What happens when someone has never been truly listened to?

In this powerful conversation, Michael Reddington sits down with Dr. John DeGarmo, a leading expert in foster care who has welcomed over 60 foster children into his home.

Together, they explore what it really means to listen, especially when working with individuals who have experienced deep trauma.

Dr. DeGarmo shares insights from decades of experience inside the foster care system, revealing how empathic listening, patience, and trust-building can transform lives.

This conversation goes far beyond foster care.

It applies to parents, leaders, coaches, and anyone who wants to communicate more effectively in high-stakes, emotional situations.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

1. What “empathic listening” really looks like in practice
2. Why trying to “fix” problems can actually make things worse
3. How trust is built with people who have every reason not to trust
4. The difference between lashing out vs withdrawing and how to respond
5. Why children lie or steal and what’s really behind those behaviors
6. How trauma impacts communication, behavior, and decision-making
7. The importance of patience, consistency, and emotional control
8. How small actions can create massive impact in someone’s life

Chapters:

1. (00:00) - Introduction to Dr. John DeGarmo
2. (04:00) - What Is Empathic Listening?
3. (08:37) - How Listening Builds Trust and Healing
4. (12:24) - Why Trust Takes Time (and Patience)
5. (17:06) - Trauma-Informed Communication Explained
6. (20:59) - Helping Withdrawn Children Open Up
7. (23:44) - Understanding Lashing Out Behavior
8. (31:49) - Why Children Lie and Steal
9. (38:12) - Turning Awareness Into Action
10. (45:13) - Recognizing Warning Signs and Red Flags

Links and Resources:

1. Foster Care Institute Dr. John DeGarmo - Home
2. John DeGarmo, Ed.D. Keynote Speaker, TED Talk Speaker | LinkedIn -

Sponsor Links:

1. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - Humintell
3. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
4. International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)

Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

How often are your observations actually… wrong?

In this episode, Michael Reddington breaks down one of the most overlooked skills in communication: accurately interpreting what we see and hear in conversations.

Because the truth is, most communication breakdowns don’t happen because we didn’t listen…

They happen because we misinterpreted what we observed.

Michael walks through the most common ways we unintentionally mislead ourselves, and shares practical questions you can use in real time to slow down, reassess, and respond more effectively.

If you want to improve your leadership, communication, and decision-making in high-stakes conversations, this episode will change how you think about observation.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• The 3 ways we unintentionally misread conversations

• Why we often see what we want, choose, or expect to see

• How misinterpretation leads to poor emotional reactions and decisions

• Simple self-check questions to improve observation accuracy

• The role of environment, mood, and context in communication

• How your goals and motivations shape what you notice

• Why observation is a skill you must actively train

Chapters:

1. (00:00) - Introduction: Why Observation Accuracy Matters
2. (01:15) - The 3 Ways We Misinterpret What We See
3. (04:48) - How Misinterpretation Leads to Bad Decisions
4. (07:22) - How to Course Correct in Real Time
5. (09:43) - Asking Better Questions for Clarity
6. (11:25) - The Role of Context in Communication
7. (13:01) - How Your Behavior Impacts Others
8. (14:54) - How Goals and Bias Shape Observations
9. (17:19) - Building Better Communication Habits
10. (21:54) - Final Question: Being Right vs Being Effective

Links and Resources:

1. The Disciplined Listening Method: How A Certified Forensic Interviewer Unlocks Hidden Value in Every Conversation by Michael Reddington
2. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
3. Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - Humintell
4. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
5. International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)

Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What does it really mean to live a meaningful life… and how does that impact the way we communicate with others?

In this episode, Michael Reddington sits down with Terry Tucker, a former SWAT hostage negotiator, Division I athlete, coach, and cancer warrior, to explore the mindset, resilience, and communication principles that shape how we lead, listen, and connect.

Terry shares his powerful framework of “4 Truths and a Lie” and how these ideas influence everything from high-stakes conversations to everyday relationships.

This is not just a conversation about communication.

It is a conversation about perspective, purpose, and how we show up for others.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• The 4 truths that can guide your life and leadership

• Why controlling your mind is foundational to communication

• How to embrace pain and adversity to become more resilient

• The difference between what you achieve vs. what you leave behind

• Why curiosity is one of the most powerful communication tools

• How to put people at ease in high-stress conversations

• The biggest lie that holds people back and how to overcome it

About the Guest

Terry Tucker is a former Division I college basketball player, SWAT hostage negotiator, coach, speaker, and author of Sustainable Excellence: Ten Principles to Leading Your Uncommon and Extraordinary Life.

His diverse background and personal journey through cancer have shaped a powerful perspective on leadership, resilience, and human connection.

