We welcome Dr. Billy Garvey to this episode of My New Life. He runs a clinic in Melbourne, Australia, that helps parents focus on their children's strengths, and move through some of their challenges.

The clinic has a 3-year waitlist and after listening to this episode, you'll understand why: Dr. Billy is really good at helping caregivers and children connect in those moments when stronger limits are needed. He works with a lot of neurodiverse children, and brings that adaptive lens to our conversation. Dr. Billy is @drbillygarvey and has his own podcast, Pop Culture Parenting.

Takeaways:

1. When your child is elevated — hitting or lashing out — it's not the time to build skills. Our role in that moment is to show them they are safe. Rather than instructing them to "settle down," take that moment to be a calming presence for your child.

2. You might be thinking: I can't believe that set them off! But Dr. Billy reminds us that the same sensitivity that feeds the emotional dysregulation also makes them really receptive to positive feedback — so focus on their strengths and harnessing those. Look for opportunities to praise them when they are interacting positively with a sibling or doing what they've been asked.

3. Struggling to get out the door in the morning? See if you can chunk the larger request into smaller ones. For example, start with a specific 2-step direction (put on your socks and shoes) and, once that is mastered, you can move onto more steps.

4. If your child is repeating a behavior that you'd like to see less of, be sure to give them an alternative rather than simply asking them to stop. If the behavior involves another child, create some distance, whenever possible. They need time to cool off.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Find Dr. Billy Garvey @drbillygarvey

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