Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Eps 90: Larissa Dann is on Talking About How to Let Go of Consequences and Rewards


Listen Later

Today’s guest is Larissa Dann, a Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) trainer. We are discussing parenting without rewards and punishments. Join us!

 “Children don’t misbehave, they behave to meet a need.”


What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Being assertive without alienating our children
  • Using “I messages” to communicate needs
  • Trusting our child’s desire to be helpful vs. presenting requests in a way that is prescriptive
  • Using active listening to gain cooperation
  • The limitations of contingent rewards
  • The impact of rewards on motivation for cooperation – who are they cooperating for
  • Omitting rewards to foster self-discipline and an inner locus of control
  • Preparing children for adulthood by making them less dependent on the judgment of others
  • Using relationship skills to help your child develop a moral compass
  • The power of natural consequences in building resilience and developing internal judgments about right and wrong
  • Trusting children to care and problem solve to find mutual solutions
  • How children’s behavior is impacted by unmet needs
  • Avoiding the temptation to attribute intent or take behavior personally
  • The gift of imperfection and modeling accountability
  • The benefit of modeling alternate skills to teach solutions instead of using punishments
  • The impact we have on the world through our own parenting practices in the way we raise our kids
  • Parenting as imparting soft skills
  • Brainstorming solutions to discomfort when the activity is non-negotiable
  • Creating routines and agreements, doing with vs doing to and communicating expectations in a way that is an invitation to relationship
  • Conflict as competing needs
  • Shifting language around what “works” to what is “helpful” – moving from control to partnership
  •  

    What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

    This is what it takes to be a child growing up in an adult’s world and it’s something we so often forget. Children so often are powerless and it takes courage for them to say no when we are the huge person in their life and when they think they might get into trouble and yet they are the most joyful beings on the planet. In the face of the most dire situations, children can somehow find that spark of joy that they can bring out from terrible situations. As a parent, it takes the courage of conviction, to parent against the flow of accepted parenting opinion and practice and the joy comes when you see your children flower and grow sometimes despite your many mistakes.

    Resources:

    Parent Effectiveness Training

    Where to find Larissa:

    Website l Facebook l Twitter l Instagram

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    ...more
    View all episodesView all episodes
    Download on the App Store

    Joyful Courage for Parenting TeensBy Casey O'Roarty

    • 4.8
    • 4.8
    • 4.8
    • 4.8
    • 4.8

    4.8

    247 ratings


    More shows like Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

    View all
    ADHD Experts Podcast by ADDitude

    ADHD Experts Podcast

    1,328 Listeners

    Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled by JLML Press

    Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

    3,658 Listeners

    Mindful Mama: Raising Kind, Confident Kids Without Losing Your Cool | Parenting Strategies For Big Emotions & More by Hunter Clarke-Fields

    Mindful Mama: Raising Kind, Confident Kids Without Losing Your Cool | Parenting Strategies For Big Emotions & More

    446 Listeners

    Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children by Debbie Reber

    Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

    982 Listeners

    What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson

    What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

    1,002 Listeners

    AT Parenting Survival | Raising Kids with OCD & Anxiety by Natasha Daniels: Child Therapist, Child Anxiety and Child OCD Expert

    AT Parenting Survival | Raising Kids with OCD & Anxiety

    1,220 Listeners

    In It: Raising Kids Who Learn Differently by Understood.org, Gretchen Vierstra, Rachel Bozek

    In It: Raising Kids Who Learn Differently

    247 Listeners

    Raising Good Humans by Dear Media, Aliza Pressman

    Raising Good Humans

    1,890 Listeners

    THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST by Holly Blanc Moses

    THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST

    636 Listeners

    Flusterclux With Lynn Lyons: For Parents Who Worry by Lynn Lyons LICSW, Robin Hutson

    Flusterclux With Lynn Lyons: For Parents Who Worry

    461 Listeners

    Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens by Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

    Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

    100 Listeners

    Good Inside with Dr. Becky by Dr. Becky Kennedy

    Good Inside with Dr. Becky

    4,511 Listeners

    We Can Do Hard Things by Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

    We Can Do Hard Things

    41,561 Listeners

    This Is So Awkward by Peoples Media, This Is So Awkward

    This Is So Awkward

    328 Listeners

    Divorce with Sam and Leah by Sam and Leah

    Divorce with Sam and Leah

    43 Listeners