November 14, 2017

Eps 118: Tosha Schore talks about how we can parent our boys for a more PEACEFUL world

1 hour 4 minutes

My guest today is Tosha Schore, M.A. Tosha brings a burst of energy and optimism to parenting, and will lift your parenting confidence! She is an expert at simple solutions to what feel like overwhelmingly complicated problems.

A sought after coach, author and speaker, Tosha is committed to creating a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. Through her online and in-person offerings, she supports parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly.

Tosha is a trainer of Hand in Hand Parenting and co-author with the organization's founder, Patty Wipfler, of "Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Challenges." She is also creator of the wildly popular "Parenting Boys Peacefully! A FREE 10-Day Reconnect," and the new online course, "Out With Aggression!"

You can find Tosha on her website, www.toshaschore.com, and on FB at Tosha Schore, Your Partner In Parenting Boys.

Content:

Raising boys in these days of toxic masculinity

Taking a hard look at the ways that men are conditioned

Creating a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time

The question of how to help our boys grow into emotionally intelligent men who don’t see women as objects is worldwide

How to help our boys grow up to be peaceful – Huff Post article

Move beyond the anger and the fear to what we can DO

Opportunity shows up in raising our boys

We need to teach our boys that there are lots of ways to be close that aren’t sexual

It’s ok to talk, cuddle, hold hands – lots of ways of being intimate

Documentary of The Mask You Live InNot giving permission to boys for having intimate friendships with other boys

Navigating the jockeying for power among boys

Redefining what it means to be masculine

What is being modeled in the homes for our boys?

Increase our own emotional intelligence and pay attention to how we navigate and model our own upset

Boys being encouraged to stuff their emotions

Not comfortable with allowing our boys the time and space to have feelings

Help them feel comfortable with their full array of emotions – not just anger

Popular culture isn’t helpful

Advocate/ Fight for the right of our boys to have feelings

AND advocate for them to make mistakes and learn from them

When our boys make mistakes we need to help them

Talk about music lyrics and porn and do it when they are YOUNG

Amy Lang – parent educator, parenting through our children’s sexual development

Start talking to your boys

Don’t let your discomfort get in the way of letting our boys be their whole selves

Amy’s short video about having convos about sexual harassment/assault with our kids

Talking to our kids about standing up to friends who are harassing others

Seize opportunities for modeling/showing them what it looks like to “do what’s right”

Story of masculinity inside of supporting a woman on Reddit

Acknowledging that standing up for what is right is challenging!!

Teachable moments are when they make mistakes and getting into mischief

Final thoughts – “hurt people hurt people” – boys and men are hurting and therefore hurting others… when we help them heal from their hurts, we are solving the problem

Where to find Tosha:

www.toshaschore.com

10 day reconnect parenting boys peacefully

www.listenthebook.com

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By Casey O'Roarty

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