In this episode of Regulated & Relational, Julie Beem and Ginger Healy discuss the concept of self-compassion, drawing insights from Dr. Kristin Neff's work. Dr. Neff, a researcher in the field, defines self-compassion as treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a close friend. She breaks it into three elements: mindfulness (being aware of struggles), connection (understanding we're not alone in challenges), and kindness to self (responding with warmth instead of self-criticism).

Julie shares her own struggles with self-compassion and how it can be difficult to confront pain, often either ignoring it or fighting it. Self-compassion, according to Dr. Neff, allows people to pause, acknowledge the difficulty, and respond with care.

Dr. Neff emphasizes that self-compassion isn’t just a feel-good idea; it literally rewires the brain by activating the parasympathetic nervous system and increasing emotional regulation. It improves mental and physical health, supports decision-making, reduces stress, and enhances resilience.

Julie and Ginger also provide five practical ways to incorporate more self-compassion into daily life, including mindfulness, self-care, journaling, connection with loved ones, and positive self-talk.

Supporting Resources

Dr. Kristin Neff

https://self-compassion.org/

Dr. Neff’s books

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=dr+kristen+neff&crid=218H6KXMNYTJ&sprefix=dr+kristin+neff%2Caps%2C145&ref=nb_sb_noss_1