On both sides of a family estrangement is the painful experience of missing what society leads us to believe is a given; that family sticks together. Sometimes, though, it becomes too painful to continue, either temporarily or permanently. How do separated family members find peace with an ambiguous loss in which they both know the other is still alive, possibly still relating to other members of the family and making assumptions about the other? Navigating this territory, on either side of the fence, is challenging yet often invites deep growth and self reflection. Learning to support oneself in a circumstance of separation holds the possibility of signaling that we are important to ourselves, that we deserve our own care. How do we invite this kind of loss out of the shadows, acknowledging how frequently family members estrange from each other? And how do we address the fear of judgement and shame that those on both sides often feel?