June 20, 2025

Ep 37 - The Parallels of My Dating Life and Ali Hazelwood's The Deep End: A Dating Update and a Book Review From the Lens of The Kink Consultant

37 minutes

What happens when a self-proclaimed vanilla romance lover brings a spicy book to The Kink Consultant for a breakdown?

In this episode, I’m joined by Brenda (my Bizdom) and Tish (my podcast editor and first-time guest) as we kick off the official Kink Consultant Book Club with a deep dive into The Deep End by Ali Hazelwood, plus a quick update on my own dating life. I share my take on the book through the lens of a kink consultant and why the story felt a little too close to home. Because while we were reading about a dom who disappears for days and a sub who doesn’t speak up for what she needs, I was ending a real-life relationship that unraveled for the exact same reason: lack of communication. The timing couldn’t have been more aligned.

We explore the difference between fantasy and functional dynamics, how kink is portrayed in books versus how it plays out in real life, and why honest communication will always be hotter than skipping straight to the sex.

If you’ve ever read a spicy scene and thought, “Wait… is this how it actually works?” or you’re curious about how kink and power exchange show up beyond the page, this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights:

04:21 Discussing 'The Deep End' by Ali Hazelwood

11:01 Amanda's Relationship Update

15:09 Navigating Kink and Communication in Relationships

19:03 Cultural Differences in Communication

20:44 The Importance of Communication in Kink

25:32 Sexual vs. Non-Sexual Kinks

30:29 Fantasy vs. Reality in Kink

35:29 Final Thoughts on 'The Deep End'

36:32 Join the Kink Consultant Book Club

Join the Book Club:

https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership

Read Deep End by Ali Hazelwood:

https://amzn.to/43PFYiY

Connect with Me:

⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠
⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

...more

View all episodes

By Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant

4.9

3131 ratings