Episode 67: 5 Differences Between Bosses and Leaders

I was out in public one day a long time ago and ran into one of the paraprofessionals who worked within my department and she introduced me to her husband as her boss. Now, I was probably 10-15 years younger than her and I hadn’t been teaching for very long when this happened so it hit me weird…Me? A boss?

That’s not something that I ever thought I would be called when I was growing up and went to college. I never envisioned myself as someone’s boss because I didn’t go to college to be a boss.

In fact, that word…boss…has a bit of a negative connotation for me because growing up I would always hear things like “Don’t be so bossy” or “ That girl in your class just bosses everyone else around.” I have even said it to my own daughters…don’t be bossy to your sister or don’t boss your friends around.

When you use the word boss as a noun…it doesn’t sound so bad. It means a person who is in charge of a worker, a group, or an organization. So by definition, I guess I am the boss.  I make their schedules. I write their lesson plans. I complete their evaluations. They report to me if they are sick…so it makes sense that they refer to me as their boss.

But as a verb, to boss means:

• to be master of or over
• manage, direct or control
• to order about, especially in an arrogant manner 

 So quite literally “to boss” means to tell employees what to do in order to control them.

These two definitions butted heads within my brain for quite a while and I spent many years trying to work out my role within our department. And  it became evident throughout the years that a boss is not something I wanted to be. I wanted to work on the front lines with my staff. I wanted to build a team culture and I wanted to be seen as a leader instead of a boss.

So today…I want to dig into this a little deeper and explain the differences between the two and hopefully give you some good information on what you can do to become a good leader for your staff.

1. Leaders roll up their sleeves and help out
2. Leaders teach, not scold
3. Leaders offer equality
4. Leaders listen, then speak
5. Leaders lead, bosses push

These 5 differences seem simple enough, but simple does not always mean easy. True leaders make a commitment to assess their management styles, understand these key differences and then make a concerted effort to put these good leadership characteristics into action.

So when making that commitment to becoming a leader versus being a boss, the one thing that I have done above anything else is to learn. I am and always will be a lifelong learner and self-improvement is one of my top priorities when it comes to learning things. I guess I just feel like if I’m not open to learning and growing then how can I expect my staff and the teachers I mentor to do the same.

Here are just 3 of the books I have read to help me become a better leader (affiliate links)

Shifting the Monkey: The Art of Protecting Good People From Liars, Criers, and Other Slackers (A book on school leadership and teacher performance)

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