Timestamps:

1. (00:00) - Introduction to Terry Tucker
2. (02:00) - The 4 Truths That Guide Your Life
3. (05:00) - Controlling Your Mind and Mental Discipline
4. (09:00) - The Stockdale Paradox and Resilience
5. (12:30) - Embracing Pain and Adversity
6. (15:00) - The Legacy You Leave Behind
7. (18:30) - Curiosity and Deep Human Connection
8. (23:00) - SWAT Negotiation and Communication Under Pressure
9. (27:00) - Putting People at Ease in Difficult Conversations
10. (31:00) - Lessons from Sports, Coaching, and Leadership
11. (35:00) - Building Confidence and Changing Culture
12. (39:00) - The One Lie That Holds People Back
13. (43:00) - Shifting from Achievement to Contribution
14. (46:00) - Finding Meaning in Adversity
15. (49:00) - Final Reflections and Takeaways

Links and Resources:

1. Terry Tucker Website: https://www.motivationalcheck.com
2. Terry Tucker | LinkedIn
3. Sustainable Excellence: Ten Principles to Leading Your Uncommon and Extraordinary Life by Terry Tucker
4. Four Truths and a Lie: Ancient Wisdom For Living Your Modern Purpose by Terry Tucker

Sponsor Links:

1. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - Humintell
3. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
4. International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)

Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this solo episode, Michael Reddington takes a closer look at the concept of active listening and why it may not always be enough in high-stakes conversations.

Active listening techniques like maintaining eye contact, nodding, paraphrasing, and reflecting emotions are widely taught as the foundation of good communication. But what happens when these behaviors create the appearance of listening without actually helping us capture the information that matters most?

Michael explores the origins of active listening, how it developed in therapeutic environments, and why those same techniques can sometimes fall short in professional situations involving leadership, negotiation, investigation, and conflict.

This episode challenges listeners to move beyond simply looking like they’re listening and instead adopt a more strategic approach to communication. By recognizing that listening is a goal-oriented activity, we can better capture meaningful information, strengthen relationships, and move conversations toward productive outcomes.

If you want to improve how you communicate, build trust, and navigate complex conversations, this episode will help you rethink what effective listening really looks like.

Timestamps:

1. (00:30) - The origins of active listening and early research
2. (02:14) - Why active listening works well in therapeutic environments
3. (03:35) - Traditional behaviors associated with active listening
4. (05:05) - Why listening should be treated as a goal-oriented activity
5. (06:28) - Appearing to listen vs actually listening
6. (09:57) - How we deceive ourselves into thinking we listened
7. (11:05) - The role of environmental awareness in conversations
8. (12:27) - How robotic listening behaviors damage trust
9. (14:50) - Why saying “I understand” can create more tension
10. (16:37) - The risks of mirroring behavior in communication
11. (18:12) - Matching behavior vs mirroring behavior
12. (20:10) - When paraphrasing can backfire
13. (22:11) - When traditional active listening works best
14. (22:56) - Clarifying conversational goals before listening
15. (23:40) - Increasing situational awareness in conversations
16. (24:28) - Capturing strategically valuable information
17. (25:11) - Building a conversational strategy to move relationships forward
18. (26:01) - Final thoughts on evolving beyond traditional active listening

Links and Resources:

1. Active Listening by Carl R. Rogers, Richard Evans Farson - https://a.co/d/0h61Mdeb
2. The Disciplined Listening Method by Michael Reddington - https://a.co/d/0b9GQLbq

Sponsor Links:

1. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - Humintell
3. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
4. International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)

Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

Links and Resources:

1. Active Listening by Carl R. Rogers, Richard Evans Farson - https://a.co/d/0h61Mdeb
2. The Disciplined Listening Method by Michael Reddington - https://a.co/d/0b9GQLbq

Sponsor Links:

1. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - Humintell
3. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
4. International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)

Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

I See What You're Saying: The Disciplined Listening Podcast explores the science and strategy behind communication, influence, and human behavior. Each episode focuses on practical techniques that help leaders, investigators, negotiators, and professionals improve their listening skills, strengthen relationships, and achieve better outcomes in their conversations.

In this episode, we explore storytelling, curiosity, and disciplined observation with filmmaker and explorer Chris Baron, founder of Frontier Films and host of the No Ordinary Monday podcast.

After spending more than fifteen years traveling the world filming scientific and nature documentaries for outlets like the BBC, National Geographic, and Disney+, Chris shares how viewing the world through a camera lens has shaped the way he listens, observes, and connects with people. From negotiating access to remote locations to building trust with people across cultures, Chris reveals how curiosity, preparation, and authentic conversation open doors to extraordinary experiences.

