Sometimes anger comes quickest, harshest and most easily with those we love or care about. Unfortunately, with those we love anger can do the greatest harm and wounds made with our words may last for a long, long time. In this episode, we learn what anger is, it's function, and what causes it We also practice a mindfulness technique to prevent anger from arising.

The process that causes anger:

We encounter a situation or person that is irritating or painful And unpleasant feelings start arising in the mind. Then we dwell on the faults of that object (Buddha called this in appropriate attention). Through in appropriate attention, this dwelling, our mind becomes and peaceful and uncontrolled and we know that anger has arisen. Once anger is manifest our mind is uncontrolled and we say and do things that are harmful. This is because the function of anger is to harm or destroy its object.

Unpleasant object or situation + inappropriate attention = anger

If, like a broken bell,

You do not reverberate,

Then you have attained Nirvana

And no hostility is found in you. (134)

--Buddha, The Dhammapada

References

Buddha. The Dhammapada: The Buddha's Path of Wisdom. Translated by Acharya Buddharakkhita. Buddhist Publication Society Kandy, 1985. pp. 36.

Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life by Acharya Shantideva. Translated into English by Stephen Batchelor. Library of Tibetan Works and Archives. Dharmasala. April, 1979. Chapter 6.

Je Tsongkhapa. Great Treatise on the Stages of the Path to Enlightenment, Volume 2. Pages 166-169, 171-174. Translated by the Lamrim Chenmo Translation Committee. Joshua Cutler, Editor-in-Chief, and Guy Newlan, Editor.