SEND Parenting Podcast

EP 140: Meltdowns, Decoded


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What if the meltdown in your hallway isn’t defiance at all, but a terrified nervous system asking for help? We go straight to the heart of “challenging behaviour” with Laura, a teacher and mum of neurodivergent twins, who moved from daily crisis to a calmer, kinder home by changing how she understood panic, overload, and connection. Her story spans premature birth, early diagnoses, masking at school, and the moment everything fell apart—then slowly came back together.

We break down the physiology of fight or flight in plain English—what rising heart rate, redirected blood flow, and sensory overwhelm do to a child’s thinking brain—and why sticker charts and lectures backfire mid-meltdown. You’ll hear the hidden social demands most of us miss: the chirpy morning greeting, the barrage of car-ride questions, the insistence on eye contact. We swap over-talking for visuals and scripts, and share a deceptively simple morning playlist that turned dread into momentum. Curiosity replaces blame through a great example of literal thinking (yes, he handed over the red and blue food colouring—because that’s what was asked).

We also map the sensory layer—why kicking and slamming can signal a need for proprioception—and how a realistic sensory routine lowers baseline stress. A striking moment at a cricket match shows how the right environment can flip chaos to clarity in seconds. Boundaries still matter, but timing is everything: teach after calm, not during crisis, and make consequences predictable, visual, and discussed in advance. If you’ve felt hopeless, ashamed, or judged, this conversation will hand you language, tools, and the relief of being understood.

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SEND Parenting PodcastBy Dr. Olivia Kessel


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