Together we discuss the parallels between filmmaking, interviewing, and disciplined listening. Chris also shares unforgettable stories from the field, including negotiating access to historic locations, filming in extreme environments, and the mindset required to capture powerful stories from around the world.

Join us for a fascinating conversation about storytelling, exploration, and how strong listening and communication skills create opportunities in even the most challenging environments.

Timestamps:

1. (00:00) - Introducing Chris Baron and Frontier Films
2. (02:10) - How documentary filmmaking shapes observation and listening
3. (05:45) - Negotiating access to remote and restricted locations
4. (09:20) - Building trust with people from different cultures and backgrounds
5. (14:30) - The mindset required to capture authentic stories
6. (19:40) - Lessons learned from interviewing people around the world
7. (25:10) - Chris Baron’s experiences filming in extreme environments
8. (31:50) - Storytelling and the power of curiosity in conversations
9. (38:15) - Applying disciplined listening in filmmaking and interviewing
10. (46:20) - Launching the No Ordinary Monday podcast
11. (52:30) - Final reflections on exploration, storytelling, and curiosity

Links and Resources:

1. Podcast Website: https://noordinarymonday.com/
2. Company Website: https://www.frontierfilms.tv/
3. Podcast Smart Link: https://pods.link/noordinarymonday
4. Podcast Social Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/Noordinarymonday
5. Chris Baron | IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5835394/
6. Chris Baron | Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisbaron7/

Sponsor Links:

1. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - Humintell
3. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
4. International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)

Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

Learn how leaders can improve listening skills, gather better intelligence, and communicate more effectively in high impact conversations.

In this episode, Michael Reddington explores a surprising challenge many leaders face. The more successful, experienced, and knowledgeable we become, the harder it can be to truly listen.

Senior leaders and technical experts often feel pressure to solve problems quickly. That pressure can push us into validation mode instead of learning mode. Instead of listening for new information, we start listening for the first opportunity to prove we are right, defend our ideas, or move the conversation forward faster.

Michael explains why our brains are naturally wired to seek comfort and confirmation, and how that tendency can prevent us from gathering valuable intelligence during important conversations.

You will learn practical techniques to improve your listening immediately, including how to elevate your outcomes, reduce internal distractions, relinquish control of conversations, and create space for others to share meaningful information. Michael also explains why excuses can actually reveal important truths and how leaders can use patience and curiosity to uncover the real issues behind problems.

These strategies help leaders gather better intelligence, strengthen relationships, and improve decision making in high impact conversations.

Chapters

1. 00:00 Why successful leaders often struggle to listen
2. 01:35 How expertise and experience create communication barriers
3. 03:32 The real reasons we listen in conversations
4. 05:38 Why the human brain is not wired for great listening
5. 07:05 Elevating outcomes and expectations to improve listening
6. 10:23 Why the person with the information controls the conversation
7. 12:02 Staying in a learning mindset and allowing yourself to be surprised
8. 13:30 Limiting internal monologue to capture the full message
9. 16:00 Recognizing emotional triggers and regaining focus
10. 18:09 Why time pressure is the enemy of empathy
11. 20:04 Leading to your expertise instead of leading with it
12. 22:19 Why patience is one of the most valuable listening skills
13. 23:35 Why excuses can reveal valuable truths in conversations
14. 27:45 Key takeaways for leaders looking to improve their listening

Resources

1. The Disciplined Listening Method by Michael Reddington
2. Connect with Michael Reddington
3. https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelreddington/

Sponsors

1. InQuasive:http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: https://www.humintell.com/
3. Enter code INQUASIVE25 for 25% off online training.
4. International Association of Interviewers
5. https://www.certifiedinterviewer.com/

Podcast Production Services

https://everyword.media

In this episode, we explore leadership, trust, and the future of modern policing with retired LAPD Lieutenant Jeff Weninger. With more than three decades of law enforcement experience, Jeff shares insights from his career and research on the evolving mindset required for effective policing today.

Together we examine the difference between the warrior and guardian mindset, how organizational culture shapes behavior, and why leadership, training, and accountability are essential for rebuilding trust between law enforcement and the communities they serve. Jeff also shares lessons on personal responsibility, professional standards, and the role of education and fitness in developing well-rounded officers.

