Cotard’s delusion, also known as Cotard’s syndrome, is an extremely rare condition where the patient believes that they are actually dead. For the bestselling author Esmé Weijun Wang, Cotard’s came along after she had already been traveling a difficult road that involved schizoaffective disorder along with a host of other mental health issues. While experiencing Cotard’s, Esmé urgently told her husband that he was dead too and so was their dog. She believed, was certain, that the life she was experiencing was kind of a simulation where she had to prove herself worthy of a second chance and not an eternity in Hell. We also hear about the shocking way Yale handled Esmé’s mental health and about the trauma very early in childhood that she thinks led to the complex PTSD that fueled a lot of her mental health challenges.

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The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-8255, 1-800-273-TALK

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International suicide hotline numbers available here: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines