Does confidence affect your ability to persuade? The answer is a resounding yes. It is important that you do not come across as cocky or arrogant. How can you tell the difference? It's all about the intention. Confidence is motivated by a sincere desire to serve—you can help make a difference, and you know you can do a great job. You know that you have the tools, resources, ability, and inclination to do the job that's required of you. In contrast, cockiness is driven by a need to serve yourself, instead of serving others.

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Deep down, cockiness actually reveals insecurity—the very opposite of confidence. The distinguishing feature seems to be intent. Cocky individuals seek approval, recognition, and honor from all the wrong sources, in all the wrong ways, and for all the wrong reasons. They are really looking for pats on their own back. Cockiness is self-centered, whereas confidence is people-centered. Cockiness is about the persuader and confidence is about the customer.

Cocky or arrogant behavior usually elicits these types of complaints:

• He acted like he owned the place.
• She treated me like a child.
• She did not listen to what I wanted.
• He didn't ask permission to . . .
• He blamed others.
• She did not own up to her mistake.
• He never answered my question.
• She always has to be right.
• He is arrogant and condescending.