Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Finding Balance Between Community and Individualism With Donna Fields


Listen Later

How do we balance community and independence?

This question is posed by today’s guest, Donna Fields, who, twenty years ago, moved to Spain, and experienced culture shock, going from the United States – an individualistic society – to one that was collectivist and communal. 

Donna is an author, professor, teacher, trainer, and host of the podcast Doorways to Learning with Donna. Here, she asks: what do we look for when we leave one place and go to another? For her, it was family and community. But is it possible to be TOO communal? 

Spaniards are often extremely family oriented, but is it possible family ties literally tie them down when they could have more experiences if allowed to cut loose? When you move somewhere so different, it makes you wonder: where’s the balance? What feels right to me?

I love episodes like today’s. It feels like we could just be sitting around the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, trying to explore life’s deeper meanings. We don’t answer all the questions, but it sure is an interesting conversation.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • All about Donna – her background in New York and New Mexico and how she ended up in Spain for the last 20 years
  • What do we look for when we leave one place and go to another? And why do we leave the house in general – to do something, or to be with other people?
  • Spanish vs. American culture: how each views family, community, reciprocity, trust, etc., and the pros and cons of each
  • The hyper-vigilance required in individualistic societies where you’re doing everything by yourself
  • The ripple effects we can have on others and the power of letting go 


Resources & Links:

Donna has compiled some material that will generate fascinating conversations about cultural differences and the natural unions of communities. 

Check out Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community by Robert D. Putnam, and if you haven’t yet, listen to Episode 41 about the Liking Gap.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

55 ratings


More shows like Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

View all
On Being with Krista Tippett by On Being Studios

On Being with Krista Tippett

10,366 Listeners

The Star Wars Underworld Podcast by The Star Wars Underworld

The Star Wars Underworld Podcast

207 Listeners

Crime Junkie by audiochuck

Crime Junkie

365,600 Listeners

The goop Podcast by Goop, Inc. and Audacy

The goop Podcast

6,696 Listeners

The Liz Moody Podcast by Liz Moody

The Liz Moody Podcast

2,993 Listeners

On Purpose with Jay Shetty by iHeartPodcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

26,892 Listeners

The Papaya Podcast by Sarah Nicole Landry

The Papaya Podcast

1,552 Listeners

She Reads Truth Podcast by She Reads Truth

She Reads Truth Podcast

2,785 Listeners

Friend Forward by Danielle Bayard Jackson -- Female Friendship Expert

Friend Forward

268 Listeners

SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay by SuperPsyched ©

SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay

166 Listeners

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship by Nina Badzin

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

223 Listeners

I Missed Me by Mafe Anzures

I Missed Me

422 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

20,358 Listeners