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If your teen has been vaping, using weed, lying, or just seems totally unmotivated—and you’re tired of the constant arguments or feeling unsure how to help them turn things around—this episode is for you. 

Amber Hollingsworth is an addiction specialist and creator of the YouTube channel Put The Shovel Down—and in this interview, Amber shares what really helps when teens are experimenting, struggling, or unmotivated to change.

Amber shares 

• Why “waiting for rock bottom” backfires—and what creates change instead
• The #1 most enabling behavior (hint: it’s not giving $20)
• How to "Drop the rope” and get out of the tug-of-war and lower the resistance
• How you want natural consequences vs. parent-imposed punishment to do the teaching
• What true boundaries actually look like: spoiler - they are rules for yourself, not your teen
• How to build “credit” with your teen so your words carry weight

Key Takeaways:

• Don’t be the villain. When you argue, threaten, or lecture, you become the distraction that keeps your teen from looking inward.
• Let the world be the bad guy. Natural consequences teach; parent-made punishments often fuel denial and blame.
• Boundaries are about you. “If you’re arrested, I won’t pick you up”—that’s a boundary. “You can’t leave the house”—that’s a rule you likely can’t enforce.
• Lead with empathy, then influence. “I get why fitting in matters” opens ears; lectures close them.
• Build credibility (“credit”). When your teen feels understood, your guidance finally lands.

Where to find Amber:

• Put The Shovel Down on YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@PutTheShovelDown/videos
• Consults/coaching webiste: https://www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/
• Free Resources: https://www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/free-resources

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