Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today’s guest is Abraham Mehboob Alam, LMFTA (they/them). Our conversation today centers around identity development and some helpful guidelines in approaching family therapy with queer youth. All Aboard !

1:00 Kathryn and Ronda ask for Abraham's help and correction with any language bias, or closed mindedness heard in our questions or comments.

4:19 Abraham discusses being cautious and intentional about family sessions with queer youth/clients. Abraham describes using active listening for indicators about the parent's comfort and acceptance of their child's identity.

7:00 Abraham discusses the absolute need for collaboration with the minor client/youth in what is discussed in a family therapy session.

11:30 Kathryn and Abraham discuss the nuance of being intentional and cautious about topics addressed in family therapy sessions. 

13:30 Abraham describes possible ways that the EFFT therapist can respond to the parent's conjecture about their child's identity such as "how did you come to that conclusion?"

16:00 Abraham emphasizes maintaining a zoomed out approach to the conversation about their child's identity -- talk in generalities "so it can't be traced back to the client."

16:55. Kathryn makes explicit that the EFFT therapist needs to maintain close collaboration with the client about the focus/agenda of family sessions.

18:40 We discuss that identity development is a private matter until a youth is ready for their identity to not be private anymore, in their own time and way.

23:15 Abraham and Kathryn explore what it could mean about the family system if something noticeable is not talked about by the family.

27:00 Abraham makes the point that when therapists and parents are leaning in with curiosity to their child's identity development to also lean with openness to education and correction -- including the nuance between "who is my child going to be?" versus "who is my child".

34:00 Abraham leaves their final message to EFFT therapists: 1. do your own research/education and then take this back to the client, 2. be open to correction and feedback.

Thank you for listening! 

Kathryn is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.

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