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In this episode, I'm joined by Erica Komisar, a psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert with over 30 years of experience, to discuss the critical importance of attachment in early childhood development. We explore why a parent's physical and emotional presence during the first three years is fundamental to a child's future mental health and resilience. Erica shares compelling neuroscience research showing how 85% of a child's right brain—responsible for emotional regulation and coping with adversity—is formed in these crucial early years.
We'll walk you through:
✅ Why the primary attachment figure (usually the mother) is irreplaceable in establishing a child's sense of security
✅ How modern society's pressure on women to "do it all" is creating a mental health crisis in our children
✅ Why daycare and technology can't substitute for a parent's consistent emotional presence
✅ The problem with prioritizing career achievement over the sacred work of parenting
✅ How building community support can transform the isolation many mothers feel
Whether you're struggling with guilt about returning to work, feeling pressured by society's expectations, or simply trying to understand what your child truly needs from you, this episode offers research-backed insights that might challenge conventional wisdom but could transform your approach to parenting.
🔔 Remember: This isn't about shaming parents who must work, but about recognizing the biological reality of attachment and finding creative solutions that prioritize our children's emotional wellbeing. Sometimes the most important career decision you'll make isn't which job to take—it's how present you can be during those crucial first three years.
By Dr. Luella Jonk, PhD5
1010 ratings
In this episode, I'm joined by Erica Komisar, a psychoanalyst and parent guidance expert with over 30 years of experience, to discuss the critical importance of attachment in early childhood development. We explore why a parent's physical and emotional presence during the first three years is fundamental to a child's future mental health and resilience. Erica shares compelling neuroscience research showing how 85% of a child's right brain—responsible for emotional regulation and coping with adversity—is formed in these crucial early years.
We'll walk you through:
✅ Why the primary attachment figure (usually the mother) is irreplaceable in establishing a child's sense of security
✅ How modern society's pressure on women to "do it all" is creating a mental health crisis in our children
✅ Why daycare and technology can't substitute for a parent's consistent emotional presence
✅ The problem with prioritizing career achievement over the sacred work of parenting
✅ How building community support can transform the isolation many mothers feel
Whether you're struggling with guilt about returning to work, feeling pressured by society's expectations, or simply trying to understand what your child truly needs from you, this episode offers research-backed insights that might challenge conventional wisdom but could transform your approach to parenting.
🔔 Remember: This isn't about shaming parents who must work, but about recognizing the biological reality of attachment and finding creative solutions that prioritize our children's emotional wellbeing. Sometimes the most important career decision you'll make isn't which job to take—it's how present you can be during those crucial first three years.

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