Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

Episode 261: Justin Cole's Mom


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When Justin Cole started on his peewee football team many years ago, each practice started and ended with a chant. Part of that chant included these words - Never Give Up. As the years went by, the boys eventually stopped playing peewee football, but the friendships continued and the 'never give up' mantra remained important. When Cole suddenly died at 22 years of age in a car accident, many of his former teammates who were planning to be groomsmen at Cole's wedding in 55 days instead became his pallbearers. 

In the first days after Cole's death, his mother Wendy wondered how she would even be able to live a week without her beloved Cole. Her world was forever broken, never to be the same again, but somehow, she did live a week, and then a month. Hope seemed impossible and giving up did not seem like an unreasonable option. Time kept going on, however, whether she wanted it to or not. Finding no grief support locally in her area of Fort Worth, Texas, she turned to social media. She and her husband signed up to take a David Kessler course on grief. That course gave her the first glimmers of hope that she had seen in 2 months.

Through social media, Wendy realized that they were not alone. She found other grieving moms on Facebook in many different groups with many different stories. (Four of them actually had sons named Justin Cole!) She arranged in-person meetings between a few who lived locally and then decided to start her own Facebook group to try to help other bereaved parents. Wendy knew that hope was the key to healing after the devastation of child loss. Parents need to find hope, and Wendy wanted her group to offer that hope to parents everywhere. She named her group 'Never Give Up Hope' in honor of that peewee football team. In just a few short months, the group has grown to 56 moms across North America. They host Zoom meetings on Tuesday nights for members as well with education and discussions on grief. Wendy hopes that in her own little way, she can help encourage parents everywhere to never give up hope.

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Losing a Child: Always Andy's MomBy Marcy Larson, MD

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