Have you heard the term “pick your battles?” It’s not just a quip! Used thoughtfully and systematically, it can be an amazing tool in your behavioral toolbelt! It helps reduce power struggles, preserves energy (yours and theirs), prioritizes safety and core values, and creates opportunities for positive choices.

Join us as we discuss this and other ways to alleviate the power struggles with my friend and colleague Alicia Like, M.Ed., BCBA.

📝Takeaways :

1.  🎯Keep in mind the GOAL of the task. If you are working on writing, is the goal the penmanship or is the goal the concept, the organization? If it’s the concept, then does it matter if they use a crayon instead of a pencil? If the goal is to sit at circle time for 5 minutes, does it matter if he sits on a chair or on the floor? Be flexible on what you are requiring and what you are able to “let it go” (in the words of Elsa).

2.  🖼️For the most oppositional behaviors, keep in mind the FRAME concept. Know your non-negotiables beforehand, those things that just have to be. Then allow for lots of fluidity in the middle. We have to go to the bus, but we can walk, we can dance, we can ride in the wagon, we can silly sing on the way. We obviously can’t punch our friends, but we can punch this bag, we can kick this ball, we can scream into this pillow. Be clear about those non-negotiables beforehand, but whenever possible, let there be flexibility “in the middle.” Let the student have as much choice and say for the rest of it.

3. 🚫Avoid saying NO as much as you can! It is possible! Try these:
“As soon as…” -- when something else needs to be done first. “As soon as we get this work done, we can totally get those cars out.”
“No, but…” -- when something needs to be done instead. “No, but we can use this marker instead of that one.”
”Not yet…” -- when something needs to be done later. “Not yet, but we can do it after lunch. Let’s put it on your calendar so we will remember!”
Obviously, some NOs are unavoidable, but when it’s possible, give it a try! A more positive response may be just the magic you need to turn a situation around!
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💎 Today’s GEM: This week, see how often you can turn a “no” into a “no, but,” “as soon as,” or a “not yet.”

⏰ We have something to save you TIME this week! ⏰

‌Links:

• Find the visuals from today’s episode here:    https://abainschool.com/dontsweatit
• Check out this FREEBIE - a special education checklist for a classroom full of positive energy:   https://abainschool.com/checklist

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