Let's talk a bit about deception. I don't need to say it here, but I will. Deception is wrong and does trigger incongruence. On the flip the side the challenge you could have is that when you get nervous or uneasy you might be showing signs or deception. What I am saying here is that even if you are telling the truth and think you are congruent, you might be sending signals of incongruency and deception. The audience can't always identify exactly what is making them distrustful, but they feel that way and that is all that matters to them. What happens is we all have micro expressions that happen so rapidly the conscious mind can't see them, but the subconscious can sense them. These are quick mannerisms in the face that reveal deception or nervousness. Another one that causes an increase in their deception radar is a disconnect between your emotion and your reaction. For example if you make an angry face, then hit the table with your hand 5 seconds later, that would be an obvious red flag you are not feeling that emotion. Careful that you are congruent with every aspect of your message.

Everyone can pick up on your nonverbal behavior. We sense something is not quite right. Others will sense when there is any form of incongruence or deception radiating from you. Be aware that many of your nonverbal behaviors that you are currently doing will trigger incongruence. It might be a natural part of your behavior, but it could look like deception. Things that could trigger deception:

• Forced eye contact
• Shifting back in chair
• Rubbing or touching lips
• Scratching your face
• Dilated pupils
• Yawning
• Pitch of voice rising