Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Eps 185: How to be fiercely committed and lovingly detached


Listen Later

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves...

::::

 

Today is solo show – woohoo!!  I’ve been missing you all.

 

I am so excited to have been interviewed by some amazing gals out there in the Podcast world. Anna Seewald of the Authentic Parenting Podcast – www.authenticparenting.com/podcast had me on and we talked about building trust – both in ourselves and our kids. Loved every minute of it and can’t WAIT to meet Anna in person at her conference in May, the Authentic Parenting Conference – www.authenticparenting.com/conference.

 

I was also a guest on the TILT parenting podcast. Long time listeners of JC will know Debbie Reber from episodes 54 and 145. Debbie is the founder of TILT parenting and host of the TILT parenting podcast - http://www.tiltparenting.com/. Debbie and I talk about my book, Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey, and connect the dots around how doing our own work around self control and centering is useful for all parents, whether their children are typically or differently wired. Check out those shows!!!

 

Today I want to talk about a mantra that I have found useful time and time again. I learned it from a friend and mentor of mine – shout out to Denise Yost! – we saw each other for the first time in a while and when I asked her how she was, she responded with “fiercely committed, and lovingly detached”

 

Fiercely committed, lovingly detached.

 

It’s this a powerful come from for parenting?

 

What it means to be fiercely committed?

  • Creating the environment
  • Meeting their needs
  • Advocating for them
  • Being kind and firm
  • Encouraging them

 

What does it mean to be lovingly detached?

  • Allowing them to be who they are
  • Allowing for them to build resiliency through navigating natural consequences
  • Allowing them to be uncomfortable
  • Trusting that they are on THEIR journey
  • Letting go
  • Giving them responsibility over their lives

 

What gets in the way?

  • Our dreams/vision for them
  • Our past/failures/mistakes
  • Our assumptions
  • Our addiction to what other people think
  • Our insecurity about “doing it wrong”
  • Our emotional regulation (or lack of)
  • Our lens of the “right/wrong” way

 

What will help us move towards “fiercely committed, lovingly detached”?

 

Two list exercise.

  • Challenges
    • Everyone probably has a really similar list – YAY!
  • Gifts
    • Doubt that you have any particular job description…
    • What about “happy”?
      • Can we hope for content?
      • Can we hope for healthy coping skills and resiliency?
      • Can we hope for grounded and empowered?
    • Remember the challenges are at the tip of the iceberg – and anything we “do” with the challenges should somehow, someway, teach/model/or allow our kids to PRACTICE the life skills we want them to embody.

 

A bit about DO.

  • So often parents want to know WHAT DO I DO??
  • In the moment tools
    • This is a narrow mindset
  • PD is a broader lens than in the moment.
    • TRSUT in developing relationship
    • TRUST that kids do better when they feel batter
    • TRUST that all humans what to be connected and know that they matter and have influence
  • In the moment?
    • Keep everyone SAFE
    • Acknowledge your child’s experience
    • Look for solutions and/or ways of making things right

 

They are doing the best they can with the tools they have in the moment.

  • Just because they can tell you what they will do better next time during a calm moment does NOT mean they will access that when they are flipped
  • Not about being naughty/bad – its about relationship, tools and practice

 

:::::

 

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 

This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 

Presale is OPEN– as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS.  Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

 

Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!

 

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join

 

Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!

 

::::

 

Authentic Parenting Conference

Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!

 

I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.

 

If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!

 

Come play with me!!

 

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Joyful Courage for Parenting TeensBy Casey O'Roarty

  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8

4.8

246 ratings


More shows like Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

View all
Mindful Mama: Raising Kind, Confident Kids Without Losing Your Cool | Parenting Strategies For Big Emotions & More by Hunter Clarke-Fields

Mindful Mama: Raising Kind, Confident Kids Without Losing Your Cool | Parenting Strategies For Big Emotions & More

437 Listeners

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children by Debbie Reber

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

961 Listeners

Therapist Uncensored Podcast by Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Therapist Uncensored Podcast

1,387 Listeners

AT Parenting Survival | Raising Kids with OCD & Anxiety by Natasha Daniels: Child Therapist, Child Anxiety and Child OCD Expert

AT Parenting Survival | Raising Kids with OCD & Anxiety

1,196 Listeners

Beautifully Complex by Penny Williams

Beautifully Complex

349 Listeners

Calm Parenting Podcast by Kirk Martin

Calm Parenting Podcast

1,389 Listeners

Neurodiversity Podcast by Emily Kircher-Morris

Neurodiversity Podcast

421 Listeners

Raising Good Humans by Dear Media, Aliza Pressman

Raising Good Humans

1,859 Listeners

Flusterclux With Lynn Lyons: For Parents Who Worry by Lynn Lyons LICSW, Robin Hutson

Flusterclux With Lynn Lyons: For Parents Who Worry

450 Listeners

Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam by Dr. Cam

Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam

59 Listeners

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting by Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

121 Listeners

Good Inside with Dr. Becky by Dr. Becky Kennedy

Good Inside with Dr. Becky

4,361 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Glennon Doyle and Audacy

We Can Do Hard Things

41,337 Listeners

This Is So Awkward by Peoples Media, This Is So Awkward

This Is So Awkward

316 Listeners

Parenting & You With Dr. Shefali by Dr. Shefali / Maia Wisdom

Parenting & You With Dr. Shefali

158 Listeners