Join us for a thoughtful and wide-ranging conversation on leadership, mindset, and how disciplined listening can help professionals navigate complex and high-stakes environments.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introducing Jeff Weninger and his 33-year career in law enforcement

03:00 Warrior mindset vs guardian mindset in modern policing

08:45 How mindset influences officer behavior and decision making

15:50 Rebuilding trust between law enforcement and communities

24:05 Leadership responsibility in shaping police culture

33:40 Training, education, and professional development for officers

43:20 The role of physical fitness and personal discipline in policing

51:10 Encouraging critical thinking and accountability in organizations

57:40 Final leadership insights and Jeff Weninger’s ongoing work

Links and Resources:

1. (1) Jeff Wenninger | LinkedIn
2. Jeff Wenninger |
3. On Thin Ice: An LAPD Veteran's Journey to Reimagine Policing: Wenninger, Jeff:

Sponsor Links:

1. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - Humintell
3. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
4. International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)

Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive deep into what it truly means to be a great listener. Grounded in critical research, we explore practical strategies and core characteristics that transform the way we engage, build trust, and uncover hidden value in our most important conversations. By focusing on outcome-oriented listening, limiting distractions, and developing curiosity, we discover actionable steps that elevate both our personal and professional interactions. Join us as we learn how investing in these listening skills leads to more productive, trusting, and impactful relationships.

Timestamps:

1. (00:00) - Introduction to becoming great listeners.
2. (01:13) - Defines listening as an outcome-focused activity.
3. (02:00) - Emphasizes elevating expectations to improve engagement.
4. (03:39) - Motivation and caring as it relates to listening.
5. (04:31) - The three tasks of great listeners: build trust, capture intelligence, and apply intelligence.
6. (05:40) - The process of listening: receiving, retaining, interpreting information.
7. (07:12) - Introduces Graham Bodey’s four goal-oriented listening styles.
8. (13:16) - Key characteristics of great listeners.
9. (16:26) - The importance of controlling emotions in listening.
10. (20:36) - Investing time in listening to save time and build relationships.

Links and Resources:

1. Science-Backed Techniques to Improve Your Listening | Graham Bodie | Ep. 45

Sponsor Links:

1. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - Humintell
3. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
4. International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)

Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we have the pleasure of exploring the disciplined art of leadership communication with expert guest Chris Hallberg. We dive deep into the power of systems thinking, the real risks of avoiding hard conversations, and how clear agreements—not blind expectations—drive accountability and success. From practical hiring strategies to lessons learned from military leadership, we uncover valuable methods for inspiring commitment and elevating performance within any team. Join us as we discover actionable insights that empower us to build stronger, more impactful organizations and relationships.

Timestamps:

1. (00:00) - Introducing Chris Hallberg and episode topics.
2. (02:26) - The risks of avoiding hard conversations.
3. (03:27) - How unresolved issues escalate in organizations.
4. (06:06) - Operating systems and clear agreements for leaders.
5. (11:56) - Transforming expectations into agreements to prevent workplace tension.
6. (13:11) - Utilizing Lencioni’s five dysfunctions to build trust and accountability.
7. (20:45) - Rule of seven for direct reports and effective leadership.
8. (24:06) - Hiring based on systems and assessing candidates beyond interview skills.
9. (33:12) - Applying systems thinking to communication challenges and performance reviews.
10. (55:13) - Chris Hallberg’s contact information and resources for veterans.

Links and Resources:

1. Chris Hallberg | LinkedIn
2. Chris Hallberg | EOS Implementer | EOS Worldwide
3. bizsgt.com

Sponsor Links:

1. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - Humintell
3. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
4. International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)

Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

Most of us were never actually taught how to communicate with other adults.

We were conditioned to talk as kids, then we grew up and started leading teams, negotiating agreements, parenting, coaching, and managing high-stakes conversations.

In this solo episode, I’m introducing the Disciplined Listening Method and walking through what it is, why I created it, and how you can start applying it right away.

This method is built from behavioral science, interview and interrogation research, and real-world business communication. But at its core, it is simple.

Create the communication experience the other person needs.

When you do that consistently, you reduce resistance. You build trust. You create commitment instead of compliance.

In this episode, I break down what makes a conversation high impact and the seven core behaviors that help you prepare, engage, and follow up with discipline.

If you lead people, influence decisions, negotiate agreements, or want stronger relationships at home and at work, this is the foundation.

Chapters

(00:00) - Why This Series Matters

(03:45) - What Is the Disciplined Listening Method

(07:50) - Defining High Impact Conversations

(12:15) - The Psychology of Commitment

(16:30) - Three Core Communication Guidelines

(22:45) - The Seven Behaviors

(27:35) - Building Trust Equity

Connect with Michael

1. Website: https://michaelreddington.com
2. https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelreddington/

Grab the Book!

1. The Disciplined Listening Method: How A Certified Forensic Interviewer Unlocks Hidden Value in Every Conversation

Sponsor Links:

1. InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/
2. Humintell: https://www.humintell.com/
3. Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.
4. International Association of Interviewers: https://www.certifiedinterviewer.com/

Podcast Production Services by https://everyword.media