Fake Teams

Get ready everyone, the fantasy playoff are here and Pete shaved his mustache. It’s business time. Pete and Clark give their hottest takes heading into the fantasy playoffs, including Blaine Gabbert will outscore Dak Prescott (2:43), Kareem Hunt has become unstartable (12:48), Matt Breida bout to score all the fantasy points (15:01), and Julio Jones isn’t worth a 1st round pick anymore (18:42). The guys then give Week 14 start/sits but really it’s more like what’s your confidence in these players heading into Week 14 as compared to a TV character (24:45) and preview what could be the greatest Thursday night football game ever (35:11).

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Pete, Clark and Jordan recap all the Week 13 action, and even a little post-Week 13 action as the guys start the show addressing Gronk’s suspension (1:36), the Giants’ major house clean (2:38) and then the guys delve into the chaos of Week 13, including Sexy Rexy becoming the Patriots’ go-to scorer (8:05), Mr. Suave Jimmy G getting his first win (15:13), how to handle the Packers’ backfield (26:15), Josh Gordon looking like the Josh Gordon we all remembered (33:11), will Alvin Kamara ever be stopped? how many teams will Mark Ingram bang up the middle? (52:37) and both Carson Wentz and Russell Wilson are good at football (59:32). Don’t worry, the guys also have their Week 13 “You Helped No One” nominees (4:15) and a few names to grab off the waiver wires (1:02:52).

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It’s officially #official: The New York Football Giants are idiots. Pete and Clark open the show in a state of shock at the news of Eli Manning being benched so unceremoniously (1:29). The guys recover enough to talk cushiest fantasy playoff schedules (10:00) including: the Bills’ cakewalk (15:18), Philip Rivers and Keenan Allen looking like fire emojis (30:16) and why the Julio train will keep rolling (33:35). Plus, Pete gives his best Mike Tomlin impression (37:50), Week 13 starts/sits (39:12) and a Thursday night preview which is more about Dak Prescott than actually about the game (50:35).

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It’s not just Pete and Just Clark Barnes coming at you today as the guys are joined again by Jordan Smith to recap Week 12 action. But first, they give their nominees for the You Helped No One award (1:30) and debate the finer points of the phrase “pulling back the curtain that covers the piano” (6:54). Then, it’s time for football as the guys give winners and losers from Week 12 including Julio Jones doing Julio Jones things, finally (10:00), Joe Mixon looking talented (16:24), an alien operating Andy Reid (23:19), Alvin Kamara all but locking up rookie of the year honors (33:11), Clark giving Eddie Lacy a new name (39:07) and Aqib Talib cementing himself as the Chain Killer (42:27). The guys wrap up the show by introducing you to a few handcuffs that you should have on your roster (53:51).

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Pete and Clark are coming at you with a special Saturday episode after celebrating a wonderful Thanksgiving on Thursday. The guys rank Thanksgiving sides (1:40), recap the Turkey day games (4:00) and then give some challenging starts and sits for Week 12 (16:08), including start Greg Olsen or Dion Lewis? (23:19) and sit Jordan Howard or Zach Ertz? (26:31).

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Pete and Clark are joined this week by Fake Teams and Acme Packing Co. writer Jordan Smith to recap Week 11 action. But first, Pete plays his favorite guitar riff ever to pay tribute to Malcolm Young of AC/DC who passed away this weekend. The guys then put up their nominees for the You Helped No One award (2:25) and then head right into Week 11 winners and losers (6:43), including Adam Thielen helping the Vikings cement themselves as an NFC power (16:47), Jordan breaking his TV over the Packers’ loss (22:32), Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara running the Saints to victory (33:11), Pete’s victory lap all over Sean McDermott and the Bills (36:28), Carson Wentz continuing his MVP run over the Cowboys (49:30) and Clark hating Black Friday (51:38).

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Pete and Clark start the podcast with some breaking news: The Bills have benched Tyrod Taylor in favor of a rookie quarterback whose name neither of the guys cares enough to remember (0:50). Then it’s on to the usual Thursday segments: Your Dad’s Injury Report (5:08), Week 11 starts and sits (22:11) and Thursday Night Preview (28:24). For the whole middle part of the episode, they guys give fantasy playoff superlatives, including player most likely power you to a championship (8:32) and pull a Brett Favre and let you down at the worst possible moment (16:58).

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Welcome to double digit weeks baby! Pete and Clark look at their favorite games of Week 10, but first pick their winners for this week’s coveted You Helped No One award (2:09). The guys then recap the best of Week 10, including the Saints running all over the Bills (8:44), injuries galore in Green Bay (13:05), getting Marcus Mariota a better head coach (18:40), the 49ers’ first victory (30:43) and Adrian Clayborn single handedly beating the Cowboys (41:41). Pete then goes full fan boy and tells the Packers how to fix their team: be more like the Patriots (49:08).

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Pete and Clark start the episode pulling off the sheet on the piano and give a podcast update (0:53), then talk Martellus Bennett’s surprise release (3:51) and your dad reading the injury report (5:42). Then the guys give bold predictions for the second half of the season including Leonard Fournette will lead the league in rushing (8:28), Alvin Kamara will outscore Kareem Hunt in total points (10:00), Jared Goff finishes top 5 QB in fantasy (15:39) and Seahawks will lose in the Super Bowl despite having a make-believe running back (19:17) and the Steelers will play in the Super Bowl despite losing to the Patriots in the AFC Championship game (22:32). Finally, the guys give two must-starts for Week 10 (25:01), debate if pineapple belongs on pizza (32:42) and preview Thursday Night Football (34:10).

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It’s just Pete and Clark again this episode as Jon still isn’t feeling well. GET BETTER JON! The guys chose their “You Helped No One” nominees and announce the winner (1:24) then turn their attention to Week 9. They pick winners and losers from all the games this past week, including Washington’s surprise upset in Seattle (6:48), Adrian Peterson turning back the hands of time (14:12), A.J. Green suplexing Jalen Ramsey (24:19), Mike Evans decking Marshon Lattimore (29:24), how Cam Newton plans to save the Titanic (36:58), Tom Brady almost becoming a 49er (46:17) and Smokin’ Jay Cutler bumming cigs (52:38).

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