episode, we look at the elements that made his life liveable. How finding himself again began with a choice and how the actions of that choice led him here. We learn the importance of reconnecting with one's self and how Segev discovered that. We also learn the perspective he nurtured to achieve the freedom around remembering who he is and what that looked like for him back when. 

Segev has done a lot of work on himself to get to where he is today, and most of it began with looking at himself first. He talks about how people choose the kids as the purpose to keep them going and how that didn’t work for him. How he began to see, to remember, or Re-Member as he says who he was and wanted to be for his kids. 

This episode is special, it shows us, the listener, how the road to healing begins with you, and also ends with you.

In this episode, we look into expectations and the many things that showed up around it with Segev. From being obese with skin issues and diagnosed with an autoimmune deficiency disease to the start of his healing, which began when he stopped giving a shit.

Learn how he began to honor himself and stopped being guided by expectations. Find out how he began trusting himself and most importantly owning who he was. The road is never easy, but when you hear people like Segev share their experiences, you begin to see the road traveled on is really the journey to something else. 

In this Weekend Nugget I reflect on all the things 2021 and make a request of you, the listeners. Something new is brewing in the horizon and I am eager and hungry to share it with you real soon. In the meantime, enjoy another Nugget for the weekend and thank you for keeping me in your ears while we create another year of insights into divorce. 

Happy New Year!

In this episode, we listen to Segev speak about how important it is for him that his kids know that they are loved. He shares how he used to think that being in their lives all the time meant being a good father, especially during the first six months. He shares how being present for them, Chaperoning field trips, picking up, dropping off. Parent-teacher conferences. How this made him feel like a good father. 

Listen to the episode and learn what version of himself was needed at different times to be present. You want to listen to all of it and how it took him 8 years to reach acceptance with his ex as their mom. Accepting how she shows up as a mom, how his expectations or ideas of what he wants her to be is met with better or worse. What he does to be okay with the obstacles.

Be ready to hear what worked for him and how he sources his steps. As a dad of two, with an Ex who is not quite yet an X, it takes constant reflection and mindfulness to find the light in situations. Segev provides a slice of what that looks like for him in this episode.

Segev is the first person we have a conversation with within DTF6M that is technically not divorced, but has gone through or is going through what a divorced person goes through. He has two boys, the youngest with special needs and he is a Masculine Embodiment Relationship Coach. 

What I learned from Segev in this episode and the ones to come which I hope you will listen to was the acceptance of what life places on his doorstep. He navigates his conversations and obstacles with deep reflection and observation.

He ends this episode with his thoughts of what being a good man was to him and begins by stating that he left the marriage several times, even though he is still not divorced. He shines a light on what honoring himself really means and declares that he did not know how to in the beginning. How that was a reflection of his upbringing and available knowledge. 

Segev shares a side of him most would not. He tells you he has cried without apologizing for his manhood. He paints the picture of what he went through and how he overcame in a way we can all understand and relate to. He does all this and more in his conversations. I invite you to listen to all of his episodes in order so that you can learn how his story unfolded.

In our final episode with Daniel, we close this series by looking back at the beginning and saying out loud what most don’t admit. We don’t know how to navigate a divorce. No one goes into it a marriage thinking about this ending as an option. We don’t prep for the process, or the life that comes after divorce, it’s new territory. 

He also talks about dating after divorce and how that was for him. Giving some suggestions on what he would do differently, which is not date immediately after his divorce. He shares some personal experiences about it. He is also a big voice when it comes to speaking up about what works for you, and what doesn’t. Sharing and expressing yourself so that you get what you are missing. All this and more inside this episode.

My personal takeaway from Daniel’s conversation is that we all have the potential to be genuine when we speak it into existence. No matter how messy it can sometimes get, when we speak up about what works and what doesn’t, we can move forward in a way that compliments who we are.  

If you want to know more about Daniel and what he is up to, you can find him on Instagram at @daniel.herrold, or his website www.DanielHerrold.com.  He is also a co-founding member of a great community called Divorced over 40, which can be found locally across most of the United States, and more directly at www.Divorcedover40.com.