In this episode we explore a method to help us avoid becoming angry when others criticize us or say hurtful things. We can learn to become an observer rather than becoming entangled with others’ actions. Further, we can become an observer of our own thoughts and feelings instead of being controlled by them. 

 

If someone says you talk too much it’s not about you, it’s about them. It’s a reflection of the weather inside their mind. If their mind is clear and peaceful like a blue sky, their words and actions reflect that. But if their mind is stormy with anxiety or anger, their words are like the lightning and thunder—they aren’t about you.

Ancient is this [saying], O Atula, 

It is not just of today: 

They find fault in one sitting silently, 

They find fault in one speaking much, 

They find fault in one speaking moderately. No one in this world is not found at fault. (227)* 

 

No person can be found 

Who has been, is, or will be 

Only criticized 

Or only praised. (228) 

—Buddha, The Dhammapada 

 

Links and References

Buddha.The Dhammapada. Translated by Gil Fronsdale. Shambala, Boston and London, 2011, pp.60.

Je Tsongkhapa. Great Treatise on the Stages of the Path to Enlightenment, by Je Tsongkhapa, Volume 2. Translated by the Lamrim Chenmo Translation Committee. Joshua Cutler, Editor-in-Chief, and Guy Newlan, Editor, pp 165-166.