Today on the show we are talking about self-sabotage. This is something that clearly can destroy our own life as well as others if not handled properly. Self-sabotage can be as simple as not making the choices that we know will help us or that are not aligned with who we want to become. Other examples of self-sabotage include: giving up on a fitness journey too soon, not asking someone you like out on a date, or being too afraid to start that side hustle, project, or new career that you’ve dreamt about. Obvious forms of self-sabotage include making decisions you know can make your life worse like doing drugs, drinking excessively, staying in toxic relationships, not showing up for work or school or repetitive negative self-talk.

 

Watching someone you love and care about “self-sabotage” can be heartbreaking. And we’ve all seen ourselves doing self-sabotaging behavior as well.  You might be asking yourself why do we do this and how can we stop.  

 

After today’s episode, you will certainly have these questions answered.

 

Dr. Judy Ho joins me on the show today. She is a triple board certified and licensed Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, a tenured Associate Professor at Pepperdine University, an author most recently penning “Stop Self-Sabotage,” a book detailing a scientifically-driven six-step program to stop self-sabotage.

 

We will take a deep dive into all things self-sabotage including the 4 reasons that you do it and the exact steps you must take to understand, unwind and stop it in its tracks.  We will also discuss the close relationship between self-sabotage and procrastination.

 

Topics discussed:

 

What inspired Dr. Judy to write an entire book about self sabotage?

Why self sabotage does touch every single human being at some point in their live

Judy’s advice for people who want to move through the next phase and continue along the journey of achieving what they want

The LIFE acronym:

 

L - low or shaky self-esteem

I - internalized beliefs

F - fear of change or the unknown

E - excessive need for control

Real life examples Dr. Judy has seen that a lot of people can relate to

The importance of embracing fear and embracing change

The scientific way to unwind the self sabotage knot in people’s lives

Dr. Judy shares some of her teaching techniques

The importance of understanding your pattern

The 6 steps to stop self-sabotage explained

 

Takeaways:

 

People think, “Well, if I'm feeling this or I'm thinking this and it must be true,” and a lot of times it's not, and we don't have to beat ourselves up about it. In fact, it's sort of like your brain trying to do its best to protect you.

 

You have to find some way to ride through that anxiety.

 

“When people procrastinate, it's not usually because you're lazy. You're procrastinating because you have all of these ideas about how you want to do it right. And you don't want to start the process until you can do it right. But then before you know it, you run out of time, and that's where the self-sabotage happens.” Dr. Judy Ho

 

Rewiring our brain is always something possible no matter what age you are

 

People don't realize that they're self-sabotaging sometimes, because they're just not aware, and they're not having enough mindfulness to their internal dialogue.

 

Self-compassion is much more of a motivational factor than beating yourself up.

 

Once you understand what your triggers are, you understand why you have these barriers to completing a specific goal.

 

The more you rehearse in your mind, it's actually making connections as if you were doing it in real-time.

Connect with Judy:

 

Website: https://www.drjudyho.com/

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjudyho

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/doctorjudyho

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/drjudyho

 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTNfTTZFoAscM1CKoWKJkbQ 

 

Connect with Doug

 

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