Fighting Matters

Why do so many women quit Jiu-Jitsu—and what can we do to fix it?

In this candid and eye-opening episode, Fighting Matters sits down with Shelby York of Rough Hands BJJ to talk about the real reasons women leave the sport. From casual misogyny to unsafe training environments, Shelby shares the often overlooked struggles women face in martial arts—and what coaches, training partners, and gym owners can actually do to make things better.

Also featuring hosts Steve Kwan, Jesse Walker, and Mike Mahaffey.

✅ Topics include:
 • The subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways women are pushed out
 • Why some gyms feel unsafe—and how to fix that
 • How to build a culture where women want to train
 • The difference between intimacy and sexualization on the mats
 • Shelby’s own stories of navigating the martial arts world as a coach

👉 Whether you run a gym or just want to be a better training partner, this conversation is a must-listen.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introductions
02:23 Women in Martial Arts: Experiences and Challenges
07:07 Shelby's Martial Arts Background and Perspectives
10:29 The Misogyny Problem in Martial Arts
16:13 Navigating Gender Dynamics in the Gym
24:41 Addressing Subtle Forms of Misogyny
26:09 Understanding Victim Blame in Self-Defense
27:16 The Role of Physical Attributes in Martial Arts
28:11 Gaslighting in Martial Arts Training
30:14 Communication Styles in Self-Defense Training
32:19 Addressing Sexual Assault in Self-Defense
35:07 The Importance of Women's Voices in Martial Arts
36:45 Recognizing Trusted Aggressors
39:14 The Reality of Self-Defense Situations
40:21 Empowering Women to Speak Up
42:26 Navigating Male Receptivity in Conversations
47:45 Creating a Safe Training Environment
53:02 Challenging Gender Stereotypes in Sports
55:04 Navigating Gender Dynamics in Training
57:53 Empowerment and Consent in Martial Arts
01:00:14 Creating Safe Spaces in Jiu-Jitsu
01:03:01 Building an Inclusive Gym Culture
01:10:10 The Importance of Genuine Interactions

#jiujitsu #bjj #womensbjj #martialarts #selfdefense #grapplingculture #fightingmatters

In this episode of Fighting Matters, Steve Kwan (BJJ Mental Models) is joined by Tim Lee Peterson for a candid conversation about the UFC’s growing alignment with far-right politics. They discuss how combat sports are being used as a cultural vehicle for political extremism, including the visible support of authoritarian figures and the platforming of openly fascist athletes.

The discussion explores how these developments impact the broader martial arts community, the role of disinformation, and the danger of normalizing political violence and exclusionary ideologies in a sport that should be about inclusion, discipline, and mutual respect.

🎙️ Follow Steve: @bjjmentalmodels on Instagram and Threads
🎙️ Follow Tim: @timothyleepeterson on Instagram and Threads

The word fascism gets thrown around a lot, but words have meanings and fascism does not mean “ all the things that I don’t like”. in this video, I go through the 10 pillars of fascism as laid out by Jason Stanley in his book, How Fascism Works.

In this episode of Fighting Matters, Steve Kwan (BJJ Mental Models), Jesse Walker (Rough Hands BJJ), and Mike Mahaffey (Magic BJJ) discuss the backlash to a recent viral post about Jiu-Jitsu’s historical links to fascism, and how that history continues to shape the culture of the sport today.

They also talk about Joe Rogan’s evolving role in martial arts media, the influence of the manosphere, and the challenges of having honest conversations in a polarized environment.

Topics include:
– Why critiques of Jiu-Jitsu history often feel personal
– Whether and how to separate the art from its founders
– Joe Rogan’s influence and responsibility as a media figure
– The impact of social media, tribalism, and identity
– The manosphere’s reach into martial arts culture
– What it might take to build a more open and inclusive community

#BJJ #JoeRogan #JiuJitsu #Manosphere #MartialArts #FightingMatters #BJJPodcast

Is Jiu-Jitsu just about choking people—or can it actually make the world better?

In this episode of Fighting Matters, Steve Kwan (BJJ Mental Models), Jeff Shaw (Bellingham BJJ), Jesse Walker (Rough Hands BJJ), and Mike Mahaffey (Old Bastard BJJ) dive into how martial artists are stepping up to support their communities during turbulent times. From running charity seminars for LGBTQ+ and immigrant groups, to facing political backlash and online trolls, the crew lays it all out—with jokes, passion, and a bit of Moon Knight cosplay.

🌀 What does “conservatism” mean on the mats?
🔥 What happens when martial artists use their platforms to fight for more than just submissions?
🤝 How can YOU make a difference in your gym, even if you’re “just” a white belt?

Drop a comment with your own stories or ideas. Let’s build something better—together.

#BJJCommunity #FightingMatters #JiuJitsuForGood #MartialArtsPodcast #SteveKwan #JeffShaw #JesseWalker #MikeMahaffey #BJJFundraisers #TransRights #ImmigrantSupport #BJJMentalModels #BJJPodcast

Stephan Kesting, Mike Mahaffey, Jeff Shaw, and Jesse Walker have an unfiltered, deeply personal conversation about the growing political divide in the combat sports world.

They discuss recent developments with Conor McGregor, Dana White, Andrew Tate, and Cain Velasquez, and the reaction of the MMA community to those events.  They also address how hero fantasies can have negative and unintended consequences, how children of all nationalities should be protected, and how real change requires genuine commitment and action from individuals.

👉 Like, share, and subscribe if you want to see more honest conversations like this.

📌 Featuring:
 • Stephan Kesting (Grapplearts)
 • Mike Mahaffey (Old Bastard BJJ)
 • Jeff Shaw (Bellingham BJJ)
 • Jesse Walker (Rough Hands BJJ)

#BJJ #Politics #JiuJitsu #MMA #MartialArts #Fascism #ProgressiveJiuJitsu #CombatSports #BJJMentalModels

In this special roundtable episode, Stephan Kesting, Steve Kwan, Jeff Shaw, and Jesse Walker for an unfiltered, deeply personal conversation about the growing political divide in the combat sports world.

They tackle tough questions:
 • Why has far-right ideology gained traction in Jiu-Jitsu, MMA, and pro wrestling?
 • Is it really possible—or responsible—to “keep politics out of the gym”?
 • How do we support vulnerable communities and still create welcoming, inclusive spaces on the mats?
 • What does it actually mean to be a responsible coach, gym owner, or practitioner in 2025?

This isn’t just a political rant—it’s a call to action for those who still believe martial arts can be a force for good.

👉 Like, share, and subscribe if you want to see more honest conversations like this.

📌 Featuring:
 • Stephan Kesting (Grapplearts)
 • Steve Kwan (BJJ Mental Models)
 • Jeff Shaw (Bellingham BJJ)
 • Jesse Walker (Rough Hands BJJ)

#BJJ #Politics #JiuJitsu #MMA #MartialArts #Fascism #ProgressiveJiuJitsu #CombatSports #BJJMentalModels